iris | drarry

chapter 9

"I promise, Potter, no one will hurt you. Not me, not anyone else. Not even yourself."

The words echoed in Harry's mind around the other voices. He'd been plagued by them all night, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to sleep. The longer he was off of the drugs, the worse it got. He was racked with chills most of the night, and though those had subsided, he now had a massive headache. Along with the physical symptoms, he was also just... terrified. And he was in such pain... 

The pain was new. He was used to being frightened, used to feeling fear, but the pain- He hadn't let himself feel this pain since Sirius died in front of him. Memories and the sound of Harry's piercing scream flooded his mind, daggers piercing his chest at the thought of his godfather. 

He closed his eyes, trying to drift to sleep now that it was already past 3 in the morning, only to be plagued with more dreams.

"Let me through!"

Harry was sobbing, holding onto Cedric's dead body on the ground outside the maze. He could hear Dumbledore behind him, telling him to leave Cedric, to leave him behind. He couldn't, he couldn't leave him, not there-

"My boy, that's my boy, that's my son!"

He heard Amos Diggory's cries as he fell beside him, felt his sobs. He tore Dumbledore's grasp from his arms, falling over Cedric once more. 

"He's back- He's back-" 

This was all he managed to say through his sobs until he was torn away from the lifeless boy. He stared at his body as he was dragged away, screaming his name as he realized that he was dead, and it was all Harry's fault. 

Harry woke up with a scream, panting heavily as his eyes flew open, taking in his surroundings. The first thing he saw was Draco Malfoy, seated on the edge of the bed, his hands gripping Harry's arms in the same place Dumbledore's had. 

"Potter, relax," Malfoy was saying, but Harry just backed up away from him, his breathing becoming more rapid as he thought about the dream, flashes of it still playing in his mind. 

Malfoy cursed, looking frustrated. He moved closer, grabbing Harry's arms again and shaking him a bit. "Snap out of it! You're right here, not there!"

Harry shook his head, his heart thundering in his chest. "He's coming.. He's coming- He killed Cedric- He's coming-" he was mumbling, though it all seemed so distant, becoming farther and farther with each breath. 

Malfoy took a deep breath before placing his face right in front of Harry's, grabbing the sides of his head, pulling it forward so it rested in the crook of Malfoy's shoulder. He then felt a large hand on the back of his head, gently massaging his scalp, another on his back, rubbing small circles. Harry didn't know how to describe it, but he felt himself being pulled back into reality a bit. 

"Potter," he said softly. "Potter, you're okay. Take some deep breaths for me, okay?" 

He was becoming slowly more and more in touch with reality as Malfoy continued talking, his voice like a silk caress against his agitated brain. 

"You're doing so good, those are some great deep breaths. I'm so proud of you, doing so good for me," Harry didn't know why, but he felt himself nodding, soaking in every word. He couldn't explain it. Something about the sureness of his voice, the praise, the reassurance... something clicked in Harry that hadn't before. 

Harry continued breathing deeply until he was calm, only his trembling hands an indicator that anything had happened. He didn't move quite yet, the warmness of Malfoy's body being a comfort. He focused on the hands rubbing him, the repetitive motion calming him.  

Harry finally pulled away from him, unable to meet his eyes. He looked down at his hands, his fingers picking at each other. They were silent for a moment, Harry feeling Malfoy's eyes on him.

He's embarrassed for you. No wonder why, look at you. Pathetic. Crying into your enemy's arms. 

"I'm sorry I woke you," Harry mumbled, chewing on his lip hard. Not only did Malfoy now witness multiple of his nightmares, but he'd calmed him down from a panic attack using... whatever that was.. not once, but twice. 

He glanced up to see Malfoy shaking his head, his eyes filled with a softness Harry had never seen before, but also a glint of power and assurance. "You have nothing to be sorry for." 

He must have noticed Harry's embarrassment, no doubt by Harry's red cheeks, because he added, "I used to get them too, you know. 6th year, especially."

Harry fully looked up at him, then, his eyebrows scrunching together. "Really?" he asked. He didn't know that. He'd known that Malfoy was different that year, but he'd just chalked it up to all the death eater drama. He wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone, even Malfoy.

He nodded. "You walked in on one, once. Remember? Nearly killed me after," he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Harry gasped softly as the memory flooded into him, grimacing a bit. "I- I didn't know.. I'm so sorry," he said. He realized he felt bad for the male, not having known he was suffering then the way he was now. 

Malfoy smiled, shaking his head again. "Wasn't your fault. And I had friends to help me, as well. Blaise, he was the one who got me through it."

Harry couldn't help himself. "Was he the one who taught you how to do... that?" He didn't know exactly what it was called that Malfoy had done to get him to calm down, but it was definitely some sort of spell or something.

Malfoy chuckled a bit. "No. No, that was just... intuition," he said, a brief pause before the last word. Harry looked at him questioningly, seeing in his face that there was more to it that he wasn't saying, but decided not to push it more. He didn't even know if he wanted to know what that was quite yet.

He yawned softly, the panic attack taking a lot out of him.

"You should sleep. I'll see you tomorrow morning, okay?" Malfoy said, his voice still that soft, silky tone.

Harry nodded, slowly laying back down in the bed and closing his eyes, not even hearing Malfoy walk out the door before he was fast asleep again. 

He had no more nightmares that night, though one thing was bugging him in the back of his mind. 

When Malfoy turned to leave, Harry had almost asked him to stay.