iris | drarry

chapter 8

Harry opened the door of the private suite, tugging his bag behind him. It was the next day, the day he was expected to move in with his new roommate. He didn't own much, so it wasn't hard to pack all of his things into one suitcase. He walked through the door, looking around his new home. 

The main door opened into a living room, with a couch and a fireplace being the only furnishings in the room. There were three doors off of this room, two leading to bedrooms and one to a bathroom. Harry walked through the living room, dropping his suitcase at the side of the couch. He poked his head inside the bathroom, seeing a spacious shower and two sinks, as well as a toilet. 

He then went to look in the bedrooms. By comparison, they both looked around the same size, with very little furnishings in either, just a four poster bed, a nightstand with a lamp on it, and a comfortable looking chair. Harry decided to choose the bedroom closest to the bathroom, grabbing his suitcase and starting to pull it towards the bedroom. 

He didn't know how to feel about what had happened. Harry still didn't understand how, after trying so many different things for his panic attacks, Draco Malfoy just happened to be the one thing that helped. Maybe he'd spelled him. 

The front door then opened, Malfoy stepping through it with his own bag. Harry stopped, the two locking eyes for a moment. He tore his eyes away, walking into the bedroom. They hadn't said a word to each other since what happened in McGonagall's office, and had barely even looked at each other. 

He thought back on his conversation with Ron and Hermione the night before and grimaced. 

"It was really weird, Harry," Hermione said, sitting next to Harry in the common room, talking with a hushed tone. Ron was sitting on the opposite side of him, and nodded in agreement. 

"Yeah, mate, you were hanging onto every word he said. He didn't even seem like he was trying at first, but then McGonagall told him to actually help and he just... changed," Ron added.

Harry just shrugged, staring at the carpet below. He didn't want to talk about it, he didn't quite understand it himself, or really know what happened. It was weird to see Malfoy that way, he actually seemed to... care.

"I don't know, and I don't care," he said softly. "I don't want to think about that right now. I just- I'm tired."

Hermione nodded, looking worried. She bit her lip before speaking. "I'm sorry, Harry. I really am, I didn't know this was going to happen. She said she was going to put you in a room with someone, but didn't say it would be Malfoy- None of us knew."

Harry shook his head. "You shouldn't apologize, I'm the one who's been awful, especially to you. I deserve this. I deserve everything that's happened."

Harry sighed, sitting on his new bed. Hermione then had told him he was forgiven, and that he didn't deserve to be stuck with Malfoy, but Harry didn't mean that. He didn't tell her, but he meant everything that had ever happened to him. 

You deserve it all, the little voice in his head said to him. 

He deserved being abused by the Dursleys, being tortured by Voldemort, hurting this much... He was the reason they were all dead, after all. 

James. Lily. Cedric. Sirius. Dumbledore. Hedwig. Mad-Eye. Dobby. Remus. Tonks. Snape. Fred.

The names flashed in his mind, and Harry shut his eyes tightly, his head falling into his hands as he shook it. 

"No, no.. No, no, no..." he mumbled to himself softly, bringing his legs up to his chest as he curled himself into a tight ball. He took some deep breaths, willing the voice in his head to leave him alone.