The Sweetest Thing (gxg)

Part 28

TW: This part has some context of SI (suicide ideation)

I wanted to talk more with Vivienne about where we officially stood when she got back- however I noticed that she seemed on edge. And I had a feeling I knew what it was about.

Vivienne had about a week until she had to start back up at school again, and I decided it would be nice if we went shopping together.

I knew that shopping would help her.

We walked around Nordstrom's together, and Vivienne said she wanted to get some button ups to wear.

"I'm going to need plenty of these for internships." Vivienne said, "My mother is planning on setting me up with a lawyer she knows this summer that I can intern with. Just the way I want to spend my summer."

Vivienne rolled her eyes and gently ran her hand on the sleeve of a blush colored blouse.

I decided that if she wasn't going to bring up our "status", I wouldn't either.

"I'm sorry, Viv." I said, "I know that is definitely not what you want to spend your summer doing."

"That, and starting up back at school in a week." she said, "I'm really dreading it."

She looked down at the tiled floor for a moment, and then she picked her head back up and said, "This is what life has to be though, doesn't it?"

No. It doesn't.

"It shouldn't have to be like this." I said, and reached out to squeeze Vivienne's hand. She gave me a grateful smile- and then a gray blazer caught her eye.

The Sunday before Vivienne started back up at school, I couldn't help but to feel a pit in my stomach for her. I knew how much she did not want to go back. She said she was spending the day doing some studying that she should have done over her break. She couldn't bring herself to want to look at her notes.

I texted her the next morning that if she needed anything during her school day, she could call or text me. She texted me back simply with a red heart.

She ended school at 3 PM- and thankfully I was in between patients when I got a phone call from her at 3:04.

I could immediately tell that she was crying.

"I can't do this." she said, "I was so miserable all day long. I was physically in my classes, but I wasn't mentally there at all. I don't even remember what happened."

"Do you want me to come over to your house?" I asked her, "You sound like you need someone there for you."

"You're at work-"

"I can leave." I said, "I'll tell my boss I have to go early. I've only got two hours left in the day anyway."

Vivienne sighed, "Okay. Thank you."

"Get home safe. Text me when you get home." I said to her, "I'll be over as soon as possible."

I told my boss, Greg, that I wasn't feeling well and had to leave early, which he was fine with. I was not one to miss work or leave early, but this was very important. I knew Vivienne needed someone with her.

I was relieved when I got a text from Vivienne stating that she was home. She told me that she was the only one in the house, and she left a key under the doormat for me. There was another key there as well. When I pulled up to her house, I got out, lifted the mat and grabbed the key, and opened the door.

"Vivienne? I'm here." I called up as I walked in.

"I'm in my room." she said back- and her voice sounded defeated. Exhausted.