Joshua's Grace

Chapter 9 (3)

But she is very sensitive. Perhaps a mite too sensitive." Ben retook his seat and sat facing Joshua, "If anyone puts her through that again, they'll have me to deal with." He vowed succinctly just before he downed his warm flat beer. "So now you understand why Grace would never kiss a man -enthusiastically- I was told, in public. Let alone at a party like yours. To her it wouldn't be worth the risk. It would be inviting trouble. She was nervous when she left for the party. Wasn't really sure that she would fit in. So Angie and I were astounded when we heard she'd kissed you. In front of your friends."

Joshua felt his face suffuse with colour. From ashen to red in a few scant minutes, that was a first for Joshua. It puzzled Ben.

"I really didn't give her much of a choice." Joshua hedged.

"Grace hasn't got to her age without dealing with unwanted attention." Ben told him. "She considers herself a feminist because she has a choice. She is empowered." He sounded as if he had heard the words often.

"I kissed her." Joshua persevered adamantly. "There wasn't much she could have done about it."

"Yes, you keep saying that." Ben bridged his fingers, "So, you want to marry my daughter." It was a statement, rather than a question. His eyes pinned Joshua to the spot.

"Yes." Joshua reiterated. He maintained eye contact with Ben as he put his glass down on the table. He held the gaze of the man he envisioned as his father-in-law and made sure that his message was easily read. He found it easy to talk to him.

"Good luck." Ben stated, a mixture of euphoria and worry in his tone.

"I'm going to need it." Joshua spoke his thoughts aloud. "And I'm counting on you to help me." 

"'Course you can son." Ben grinned and patted Joshua's shoulder. "Come to lunch next weekend." Ben winked, before adding, "Grace will be here."

"You sure I should come?" Joshua sounded far from convinced about the merits of the whole thing. He felt he needed more time to come up with a fool-proof strategy. A week wasn't nearly long enough. She would still be spitting tacks, he was sure of that. She would be furious. Joshua knew that he needed to spend time with her. But if he went by his experiences with her to date, the probability of getting another date with her through normal channels was slim to non existent. The woman was too prickly, too unpredictable and far too stubborn to see sense. So he took the only option available. It was going to be problematic, he knew that. Just as he knew that she was going to fight him every step of the way. Even if she loved him, he knew this was not going to be smooth sailing.

"The sooner we get the campaign started the better." Ben announced, almost back to his normal jovial state .

"Campaign? Huh. I haven't even got a plan. That's why I came here."

"Just tell her you are getting married." He grinned and added "Then duck. The plan will take shape. Mark my words."

The two men looked speculatively at each other for a long time, before a smile finally broke through their contemplation.

"Cheers.' The chorused in unison as they settled back to enjoy their warm beers.

He wasn't there when Grace returned from her very long walk. She was relieved. She wasn't sure how she could ever face him again. But then perhaps she would not be seeing him again. They'd managed to not meet for thirty years of her life, she could cope with another thirty. She never wanted to see him, ever. 

It had taken a long time to calm down. Although, in reality she was far from calm. Last night, she finally acknowledged, had been a milestone in her life. Not for the reasons Joshua would have assumed, but because Grace had been startled by the extent of her love for him. The intensity of the desire she felt for him worried her. It had been a thunderbolt to realise she loved him. She loved that annoying, stiff- necked, obstinate, resolute man. Really loved him. She had admitted that much to herself earlier that morning, sitting on the doorstep looking away into the distance, she had suddenly realized she loved him.

She was nervous and scared. Never, never had she reacted to a man in that way. There had been no illusion of control. No control, just this feeling of living the moment with real candour and total certainty that it was the right thing to do. There had been no self discipline, something that she always considered the very fabric of her make up, but last night had been special.

It had been doubly hard to take when he had started to apologise for being part of that awesome experience. A commitment and love had been ignited by the very man who now wished he'd had no part of it, or her. She had mulled over the whole scenario, from the boat to their arrival at the cottage right through to the argument earlier this morning. She finally came to the conclusion that while he might regret last night, she didn't. It was very, very special. A night that she would always remember. With Joshua, she acknowledged, she had given full and free reign to the passion that existed within her.

Grace shook off her trainers and in her bare feet she padded into the kitchen to make herself some herbal tea. She was putting off going to the bedroom. Had he picked up her things or were they still strewn around the room, like they were this morning when she had crept out of bed and stealthily headed for the shower. She was slightly sore, but not overwhelmingly so, and the jet of sluggish but warm water removed faint stains of blood from her inner thighs. She had dried herself and found some clothes when she raided the linen basket of clothes waiting to be ironed. She didn't want to return to the bedroom. Not just yet. Too much had happened, and there was a lot to think about. With a cup of hot herbal tea she had headed for the back step, where Joshua had eventually found her. That was over eight hours ago.

Grace put the kettle on and waited, lounging against the breakfast counter. It was then that she noticed the little green light on the washing machine was on. It had completed the cycle. Grace peered into the front loader. Tumbled within its confines she recognised her bed sheet. Just the sight of the sheet had memories flashing back through her mind. Damn. How could this be happening to her? She'd been out with scores of men but had never wanted to sleep with them. And the ones she had considered had never offered and she had never been brave enough to seduce. Yet from the very moment she had met Joshua she knew there was something between them.

Suddenly, she buried her face in her hands. Not because she had slept with him, but because she had driven him away. Which man in his right mind would want to date a woman who couldn't handle a simple thing like last night without behaving like a shrew? Within minutes she developed a full blown head ache. Did she have to shout at him? Why, oh why couldn't she have demonstrated some maturity and sophistication? A small degree of either would have helped. All she had to do was act normal. Normal. Just talk to him, ask him if he wanted coffee, cereals or toast, that sort of thing. It wasn't hard. Instead she had opted for over reaction. It hadn't really been a conscious thing, it just seemed to happen, she couldn't help being defensive. The evening sky was a clear blue with the setting sun fanning golden red rays over the hills. But Grace saw none of this as she stared out of the kitchen window. She hadn't eaten all day, but she felt no hunger. It was almost four hours since she had stopped crying, and set about tidying up the cottage. Her eyes were red, her nose was sore and her head ached. But all that was better than thinking about the earlier part of the day. Every now and then she would remember last night and this morning and she would find herself working hard to stop the tears. As the hours passed she reviewed her ideals and reworked her values in very fine detail.