After losing his daughter so many years ago Joel put walls up, preventing himself from feeling that pain and loss. From caring for someone else.
But whenever Tommy disappears and He needs a new battery in order to find him. Joel and Tess find themse...
(I decided after much deliberation to split the final chapter into two. Even though it means this one will be shorter I just feel like it would be wrong to continue writing the story after all that's gonna be said in this chapter. It's really heavy and dark with discussion of a lot of feelings . It just didn't feel right to me to have them talk about this stuff and then follow it up with them reading stuff from a joke book. So please enjoy this incredibly depressing chapter that has a lot of bonding in it too. Then my next update will be the last one until season two comes out )
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TW mentions of suicide, sell harm and dark thoughts
Bonnie stared down at the structures below her, mind wandering elsewhere. She had asked Joel to give her some time to herself before they continued on their journey which he happily agreed too. The breeze swept through her hair which she found helped to ground herself.
She couldn't help but feel embarrassed. She had a mental breakdown in front of Joel, she hit him, screamed at him. It wasn't the first time and Bonnie was sure it wouldn't be the last. But that didn't make it any less embarrassing.
Bonnie flinched ever so slightly as the door behind her opened. She didn't bother to turn around just continued to rest against the ledge of the building.
"So, you um, feelin' better?" Joel asked as he stood beside bonnie, making sure to leave room between them. "Uh yeah. Sorry about-" "you don't have to apologise I told you that before" "right sorry" she could feel Joel looking at her, but she refused to meet his eye.
He stared for a moment calculating his next sentence in his head. "Look, I don't know exactly where this hospital is-" "we can find it" Bonnie cut in and he nodded at her, watching the girl glance at him slightly. "Sure. It's just- maybe there's nothin' bad out there, but so far there's always been somethin' bad out there." "You're not afraid are you?" She asked finally meeting his eye.
Joel paused almost as if to think about his answer. "No" he lied "I'm only saying there's risk. We don't have to do this. I just want you to know that" Bonnie turned to fully face Joel , scrunching together her eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean? What else would we do?" "Nothin'. We just go back to Tommy's we forget about the whole damn thing."
Bonnie looked down at her feet, thinking over the offer, she so desperately wanted yes, to forget about the whole thing. To leave the scary unpredictable outside world behind and go back to the horses and the people and Payton. She wanted to give up, she was so tried and sore. She just wanted this nightmare to be over.
But she knew she couldn't. "No" she stated firmly, looking up at Joel again. "After all the shit that has happened after all we've done, the people we've killed, people we lost, it would all be for nothing if we gave up. I can't do that, It can't be for nothing. I won't let it be."
