Two Summers

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It's been two summers since that summer...

I've dreamt about her almost every night. She's way harder to escape now because of how famous she is. It's funny, once I got back ,Cynthia, my roommate asked what I did for summer and I just said studied. She said she loved her summer because she discovered a new artist, guess who? Dua.

I planned to visit Madison during spring break but I mentally couldn't. We wrote to each other every week updating ourselves of how shitty life can be.

"Did you see what Dua lipa said today at the Grammys?" Cynthia says
"You're so obsessed but no what did she say?" I respond
"She dedicated her award to the queers" she says
"That's actually pretty cool" I say
"It is but now everyone thinks she's a lesbian especially after leaving that Robbie dude" she responds
"I'm not gay but even I would leave that Robbie dude" I say causing Cynthia to laugh

Part of me wondered if she has met anyone else, if she maybe had another homosexual relationship. If she even thinks of me anymore after what I did. If she hates me. Overall if she forgot about me.

"She's apparently having a tour and she's coming here can you believe that!" Cynthia exclaims
"If I cared yes but I don't so it's like she's not" I say causing her to look at me annoyed

The daily mail slides through our dorm door. I rush to it to see if Madison wrote anything. And she did like she always does but I still get excited about it. Nothing has really changed with both of us, still hopeless romantics. It's also because I haven't even tried to look for anyone, I'm sort of traumatized to talk to more people I don't know.

"You're like a dog running to the door like that" Cynthia says
"Whatever" I respond as I open the the envelope

Dear friend,
I don't even have anything to say, LA is full of shit as always. I know you're not out looking for trouble but god do I have news that may bring you to me! Dua is performing at your school. Weird right? I know you said to never mention the D word again but it's like destiny wants you two together. But hey you could come to me while she's there? Unless it's mandatory to be there. Yikes! But yea write me back as always. I'll write back soon!
-mads

"Shes coming to our school?" I say
"I was about to tell you before you ran to the door like a dog but yes a free concert and guess what!" She exclaims
"What?" I say
How worse can this get?
"It's a mandatory thing!" She screams

No no no. I can just drop out right? No I can't my parents will murder me. To be honest I'll be happy with dying, I've been wanting to die anyways.

Those months after leaving Dua were fuckin awful. I tried so many things in those months to block her away. My heart was physically breaking every minute, I was afraid that I would have actually died. I still care for her and of course I still got love for her but it's at a point where it's manageable but I don't know what seeing her again would do to me.

"Why is it mandatory? No one wants to listen to pop and then go back to class to be more bored" I say
"Something about bringing awareness to sexual stuff and stuff" she says
"What the fuck does Dua lipa have to do with that?" I say

I mean it. What does she have to do with that? Just because she's this big pop star now, what does she know about that? Honestly I stopped reading the news and just stopped listening to the radio so maybe she's different now.

Something I've never thought of is if she knows the real reason why I left. Did Rina tell her what happened? Is that why after I left she never tried to come for me? I wasn't expecting it anyways.

"It's next week, just volunteer for student security and you can be outside away from the beautiful noise" Cynthia says
"First good idea that has came out your mouth" I say
"You're stupid, I have to go to class I'll see you later" she says grabbing her books

I'm so jealous of Cynthia, being such a pure human being. Yea maybe she had problems but I don't think they were close to as bad as mine were. While I'm over here sinning the fuck out of life. I wish I was just a square, shit I even wish I had my virginity back too.

Once she left I went through her things to look for maybe a magazine or newspaper talking about Dua. I just want to know what has happened for her to be so big on this whole sexuality thing? Why wasn't she this way when we were together? A little too late isn't it?

I find a "Teen Beat" magazine.
She's on the cover of it. She hasn't changed one bit, she's still so beautiful. Those eyes, the puppy dirt colored eyes. That jawline I used to kiss. Finally her lips, the most kissable lips in the world. All these things, I'm sure people think the same as me when they see her. But they never did what I did with her, they'll probably never experience it. It's not like I'm happy it won't happen to them, it just sucks that I'll be stuck with all those memories. Memories feel like the devils weapons now.

I flip the page.

From Dua-
Truly music is my passion but ever since I began my career my goal was to make the world better. I've been friends with plenty of homosexual people and they're the sweetest most normal human beings. They aren't the scary people others describe, if anything they find you to be the scary ones, threatening their life and all. About my sexuality, it's not of your business.

I read it in her voice. But wow that actually made me very happy. I definitely understand why people do think she's lesbian though, I mean she is but that's a secret I guess I am to keep for her. Somehow there's still something connecting us isn't there?

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Hope you guys like the way this story is going 🥲 thank you for reading as always :)

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