Chapter 50: Blue

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2 weeks later

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2 weeks later

I tried to distract myself by focusing on the vibrant colours of the produce and the bustling market atmosphere, but my mind kept wandering back to Matteo. I wondered if he was okay. "Annika, look at these apples. They would make a good pie!" I interrupted my thoughts and turned to see Ruby holding a bag of fresh apples. The sight of them made me smile, momentarily forgetting my worries about him.

"Do you need anything else?" I asked as we walked along together. Matteo's men are close by, monitoring us. I felt relieved knowing that we were being watched. "No, I think we're good," she replied, looking around happily. My sundress swayed against the wind as we walked.

My eyes catch a stand with little baby shoes. I couldn't help but stop and admire them. Ruby noticed my interest and walked over with me. We both cooed over the tiny knitted shoes, imagining how cute they would look on a little feet. "Do you think you'll have kids someday?" Ruby asked, breaking the momentary silence.

The question caught me off guard, and I hesitated before answering. "I don't know," I finally replied. "It's something I've thought about, but with everything going on, it's hard to say." Ruby nodded understandingly.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" The old lady at the stand asked with a smile, interrupting our conversation. Ruby and I exchanged a glance before turning back to the old woman. "Oh, we're just looking," Ruby said politely.

The old lady chuckled. "Nonsense. I have been a midwife for 30 years, and I know when I see someone carrying." The old woman pressed her hand to my stomach and said, "It's a boy. I can feel it." I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm, even though I wasn't pregnant. I can't be.

Ruby gave me a sympathetic look as the old lady spoke. "Here, take this. It's a gift." She passes me a pair of little blue knit shoes with white pom-poms on the toes. They were adorable, but I didn't know what to do with them. "Thank you," I said awkwardly, not wanting to offend the kind woman. "You're welcome, dear. It's never too early to start preparing for a little one," the old lady said with a wink.

"They're lovely. But I can't accept." I said, feeling guilty for taking something that I knew I couldn't use.

The old lady's smile faded a little, but she didn't seem upset. "It's alright, dear. The future is uncertain. But trust me, I know." Her words hit me like a tonne of bricks. Ruby and I thanked her again before continuing on our way. As we walked, I couldn't help but think about the little blue shoes in my hand.

I knew that the old lady was right about the future being uncertain. My mind wandered to all the possible scenarios that could play out in the next few years. Would I be ready for a baby? Would I be a good mother? These thoughts swirled around in my head, making me feel anxious and overwhelmed. But as I looked down at the little blue shoes in my hand, I felt a sense of hope. Maybe one day I will be ready for them. Maybe one day I will be a mother.

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