2am (Billie eilish bxg)

Later on, that beautiful night

(A/N: From now on I'll put text messages in italics also this is mostly filler hopefully you enjoy it anyway though. )

After my shower I feel like I have nothing to do. I wander around my house aimlessly thinking about how empty it feels. What am I missing? I go downstairs to get some tea. After I get myself a glass of tea I head up to maybe write a little. Haven't been working on the book a lot recently, I've been so distracted with side projects and my new passion of music etc. I open up word and I'm greeted by the same old story.

I write a few pages which I think are mediocre and immediately delete. I used to be able to write because I was sad but now I'm not as sad. What is sad is that I have to make myself sad in order to be good at something. Was I ever good at it to begin with? Self doubt hits me and I turn off my computer. I head over to my bed and decide to start a new series on Netflix to kill some time. I'm usually very disciplined but today I just let episode after episode play not bothered to look at my phone which admittedly has vibrated a few times since I set it down. I don't really care if it's not her anymore.

After the show gets old I decide to go for a walk like I did that night I saw her the sun has since set and I'm just waiting for the clock to hit 9 p.m and that "we're outside" text we usually party later into the night so I know I have a little bit of time left. I get a hoodie on grab my earbuds and setup a new playlist. I basically wrote a script which compiles audio files of new Juice Wrld Iann Dior and the Kid Laroi leaks and automatically makes a playlist of them. "These are so fire"

I pet Lilith before promptly exiting. What a beautiful night it is. I head over to the park to walk around for a little bit maybe clear my head. At this point I still haven't even checked my notifications. I'm not usually scared of rejection but something's telling me billies not too pleased with me. I push those thoughts away and pay attention to the song. I lose myself for a second and don't even realize I've been walking down a new trail for a nice little bit. This is worrisome, I have no idea where I am. How long has it been? I guess the only way to go is back.

I turn around and go back the way I came in hopes of being able to make it out rather soon about 30 minutes have passed and I didn't even realize it. I look down at my phone and see that I have a message from her. I guess here's the part where she says it's best we don't see each other anymore I think to myself and hopelessly open my messages app and hover over her contact I click into it to see what she said.

Sorry, I was kinda mad earlier I'm not really the jealous type but you got me feeling some type of way

Woah, this is the exact opposite of what I was expecting. I can never be 100% sure with this girl and idk if I like that or not. I definitely had a phase where I went after the "bad girls" and I enjoyed the adrenaline rush and having to constantly worry about what was going to happen but as I get older I kinda want to calm down.

No it's okay, I get it. I've never been the type to be jealous either but you got me feeling some type of way

I smile and I sigh a breath of relief knowing that I still have a chance with her. Idk why I got so attached anyway things can go bad at any moment but for some reason I want to be vulnerable with her. I'm approaching the exit and the glow of the street lamp is now in view. I'm invigorated now and I hurry home to get a quick shower. I still haven't heard back from her yet but now that things are okay I'm not worried anymore. I run home and get in the shower.

Once I'm done with that I blow dry my hair since there's no time for it to dry by itself.

Yo, what's the attire looking like?

I ask in the group chat as I'm unsure if we're going to a dress required club
Nice but not too nice yk we're not going anywhere special.

I get a pretty prompt reply from Adam

Bet

Bet

Yo Steve I'm on my way for you

Bet

I read these messages and get myself dressed I opt for an all black outfit since I don't really want to stand out but I also think about how I might stand out by not trying to stand out if that makes sense now I'm overthinking it. I decide I'm just going to follow through with it and wear all black.

Yo josh we're on our way

Bet

I lay back on my bed with my legs still on the ground and just scroll through Instagram seeing all the support on my most recent post. Hopefully that yacht realtor will respond soon it would be pretty sick to take a little trip on a yacht with some few friends. Maybe I'd even get to invite her.

Yo Y/N we're about 5 minutes away

                                                                                          Bet

I text my website developer to setup a payment processor and a checkout page. I quote the video web course at 1,000$ with the first 10 people getting it for half off. He lets me know he can handle that and I pay him for his time. After that I go downstairs to exit my house since I'm more than certain they're right around the corner. I turn off all the lights pet Lilith and step outside.