The Twenty Year Triangle

Chapter Ten

My room looks like it did when I was sixteen; clothes are strewn everywhere. I have changed nearly a dozen times, and I'm standing in a damn towel with no clue what to wear.

What does a newly single woman in her thirties wear out these days? It's been ages since I've been out, and I'm more anxious than excited about it. In Eastland Heights, I had no one to go out with.  I tried doing girls' nights with coworkers a few times but found out they only talked about work all night.

I never understood why Julian liked partying with his coworkers so much. I hated it, and because I went a few times, they kept asking, and I had to make excuses till they stopped. So horribly awkward. 

Honestly, the only girlfriend I ever enjoyed going out with was and still is Brandi. Let me disclaimer that, usually, enjoy going out with. She's pulled me into more than one bad situation, and we've had a couple of major fallouts, but she's the person who got me to come out of my shell, and she's someone I can be real around.

I was folding a sock when I realized my marriage was over. Talk about anticlimactic, right?  But that's when it hit me. Sitting on the bed, folding a sock, which by the way, I thought was silly. The underwear drawer is meant to be a mess, but Jules likes them folded. So, I was sitting there wondering how many damn socks I folded over the years. Knowing he never thanked me even once, I said, I think I'm over this. I think it's over.  

When that thought hits you it's like a bullet and I needed someone to talk to that night.  Brandi was the first person I thought of. I chewed her ear off, and she sat and listened. She didn't judge me for one second, and she didn't offer me any advice either. She let me work it out on my own and just provided an ear. I'll forever be grateful to her for that. 

I survey the pile of clothes all over my bed, the problem is that all my outfits from the past decade just aren't my style. Julian felt my look was 'too country' for Eastland Heights and encouraged me to dress more conservatively and modern. He was right; I wasn't moving up any ladders in cowboy boots and frilly skirts. But still, it was just one more thing that made me feel like I didn't fit into this world he wanted for us.

I make my way to the chair where I'd tossed a bunch of old dresses hanging in my closet. I pick up a dress from the pile and let the silky fabric run through my fingers. I suddenly realize what  dress it is as my eyes fall on the red and white flowers. I had shoved it way back into the depths of my closet, far from my sight, but I must've pulled it out in my haste. I sit down on my soft carpet as I grasp it. Unable to hold back the memories it brings.

"You're shaking! Are you cold? Here" He shrugs off his coat and hands it to me. 

"Thanks." I feel an instant warmth as I shrug it on.

"Why are you wearing a summer dress in January?"

"You're the one that picked the barn," I point out.

"And look at this setup!"

"You did great." I am impressed. I never expected to walk in and find the barn swept out and cleaned up. A hay bale sits in the corner with two quilts over it, and next to it is an old crate that was set up with a picnic basket of food, a bottle of strawberry wine, and two glasses.

"You shouldn't have done all this, actually," I say with a sheepish look. "I gotta admit, I got your note and threw on the first dress I saw and ran out here."

He laughs, "I didn't do as much as you think. I grabbed the food and wine off the counter from my mom's New Year's party on my way out the door, the blankets were in my trunk, and it didn't take long to sweep the barn."