My Online Diary~♡

July 24th, 2017

Dear Journal-Chan,

Okay seriously that is pretty cringeworthy xD but it's how I started all my entries so I'm gonna keep it, spare me please.

Anyways, holy mackerel it's been almost a year since I updated this thing. I wish I updated it more often cuz a few nights ago I was reading through the old entries and I got all nostalgic and was glad that I recorded special/interesting events that took place in my crazy life.

I'm just gonna go right on ahead and ramble to the point since I've got a bit on my mind.

I was bored one night so I decided to re-read Raine's Unlucky 23 book. Man did it bring back memories. I have no idea why but my brain blanked out and I didn't recall any of those events until I read the book. Maybe it's for the best. The past held some unforgivable truths and horrid things that I probably wished to forget and so I did. Anyways, thinking about the past isn't good either way, but reminiscing the good times is nice. 

Like the time it took Austin, Brendin, Emily and I almost an hour just to say bye to eachother, the collage we made of our characters, the YACs and crazy RPs we had, and our first meetings.

Especially Austin and I...

There's another story. So, I've liked him since I met him. I'm not exactly sure when loving him as a best friend turned into loving him as more than one happened, but I've never stopped thinking about him even when he left for a year. 

And now, I feel like it's perfect, cuz after 4 years, he finally told me that he liked me too, and I seriously couldn't have been happier.

So, uhm, I really hope she doesn't see this, but Austin dislikes a certain person we all know and he makes it kind of obvious now. So since that person kept messaging him I told him to just pretend like he likes someone else to annoy her, and I said it didn't have to be anyone specific but he said he wanted that, and when I asked who he's gonna pick, he said me. And boy did my heart forget how to beat normally. It was literally pounding in my chest and I couldn't stop smiling,, like this is what i've wanted for four freakin' years man. 

When he made the confession in the group chat, I was literally shaking so much. It felt so real even though we were pretending, and god it was the best feeling ever.

And soon, these "pretending to like each other" thing became real. And I am so incredibly happy.

I'm glad he came back. So glad...I really needed him. 

Oh, that reminds me, I should talk about a certain asshole so my future self can go back and say "oh yeah omfg" haha.

The whole story revolving fushimi._.saruhiko being wine.and.blood. I won't go into detail cuz I dont wanna think bout him, and I'm sure my future self will remember most of the details because this is something I just cannot ever forget. 

This world is full of cheaters and assholes, and in this generation it's probably the worst. Loyalty is so rare and people are just fucked up and end up changing for the worse and not the better. If it weren't for my close friends, I would've given up on love entirely, but of course there are special and rare loyal cuties like Austin. <3 

Lord IM GETTIN TOO CUTESY AND ROMANTIC IM SORRY. BUT I REALLY LIKE HIM OK. HE'S PRECIOUS. AND DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING GOOD IT FEELS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND?? LIKE YOU'RE ALReADY HELLA COMFORTABLE WITH EVERYTHING AND IT'S NICE AF.

this is getting kinda long so imma stop here and update later. i really hope i have motivation to finish my fics again cuz i really wanna get them done.

OH YEAH AND, I REMEMBER SAYING IN A PREVIOUS ENTRY "i can't believe im a junior!!"

WELL GUESS WHAT, I'M IN COLLEGE NOW. HAHA IM SO OLD JFC. 

ANYWAYS, I GOTTA GO NOW. TTYL.

Signing off!~