Kocoum x Reader (Y/n) FEMALE

Nine

Your breathing is quick, and you feel like you will pass out of the lack of oxygen. 

Someone was nearly killed because of you. Luckily, you had learned that the bloodied man wasn't dead, he was just beaten close to it. 

Your sitting on the floor of your tent, leaning your back to the post of the tent, and your knees to your chest. Tears are falling down your cheeks as you think about what had happened.

You feel like you can't think straight and all you want is Kocoum to hold you in his arms just to ease a bit of the pain in your chest. 

You feel selfish at the thought. How could you possibly want Kocoum to comfort you when one of Kocoums's people, his family, got hurt because you are too scared to return to your people?  

You stand to your feet, knowing what you need to do. You find the small table in the tent, on it, a pencil and paper. Your hands shaking, you begin to write a note to Kocoum.

You know if you alert anyone of your choice, they will alert him somehow, and he will try to come back. Hurting him kills a part of you, but if something were to happen to him, then that would finish you off. 

This way, when he finds out what has happened and where you have gone, you will be long gone then. 

There will be no one and nothing for him to find...

You tell him how much you care for him, how much you are going to miss him. How much this time meant to you, even though it was short and not nearly enough. That you need to do this, and to please, please please please not come after you. 

You fold the note and set it down, and you don't understand how, but more tears fall down your face.

You sneak out of the tent, taking the top of your hand and sliding it across your cheeks so they are dry. Looking around, you realize that no one is around, but a ton of people are by the fire. You are curious as to what is happening, but push it down where you can't find it. You need to get out of here before you change your mind.

Before he changes your mind...

You walk away from the camp, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath to try and control the pain that is flooding through you. You don't want to leave him... You want to stay in his arms, in his glance.

You know that leaving him will hurt him too and that almost hurts you more than anything. Knowing that he will return, learn that one of his own was almost killed and that you left. You just hope that the note that you wrote him will work. 

You watch the trees pass as you walk through the woods, knowing that this will probably be the last time you see these woods. 

Instead of spending these last few remaining minute thinking about the end, you decide to spend them thinking about everything good that has happened to you. 

You imagine yourself sitting in the tent just after spending a day weaving baskets. Your fingers are cramping as we walk in, and you are so excited for him. He smiles as you jump to your feet, wrapping your arms around his neck. He kisses the side of your head as he says, "I missed you too." 

You pull away to look at his face, making sure that he is okay. His eyes are bright as he pulls you into a kiss. His steady hands wrap around your waist, and you fade into the kiss.

Reality fades back as the kiss becomes everything, and you watch as the snow begins to fall as you walk farther and farther away from the camp, and closer and closer to the end.

But the end comes too quickly, and you can see your commander in front of you. The scene in front of you is kind of surreal. The snow is falling, the sun is setting behind him, and the wind is screaming. 

"Look who decided to show up." His voice... His voice haunts you every night before you go to bed. "I'm surprised it took you only one person to come back. I was expecting a few needed to go down before you came crawling back."

His words hit you right in the chest, causing your anger to flare. "Go to hell!" You voice shakes, but becomes powerful as you can feel your knees shaking. 

"There is that spark in you. I love it when you get angry, and I knew that this was the way to do it."

"By killing innocent people?" You want to kill him. Kill him for everyone he was hurt. 

"Innocent people?" He scoffs, and sounds almost annoyed. "Youve been with them for what? A week? And they have you convince they are innocent?" He almost laughs at the end.

You can't take any more of what he is saying. You know that one way or another you are not coming out of this, so you mise well make your time left worth it. "They are a hell of a lot more innocent than you! They are kind, smart, and gentle people, very unlike you! You are a monster!"

His face turns red then, and you know that you are in for it. But surprisingly, what comes out of his mouth next isn't what you think it would be. Instead, he says, "Enjoy your nap, your going to want the rest."

You don't get time to respond, or even think about what he said when your body slams to the ground and your vison goes black.