Joshua's Grace

Chapter 3 (3)

"There's no need to grease up to me." She muttered gloomily. "I'm going home." She let out a loud sigh, then her eyes caught Craig in the crowd. He was laughing. He looked happy. He had been kind to her as a child, always happy to play with her and her sisters. Even as a little boy he had been compassionate and thoughtful, when it came to her family. She took a breath, "But there is something I owe Craig." She handed her glass to Zac, he refilled it and handed it back to her. She took a sip and then said, "Are you sure about Craig and Lysette?"

"Yes. She thinks Joshua is available."

Grace frowned in thoughtful consideration. It had all seemed so simple, all she had to do was turn up and give the impression that Joshua was with her. She had apparently been very convincing at the wedding. And, if she was honest with her self, she wanted an opportunity to see him again. Stupid, stupid woman, she castigated herself. Anyone with an ounce of common sense would have steered well clear of this triangle, but then, just recently she didn't seem to possess much common sense at all. Why else would she have come to a party that she knew would be out of her league? Why had she gone to all that trouble to get ready? She had wanted to look good, and that wasn't for Lysette's benefit. The reason she was at this party was simple; she wanted to see Joshua again. She had never chased a man in her life, and after this debacle, she wasn't going to do so ever again. Never, ever, again. Grace finished her glass of water. No sign of the queasiness she'd felt earlier. She rested her hip against the wall and looked forlornly at Zac.

"I don't think this is going to work." She told him softly.

"It can." He corrected gently, not quite sure how to handle her. She seemed to be on some sort of personal roller coaster. Up one minute, dejected the next.

"He doesn't like me." She replied quietly, wrapping her arms around herself as the words he had thrown at her resurfaced in her mind.

"He doesn't have to." Zac was worried about her. She seemed so vulnerable, and he really didn't want her to get hurt. Somehow he knew his older brother was responsible for a great deal of the pain she was striving to hide. " We just want Lysette to get the idea that you two are a bit of a long term thing." 

"And my being here won't accomplish that." Grace informed him as she surreptitiously wiped away a tear that was threatening to fall. She couldn't cry, not here, and not now.

"It will if you are convincing." He encouraged softly. "Fat chance."

"Hey." He turned her to face him, "What happened to that gutsy woman I know?"

"Gutless more like it." She amended woefully, a forlorn smile banishing her urge to cry. She had come here intending to create an impact, to make Joshua notice her and she was leaving like a dog with his tail between its legs, all because he had told her she didn't belong. And he was right, she didn't belong here. Not with these people, not in this neighborhood and not with him. She could see that now.

Now after she had made a total fool of herself. She flicked a derisory glance at her clothes. What a waste of money she thought as she dusted off an imaginary bit of fluff.

Zac smiled at her gently, he had watched a play of emotions flit across her eloquent jet eyes and he knew her resilience was crumbling. Matter of factly he suggested "Just hover around him, look possessive or something." The little lost-puppy-dog expression was back. The last time he had used that expression she had seen through him and laughed, he hoped she would laugh now.

"If I hovered, he'd probably swat me like a fly."

There was silence asZac took in the vehemence in that statement and Grace contemplated her nextmove. Grace watched Joshua as he talked to a group of friends. He was smilingat them, they were smiling in return. Someone must have said somethinghilarious, for the smiles turned to laughter. She was an outsider looking in.It was like a rerun of a scene she had long buried. Standing on the outsidelooking in. Watching, waiting, hoping. She had put all that behind her, or soshe thought. And until today, she would have said it was all in the past. But, standing by the window, watching Joshua and his friends, she knew she was far from over feeling like an outcast. Once again she was being ostracised. The anger of past injustices mingled with the rudeness she had endured this evening, both merged to swell in a tidal wave of injured outrage.