Repeat After Me: I Am A Huge Asshole

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Chase.

I was so fucked.

It had only been twenty four hours since our blow out and it's all I could think about. I blew it in dryland this morning mainly thanks to not being able to sleep last night. If she would just listen to me she would understand. She actually thought I rejected her. That I didn't want her? How could she see so blind. I knew she was angry at me in the kitchen yesterday morning, at least I thought I did. She was actually humiliated. I knew now how it looked. When she looked up at me she saw my clenched jaw, muscles straining to control themselves. Of course I couldn't look her in the eye. Every time I looked at her it was a struggle between wanting to apologize a million more times for the bruises that xtood out against her pale skin and wanting to do the dirtiest things I could think of. But she was so fragile. I knew she wasn't ready to have sex with me, and certainly not after what Will did. But she wanted me. I wanted her just as bad if not more, but I was trying not to push her. I pushed myself instead to keep it easy and simple with her. After seeing the look on her face Thursday, the way she blew up at Wyatt, I didn't want to make her feel like she owed me anything or to go too far with me to make herself feel better about what happened.

It all made sense as soon as she laid it out, but I was too late to realize how much damage was done. I cared about her too much to let her hurt herself, or do something she would regret. I was trying to give her space. Instead I made her feel like I didn't care about her at all once she was starting to feel okay again. The thought I regretted her because she had emotional and now physical baggage and I all but kicked her out. I knew I should have just talked to her, but she would never tell me she's not okay. Shes too stubborn.

I'd hoped she might finally answer me after John called her with the news, but I ended my own phone call with him twenty minutes ago and had heard nothing yet. The only reason I knew she was alive was because Olivia and Cass were back home with her, providing updates. I was still worried about Will showing up there, but I knew Willow needed some space. Olivia had actually banned me from the house temporarily. Willow didn't tell her much, but I told her everything. Never in my life did I think I would be the kind of guy who chased down a girl's friends just to hear about her. I had to put in almost as much work with her friends as I did with her. It was new to me, but also nice to see that she had some real friends. I jjst hoped they wouldn't take it out on Callum and Owen. Somehow everyone in their house wound up dating someone from our house nd both houses were respectively best friends.

I shook my head and groaed in frustration. My hair stuck up wildly from running my hands through it repeatedly. I was supposed to be getting showered and ready for class, but I had other plans. I could miss one more class. I dug my phone out of my pocket, dialing Wyatt's number. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey Andrews,". Another thing I never thought I'd see was not only having a conversation with Wyatt Birkett, but also the fact that he wasn't as much of an asshole as I thought. He was actually working to be civil with me.

"Hey. The lawyer called today, we have court Thursday nine A.M.. You're welcome to come if you want,'.

"Well that explains some things. Your coach will be getting an email today. Game is going to be rescheduled due to a 'team related conflict'"

"because he doesn't want to have to face us on the ice-"

"Knowing he has court the next day.". He finished the thought for me.

"Whatever, it's probably better that way. Any word of it yet'

"He told Kyle he was served a restraining order, said he messaged Willow once and she over reacted, that's it. He may have a lot of friends on the team, but they're more afraid of me than they like him. I don't know if they would have the balls to keep it from me if he told someone. How is she?'

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