Joshua's Grace

Chapter 14 (1)

Grace and her parents left for Whangamata the next day. Sasha was going to drive up from Wellington during the week, and meet them there. There was no phone at the family bach and for two weeks, Joshua neither heard from, nor saw, Grace. Why hadn't she phoned? Not even a call on Christmas day. He'd hoped she'd call. But she hadn't. If he knew where the bach was he would have driven down. He was like a bear with a sore head, at least, that was the way Mariah described him to Steven. He snapped, talked when he had to, and scowled for the most part.

Grace was equally unhappy. But if they were going to split up she didn't want to make things harder than they already were. By the time she and her parents had left for Whangamata she had convinced herself that his kisses in front of the house had been to keep up appearances.

"You want to talk about it?" Sasha asked, the day before they were all due to head back to Auckland. It was obvious to Sasha, and her parents, that Grace had been preoccupied for most of their holiday. Grace agreed to all their plans, but, unlike her normal self, didn't suggest or modify any. So, in cahoots with each other, Ben and Angie had disappeared into town almost ten minutes ago, leaving Sasha to work on her older sister. 

"Have you ever been in love?" Grace braced her elbows on the balustrade of the deck and looked out across their small garden.

Sasha grinned, "First with Jimmy Hirtle, I think I was six. Then of course there was Nick Tarant, but he was going steady with Aroha Weihepena. So I only fancied him at a distance. I think Sean Marsh was next, he of the gorgeous grey eyes, but he only looked at Bri, then Reed Hunter, he was cute, good kisser too, but it turned out he was gay. Oh, I forgot, Neihana Ardson, I drooled over him for weeks, until I saw him kissing Ariel. Do you remember her? She had breasts when the rest of us were still wondering what we had to eat in order to develop." Sasha grinned, "Oh, my biggest crush was on Danny Sinclair." Sasha came and stood beside Grace, but leaned her back against the wood as she faced their the French doors.

Grace chuckled half heartedly, "I'm not talking about crushes. I mean have you ever really been in love?" She glanced across at Sasha, and wondered whether this was the right thing to do.

Sasha pushed her hair off her face as she considered her sister's question. Then she shook her head, "No."

"I've never felt like this before." Grace sighed loudly as she stood turned and headed to the other side of the deck and began to look sightlessly out at the Harbour. It was a beautiful view, giving clear access to the headland and the estuary. But it was wasted on Grace that morning. She took a deep breath then said, "I love the man." She sighed audibly "I love him and it scares the living daylights out of me." She turned to face her sister, "I love him, even when he's a pain in the neck, prime time bossy grouch."

"Sounds like love. I've never seen him grouchy. It must be you." Sasha teased.

"What am I going to do Sash?" 

"I don't see what the problem is." Sasha strolled toward her sister and stood a few feet in front of her sister as she asked gently "Have you told him you love him?"

Grace pushed her hands through her already tangled hair, "Me?" She shook her head as she turned and braced her back against the rail that ran the length of the upper floor deck.

"Yeah, you." Sasha turned and headed for the bench and wooden seats, her voice gentle, calming. "Why not?"

"I know I love him, and I want him, desperately, but," Her voice petered out into nothing, leaving the sentence hanging in the air.

Sasha straddled the bench and sat on the old wooden seat. She looked straight at Grace, "But what Grace?" She prompted gently.

"What if he doesn't love me?" Grace asked and Sasha could see how much it cost her sister to voice her unease.