Love

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It's been a week since he's been gone it's also been a week since I said I wanted to be in a relationship with Dua. It's a bittersweet feeling that I have because I'm still feeling like absolute garbage but another part of me couldn't be happier that dua and I are doing things I've always wanted to do with her. Like I told her I definitely have more than "like" feelings towards her. But Devin still isn't here and he never will be, I can't let go of that. Even worse his funeral is today so even if I was getting over it , it's all going to come back today.
I felt arms wrap around me.
"I know today will be rough but I'll be right next to you, not behind you or anywhere else, just right next to you" Dua says as she rests her head on my shoulder, I squeeze her arms with my hands so they could stay in the same place while I turn to face her
"That will help a lot thank you" I tell her with a soft smile and kiss her on the cheek
"We can do whatever you want after if you'd like or if you need to be alone I can leave for a while" she says with those deep brown worrying eyes, I quickly grab her face
"The last thing I need is for you to leave at all" I tell her and she removed her arms from my waist onto my face
"I will never ever ever leave you" she says while she looks to my eyes and to my lips where I suspect what will happen next but the door to my room opens and Dua quickly jumps onto the bed
"Ladies sorry for coming in so unannounced but it's time for us to go" Robbie says, I nod my head
"Don't worry we were just heading out" Dua says, he heads out and I quickly look at her with wide eyes. She gets up and gives me her hand to hold
"We should lock the room more often" she whispers in my ear
"You're right on that" I whisper back

We made it to the chapel, there are people I've never seen before but they are staring at me like they know me. I see the guy from the party but his name I had no idea of and I think I also see the ping pong guy but I don't remember. I see the girl who was into girls as well, she isn't with girl who got brutally beat by that guy, was she okay? Dua is doing as she says walking beside me not behind me. We begin to walk to the front where Robbie is but some guys pulls my hand. The guy from the party
"Can I have a word with you?" He says to me and looks to Dua who is staring at him
"Alone" he says
I look at Dua and nod to signal her that's it's okay for her to leave me alone with him even though I wasn't so sure of it. She walks away but not too far to where she can't see me.
"I'm Kip we've met before y/n is it?" He asks and pulls his hand out for me to shake
"Yea that's me" I say as I shake his hand
"I wanted to wait till after but it won't take long anyways, Devin was mad for you and he uh left this card for you" he says struggling to get it out of his back pocket
"Wait what" I tell him
"I don't know why he never told you and I don't know why he would leave the card with me it's almost as if he knew this would happen it has been driving me mad" he says teary eyed and starts walking away as fast as he could into the crowd
I stand here with no idea of what to feel because what I just heard didn't make one bit of sense. I look down to my hand at the card in an envelope knowing that he wrote this. Do i believe anything this guy just said? I hear foot steps coming towards me
"Is everything okay?" Dua asks but I don't respond, I do the same as the guy and walk away quickly to the front to where his casket is. Did I even know Devin? Was he acting so understanding because he was "mad" for me? Should I have been more inviting for him because me and him would be a normal couple? I felt the tears coming like a flood, to everyone it may just look like a friend crying for another friends death, but it wasn't because I was crying for someone I thought I completely knew when in reality I knew just a little about him.

I'm not going to be able to stay here to hear kind words about him so I decide to leave. I make it to the car and take a deep breath.
"Where are you going, What in the bloody hell happened " Dua says as she approaches me with shortness of breath because she was chasing me
"Devin was in love with me Dua he left this card for me and I just I don't know maybe I never was just a friend for him maybe I never knew him" I shout out
"You believe what that guy said? What if he's lying" she says grabbing my hands to calm me down
"I don't know I just need to get out of here now" I tell her
"I'm going with you, I know I said if you need to be alone I'll leave but you're not in okay condition to do that so you cannot deny me it" she says
"I want to take you where we won't be judged and I could love on you without being afraid" I tell her
"Im afraid only the room is good for that" she says
"No I know just the place and I believe I have enough money for a cab to get us there" I tell her but she looks at me worried
"I'm not manic I promise" I tell her to reassure her
"Never thought you were I just want to make sure you're actually okay" she says
"I will be if you go with me" I tell her and stick my hand out for here to hold and she takes it

"I don't know if I should even read this letter" I tell her as I play with it
"You don't have to but if you do and need support we can read it together" she responds, I look at her with a smile because that honestly would help out a lot
We get off the cab but make sure to put our sunglasses before going just in case anyone may know us. We still remain holding hands as we reach the door of the club. Dua looks around curious to know what is going on and what this place is because it's not your usual club. She's just how I was when I first came here.
"How do you know of this place" she asks me
"Does it matter?" I respond and she smiles because she realizes this is no ordinary place. The music shifts to a slow song
"Let's not waste time then" she says as she pulls me to the dance floor
She wraps her arms around my waist and I wrap my arms are her torso. And our bodies began to sway slowly to the rhythm of the song. I think I love her, this exact moment is telling me that I love her because that damn smile, how safe and warm her arms make me feel, the stare she gives me whenever she looks at me, I think she may love me too.
"What I got something on my face" she says
"Shut up and kiss me" I tell her she lets a small giggle out but kisses me right away. This kiss was different because even though it wasnt completely in public it wasn't in secret either. Everytime I kissed her it felt like glue because I was stuck on her and I didn't want our lips to depart from each other's. She was the first person I want to share new things with.  She didn't expect anything special from me she just appreciates my company and that made me the happiest I could ever be. We release each other
"Dua what does your name mean again?" I ask her
"Its Albanian, it means love why?" She asks
"Then I dua you Dua Lipa" I tell her and she smiles as big as she can
"I myself you too" she says

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I know it's a short chapter but next chapter might be extra long and full of conflict! Don't know if that's good or bad right? Lol. Thank you for reading as always :)

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