Bare Soul

It is what it is

It is what it is

Dad,

You know. When it comes to you I don't know how many times I've cried.

I just kept getting hurt by you over and over.

And it doesn't stop. It hasn't stopped.

I continue to keep getting hurt by you.

You continue to be a hurtful person.

It really makes me angry.

It makes me not want to forgive you.

It makes me not want to love you.

It makes me not want to have anything to do with you ever in life.

But what is that going to do for me?

What is me being angry going to do?

What is me being sad going to do?

It could bother me 24/7, while it bothers you none.

While my pillows would be soaked with tears, yours are as dry as deserts.

I understand you.

I've always been trying to understand you.

And I've accepted that you are who you are.

And I can choose the way I deal with you selectively.

I would've loved experiencing a father and daughter dance with you.

I would've loved for our bond and our relationship to be stronger. And much better than what it is.

I still love you. You're my dad. That'll never change.

So, I'm releasing the me that gets angry at you for being you.

I'm relaxing the me that wants to hate you sometimes.

I'm releasing all parts of myself that'll only mean me no good.

I'm just going to accept that it is what it is. -J.S.