Lovesick // TOMORROW X TOGETHER [TaeBin / SooKai]

Chapter 20 - The playground is filled with all my lies

Song Recommendation for this Chapter: "What Was I Made For?" by Billie Eilish

The playground consisted of a climbing scaffold, a seesaw and two swings that were placed to perfectly overview the whole play area. Taehyun and Soobin made themselves comfortable on the swings and let the silence engulf them both. Taehyun only felt the distance between them getting bigger and bigger. It was time to change that.

"And that's the notorious playground you talked about." Taehyun stated and overviewed the place, hoping that Soobin would start catching up on the topic. He just hummed in agreement.

Taehyun sighed inaudibly in frustration. He was rarely frustrated even in times of stranding in the middle of nowhere or when forced to hang out with someone really noisy. But Soobin's state really frustrated him.

He started to act somewhat similar to Yeonjun, but without the obvious rage inside him. Everytime he asked him if he was okay, Soobin only responded with a lazy lie. He was a bad liar, but now it didn't even seem that he was trying to sound convincing.

"Soobin?" Taehyun softly called out his name. Soobin still had his eyes locked at his hands that were fiddling with each other in his lap, when he hummed again. He calmly rocked back and forth on the swing other than Taehyun, who didn't take advantage of his seating choice at all.

"Is everything okay with you?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." Soobin spoke quietly. His gaze was fixated on his fingers.

"Soobin." Taehyun's tone got more strict but was still soft. That change of tone made Soobin look up at him.

"Usually, I know every thought you are thinking." He spoke, making Soobin's heart beat faster with fear.

Taehyun's expression changed to the face that Soobin saw when he first woke up at the hospital back then.

"But now it feels like I know nothing." Taehyun said and examined Soobin's face. Soobin kept quiet. Now Taehyun was the one looking at his hands.

"I always thought I seemed outgoing enough for you to tell me your burdens. If I failed at that then I'm sorry."

Soobin was shocked at that statement. How could he think he wasn't trustworthy enough for Soobin to tell him his problems? Was there even anyone besides him to whom Soobin could share his concerns with?

Actually...

"Why would you say that? That's not true at all." Soobin exclaimed with a quiet voice, scared to disturb the empty playground.

The only reason why he couldn't tell Taehyun his current issue was because it would hurt their relationship. It would hurt Taehyun and it would destroy their trusting bond between each other. But Soobin couldn't tell him even that. He was afraid to lose him. He was afraid to lose his love.

Taehyun looked at the palms of his open hands. He stared at them as if to find the right words in the lines carved into his hands.

"I had an argument with Kai."

Soobin looked at him with wide open eyes, shocked. Taehyun seemed so serious with it, that it was obvious that it was more than just a playful fight. He wondered what they could have been arguing about, but his heart made him realize that their argument would make things even more difficult than they already were.

"Why?" Soobin only said, unable to form more words but relieved that it was enough for Taehyun to understand. Taehyun only shrugged his shoulders, but still made the effort to say something.

"You are important to him, do you know that?" Soobin gulped at that sentence. Does he know that? Does he reciprocate those feelings?

"Just like him I want you to be okay. After what happened before the summer, I always thought that you must have suffered something from the accident. Not quite physically, but mentally."