"Why did you change the style for this one chapter?" You asked me, finding me hiding in the air vents.
I peek out from the gaps, staring into your soul, "Because I'm writing too many characters in this chapter and I can." I reply, taking a handful of pixie dust and throwing it into your face.
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Beetlejuice bridal style carried Dave up the long driveway to their forever home....probably.
Beetlejuice kicked open the front door, and slid inside. People, move your GODDAMN LEGS PLEASE.
Dave looked around. This was the ugliest fucking house he had ever seen in his life.
Beetlejuice: Welcome home, honey!
Dave: Well damn.
Beetlejuice: Hey, me and you? We're gonna do some wild stuff tonight.~
Dave: *blushes* W-W-Well damn!
All of a sudden sudden, a woman appeared before Beetlejuice and Dave. Did she walk in or did she just appear? Idk, I wasn't paying attention.
Delia: Beetle, who is this man and why did you bring him into my house?
Dave: Your house? Well damn, he said this was his house.
Delia: His house!? This is my house! *crosses her arms*
All of another sudden, a man appeared beside Delia.
Charles: Delia, honey, this is everybody's house. Be nice to our guest!
Delia: *sighs, shaking her head* Fine, I'm sorry. *looks at Dave* Hello, sir, my name is Delia! Who are you?
Dave: I'm Dave, I'm Beetlejuice's new husband.
Charles and Delia both gasped extremely loudly, and their eyes were as wide as the biggest dinner plane you've ever seen!
Charles: HUSBAND!?
Delia: You got MARRIED, Beetle!?
Beetlejuice: *smirks* Yeeeep. Just today. Five minutes ago.
Charles and Delia looked at each other with their eyes still so incredibly big. Then, another woman walked through the wall and stared at the scene.
Barbara: What's happening here? Did I miss something?
Dave: Well damn, how many people live here?
Beetlejuice: Uuuuhhhh.....six. Sometimes seven, when some weird guy climbs through the windows.
Barbara: Sooo...who is this?
Beetlejuice: Babs. This is my brand-spanking new husband, Dave!
Dave: Please don't refer to me like that until we're in the bedroom.
Barbara's eyes widened as well, looking just as shocked as she always does when something happens.
Barbara: Someone married you, Beetle!?
Beetlejuice: Yep.
Barbara: Willingly!?
Beetlejuice & Dave: Yep.
Delia: Unbelievable!
Charles: I didn't know you swung that way, Beetle.
Beetlejuice: Well, you know what they say. I swing.
The room was silent for a long moment.
Barbara: Are...you going to explain that?
Beetlejuice: I gotta piss.
Beetlejuice carefully. VERY CAREFULLY. Stood David up and kissed his husband's cheek. Dave blushed.
Beetlejuice then vanished to take a fat piss.
Barbara: *stepping closer to Dave* So, what made you marry Beetle?
Delia: Do you actually like him?
Dave: Well damn, I thought he was gonna hurt me and my coworker. But, he's actually not that bad to me. He wanted to marry my coworker but she only kisses women, and I sure do like men. I've never had a boyfriend so I thought I'd give it a shot.
All of a bright sudden, a camera flash filled the room.
Dave stumbled backwards in shock, he hasn't seen bright light in a good ten minutes. Barbara supported him.
Adam: Whoops, we didn't mean to scare him that badly.
Lydia: We heard BJ got married.
Dave: *raises his hand*
Lydia walked over to Dave, leaning forward so she could get a good look at Dave's face. Oh my fuck, SHE ACTUALLY WALKED.
Lydia: What made you like Beetle?
Dave: Well damn...I guess he done rizzed me up.
Adam: The undeniable rizz trick.
Beetlejuice returned from his fat piss and wrapped his arm around Dave's chonky shoulders.
Beetlejuice: Well, gang, I hate to run. Actually I don't. Buuuut, I gotta take my brand-spanking new husband to our bedroom for the night
Dave: *blushes* W-W-W-W-Well damn!
Beetlejuice picked Dave up, and vanished up some spiral stairs. He tripped once, but don't worry. BJ and Dave were ok.
