And There Were Wolves

forty three | the other side of the door

In the heat of the fight, I walked away / Ignoring words that you were saying, trying to make me stay /

"Yet," I added, needing him to know that I was also trying. It wasn't easy for me to trust someone. It didn't matter if that person claimed to be my soulmate. "A part of me wants to trust you, but with everything that's been going on, I need time, Ry."

"Trust is not given, it's earned," he said in a quiet voice.

"Exactly," I agreed with him. "Give me time to know you better, too. Allow me some time to trust you."

For a few heartbeats, he didn't speak, and I stared at him with anxiety. Then he finally said, "Okay, but at least let me protect you. I know what's going on out there, okay? I know about your father killing the Night Walkers' Alpha and how they might seek retribution."

I swallowed hard, attempting to keep my emotions from showing on my face. Even though I was scared, I didn't want him to see that. "I'm fine." 

He looked at me for what felt like forever before he said, "Will you feel more comfortable if I have Miles following you around instead of Dmitry?" 

"I am fine," I reiterated again. "I don't need a babysitter." Plus, I had this superpower. Although I didn't know how to fully control it yet, I knew I could learn or damn well give it my best effort to try because every day it seemed that the power continued to show me what it could do. Today I learned I could make people believe what I wanted them to believe. Who knew what more it could do? 

"If you don't want Miles, then your last option is Dmitry or me." 

"You?" I scoffed. I had to admit, this was both unexpected 'and' funny. He had been ignoring me, pretending that I didn't exist, and now he wanted to be the one to follow me around. 

"Yes," he said with a frown. "Why? You don't think I am capable of protecting you? I trained Miles. I could probably do a better job than he could." 

"No, it's not that." I weighed my decision, whether I should tell him. Ultimately, I decided to come clean. Trust went both ways. "It's just that you've been avoiding me and pretending that I didn't exist and now you suddenly want to be the one to protect me." I gave him a pointed look and was ready to argue if he denied his action.  

"I was protecting you by not being around you so much," he carefully said. 

I laughed. I was straight out laughing because what he'd just said made no sense. "What does that even mean?" 

"I had a vision that I would hurt you, so I tried to keep my distance," he answered vaguely and I knew he was definitely hiding something. 

"What vision?" I asked. 

Ryker shook his head. His lips were shut tight like a flat line. 

I exhaled a frustrated sigh. "That doesn't help me trust you, Ry. Tell me everything. Trust me enough to tell me the truth, because if you don't trust me, how am I going to trust you?"

"I trust you, Xy." His eyes grew hard. "I just don't want to scare you." Ryker shook his head. "No, I don't want you to be scared of me." 

I frowned, feeling more confused than ever. "Why would I fear you?" 

Ryker looked as if I'd tortured him. He didn't answer me for a long while, but when he finally did, it surprised the hell out of me. "Because in that vision, I killed you." 

"W-what?" I stuttered. My leg wobbled, and I slipped off the stairs. I would hit the landing hard, but luckily, Ryker caught me just in time. He steadied me and only let me go once he was sure I could stand on my own. Although he still kept a close distance, just in case.