Joshua's Grace

Chapter 9 (2)

Joshua recalled the photographs he'd seen in Briar's bedroom. Grace as a twelve year old, with that grave expression. A twelve year old putting in at least a sixteen hour day. 

"She pleaded and pleaded. She argued and reproached and carped on and on until we agreed. Then she made sure that we never saw what an effort it was." Ben had tears streaming down his cheeks, but with his back to Joshua, his pride was still relatively intact. "The bus drivers were great. After a couple of months they saw the work she put in, she did her homework on the bus, and then she would have those buses spotless. She never does things by half that girl. The guys clubbed together and 'gave' her a travelling scholarship." Ben sighed, dashed the tears off his face, "But she's never been one for charity, she helped out in the office, or cleaned buses, or tutored those guy's kids for free, during her holidays. She still visits those old codgers. They even came to her graduation ceremonies. They are family. "

Joshua had run his fingers through his hair in agitation, what he really wanted to do was to scream at the whole scenario that was unfolding. But there was more to come. He just knew it.

"She's never really been a party person. Commuting never gave her a chance to really make friends at school. She's quite self-conscious because of that. She only ever went to one school social." Ben surreptitiously wiped away evidence of his tears and flicked a look at Joshua. "She's never had an opportunity to pick up the skills. She gets nervous at the very idea of going to large parties." He shook his head, "Though if you saw her at a party you'd never guess. But put her in front of students and it's another thing altogether." There was a sense of pent up anger, injustice and frustration in his words.

Some of the anger Joshua was feeling dissipated as he realized just how Ben must have felt at the time. How he felt about the situation, even today. The man clearly felt he hadn't provided well for his family. He wondered how he would have coped in Ben's situation. "So you moved?" He prodded Ben out of his despondent, sad recollections.

"Yes we moved here. A local bus goes past the school. This area wasn't really the affluent area it is now and at the time we put a caravan on the land and slowly built this house." 

Ben drained the beer in his glass and topped it up again. With a resigned sigh he resumed telling his story, knowing that he was going to exacerbate the fury that Joshua was trying so hard to conceal and control. He couldn't blame the man, even to this day, he felt he should have been able to provide for his family. And at least it confirmed what he had hoped: Joshua loved Grace.

"We weren't poor. Not really. We had food on the table, we were clothed and we had a roof over our head. But we didn't have much money. Angie and I both worked, but we were building here and paying off the cottage. That wasn't much, it isn't the place you see now. The girls have modified and extended it." Ben sipped his beer, reflectively pondering on the past. "Things were difficult and tough for a very long time. I'd say for most of Grace's school years. Things were tough. My daughters dealt with the lean times in different ways. Grace became independent. She adjusted clothes, revamped them, she made unique clothes and wore them with a sense of challenge. You've probably noticed that her taste in clothes almost shouts- so what?-" Ben took a deep breath, "It was only when I took the girls to school one morning that I realized what Grace had been up against for two years." His eyes misted again as he remembered, "We had this rust bucket of a car by then and I started to take the girls to St Hilds. Drop them off on my way to work." He looked over at Joshua, "I'd say the kids who attended St Hilds had your sort of background. Money wasn't a problem, large homes, well-to-do parents, expensive gadgets, clothes no problem." He stared away, lost in remembrance, "For the first two years, we came to the parent evenings and things, but it was always such a rush, either Angie or I would come up, we couldn't both do it, someone had to look after the girls." He paused, " But it never really sunk in. Until I took Grace and Briar to school."