iris | drarry

chapter 10

Harry woke up that morning feeling like absolute shit. He was sweating, his heart pumping fast in his chest. A wave of nausea hit him and he sat up, wrapping his arms around himself. He whimpered softly as the pain began to set in, his muscles aching and head pounding. 

Moving the covers off of him, he slowly made his way out of bed, grabbing his glasses and putting them on. Another flash of nausea had him running out his room and into the bathroom, barely opening the lid of the toilet before heaving.

There wasn't much of anything in his stomach; he couldn't honestly think of the last time he'd eaten a meal. This meant that he was mostly dry heaving, his stomach cramping. He whined over the toilet, breathing heavily. 

He needed something. Now. 

Remembering his invisibility cloak, Harry created the plan in his head to get some more pills. He flushed the toilet and stood up shakily, feeling lightheaded. He grabbed the handle of the bathroom door, opening the door and nearly stumbling out of it. 

A pair of large hands grabbed his shoulders, steadying him. 

"Woah, Potter. Easy."

He looked up into stormy grey eyes, nearly groaning. He wasn't going to be able to leave to get more pills now. The eyes slowly became more concerned as they looked over Harry's face, then eventually down his body. 

He slowly became more and more aware that he didn't wear a shirt to bed. Or pants. So here he was, in his underwear in front of Draco Malfoy of all people. He felt his face heat up, his arms crossing over his chest. 

"You- My god, you're so small-" Malfoy said softly.

Harry looked down at his body, seeing the outline of his ribs, his stomach sunken in, his bony arms not covering much. He also had various scars and bruises scattered around his body, no doubt making him look worse. He hadn't even realized how small he'd gotten. 

After he'd stopped living with the Dursley's, he'd gained some weight and was the healthiest he'd ever been, but now...

"This is how I normally look," Harry lied, looking back up at him. 

Malfoy scoffed. "No, Potter, it's not. Trust me."

He just rolled his eyes, trying to move past him. 

"Woah, woah, you're not going anywhere. You look like you're about to pass out," Malfoy said, guiding him over to Harry's bedroom. 

He groaned. "I don't need your help. I'm fine. I was going to go to class-"

"You don't have class for another hour. McGonagall gave me a copy of your schedule. We're going to breakfast, and you're going to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Bullshit."

It was true. Harry did feel like his stomach was caving in on him. It hurt, actually, but something about that pain distracted him from the internal pain. He didn't respond, silently allowing himself to be guided into his room.

Malfoy let him go once he was inside, seeming content. 

"There. Now get changed. We don't want to be late," he said, leaving the room before closing the door behind him.

Harry groaned.

--

"Alright, go on, sit down," Malfoy said, sitting down at one of the long tables in the Great Hall as he motioned to the seat next to him. 

Harry was surprised at this. He would have thought the man would have wanted him to go off and sit elsewhere so he wasn't caught talking to him. He glanced around, not seeing very many people in the room. 

Figures, that's why he wanted to get down here so early, that way none of his friends would see him with you. 

He sighed softly, sitting down next to him. Draco had already put food on his plate and was eating contently. 

Harry looked at the enormous amount of food laid out on the table, grimacing. He reluctantly took some fruit and pumpkin juice as well as a small pastry. He picked at it, eating mostly the fruit. He started to feel full after only half his plate was done.

The more he ate, the less his stomach hurt, causing the pain that was there to shift internally. He closed his eyes, his hand clenching hard, nails biting into his skin. He focused on that sensation, the small bit of pain to distract from the rest-

"Oy, Malfoy, what are you doing with Scarface?"

Harry opened his eyes, looking up to see Blaise and Pansy standing across from them, Pansy with her arms crossed.

"I told you, Pansy, I'm living with him now. McGonagall's orders," Malfoy responded. His tone had changed, it was back to the sharp words Harry used to hear.

"I know, but why are you sitting with him? Bad enough you have to live with this wreck, you have to eat with him too?" she sneered, glaring at Harry. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. 

Malfoy glanced over at him, then back at Pansy. 

"Yeah, I know, right? Stuck on babysitting duty. Sorry, maybe we can hang out later if I don't have to care after this manky twit."

The words bit at Harry.

See? I told you he hated you.

Fuck, he needed drugs. He needed them now. 

He stood up quickly, his plate clattering as he bumped it. He climbed over the bench before turning and walking briskly away, not even looking in Malfoy's direction. He heard laughter behind him as he stumbled, crossing his arms as he ran out of the Great Hall. He fished his invisibility cloak out of his bag, throwing it over himself quickly.

He was lying to you last night. He will always hurt you because you deserve to hurt. 

He stopped in front of the portrait to his old dormitory, saying the password before slipping inside. 

Pathetic. Look at you, nearly foaming at the mouth for a bit of drugs.

He ran up through the common room and up the stairs into the bedroom. He reached Seamus's bed, kneeling down in front of the mattress. 

Wreck. Manky Twit. 

He lifted up the mattress, finding the same small bag shoved underneath. 

It's all your fault. Killer.

He grabbed the bag, opening it and taking out a small handful of the pills.

James. Lily. Cedric. Sirius. Dumbledore. Hedwig. Mad-Eye. Dobby. Remus. Tonks. Snape. Fred.

He immediately put a couple in his mouth, his shaky hands almost missing, not even checking what they were, or how many he had taken.

It should have been you. 

He sighed in relief as the pills went down his throat, pocketing the some more. 

Nobody would miss you. They want you dead for what you did. 

He shoved the bag back in its place and stood up, making his way out of the dormitory. Once out, he took the cloak off when no one was looking, placing it in his bag and starting to head back to the suite.

He was starting to feel better already, the voice in his head becoming quieter with each second. That is, until he opened the door to find Malfoy standing there, arms crossed.