My Online Diary~♡

June 7th, 2015

Dear Journal-Chan,

Boy, has this weekend been L-O-N-G! It already feels like I'm on summer vacation! Luckily we only have a week and two days left and I only have a math and science exam to study for cuz the rest of the finals are just projects!! So here's what's going on in my life at this point:

1) My WiFi shuts down at exactly 10:17 pm each night on my iPad; which means no tumblr, instagram, or kik after 10 pm! F-M-L! How can I do my late night rp's now?! Or explore my feed when I can't sleep at night?!

2) Today I had my graduation from SSE which is a program I've been a part of. After it was over, my mom told me to give the gift we got to my teacher. I was going but he was rushing out the door and I didn't know if I should stop him or not cuz he seemed like he was in a hurry but my mom just shoved me and it kinda hurt ;-; she made me run over to him and hand him the gift, and afterwards said that I'm really slow and quiet all the time and I really need to change. So me being the sensitive one...that just hurt my feelings because every day I feel as if she reminds me that everything about me sucks and that I just need to change completely so everyone can actually like me ,_, And for me, usually when one sad thing happens, it triggers every sad thing in my life. So after she scolded me, I ran into the bathroom, locked myself in a stall, and started crying. After a few minutes, my best friend came to see where I went and she found me in the bathroom and she kept begging me to come out but I stayed in there for about 20 minutes. I forced myself to stop crying and everything was fine, sort of, until she asked me, "Hey, are you okay?" and that just made me break down into tears right in front of her and she kept telling me that I could talk to her and everything but I just shook my head and refused because I hate talking about my feelings unless it's someone I trust. And don't get me wrong, I trust her so much, but I just needed a little time to recover. I felt so stupid crying in front of her like that and she hugged me and stuff and omg ;-; I continued to cry on the whole car ride home and then her mom got worried so we stopped at a park and her mom talked to me privately on a bench and I still refused to tell her how I felt or what was wrong.. so after a while of silence she asked me if I like my life and I said "no" as forcefully as I could as I was crying and omg that's the legit truth I hate my life so much like .-. I just wanted to drown in the lake that was in front of us..and after we finally got home I couldn't stop crying till like 9 pm it was so freakin' horrible ugh >.< well I'm gonna go work on my fanfic now to make myself feel a little better.

signing off~