-Blood-Stained Kisses- (BatJokes)

Forest talk, pumpkin blimp?

Yes! hello. Hello im here- but I'll be leaving America for a while, but I'll be back again! After awhile- you see im visiting my gf. I've never met her in person before, so it's the  first time preparing a trip,  and all that is hard saving up anyway --

You're wanting the story, not where have i been, so here

Enjoy~
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Ivy slammed her fists on the table “I don’t believe you.” She scoffed crossing her arms as Johnathan’s jaw dropped making him shake his head ridding of those cursed thoughts “Can we not talk about Batman’s Dick size I’m already having a headache as it is..” he sighs, massaging the bags under his eyes “Righty oh!” Harley agrees, shrugging off reds side eye “So….we have the fear of gas, and what? No plan?” she pondered thinking about what plans they could unfold “Well we could spread the gas around on one of em tractahs” the blonde suggested with a shrug making Scarecrow raise a finger “THAT’S EXACTLY LIKE MY OLD-“

“BRILLIANT!” Ivy beamed kissing her girlfriend on the cheek “Just have to make sure its away from all my babies” she reminded Harely and scarecrow sternly “ohhhh of course miss bimbo over here gets the praise” Johnathan huffed annoyed earning a pointed glare from ivy.

Suddenly the roof collapsed debris clouding their vision ivy was quick to save her girlfriend using her vines she didn’t count on Harley doing backflips easily dodging the concrete making a certain retired psychiatrist wrapped in the vines and pulled into ivy’s arms “Y-you saved me-“ scarecrow stuttered shocked as ivy groaned easily unwrapping him.

A coughing fit came from the wreck as a shadowed figure appeared “Gotta work on my landing” he breathed heavily as the kite man wheezed, catching his breath pulling out his inhaler before using it “Hooo!” he never needed it often only for when he did big stunts like these, saving his most beloved ivy from spooky sack boy. Little did he know that guy was right behind him with a bat “So who’s this guy?” Jonathan asked warily, looking up at his now destroyed roof, assessing the damage, “Let’s just get this plan done” ivy groaned out, pinching the bridge of her nose in distress.

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Batman was watching the clown closely he couldn’t stand how the Joker skipped around the woods like little red riding hood, but unlike the helpless little girl, Joker was the wolf in sheep’s clothing. He didn’t know if the clown was just accustomed to giving off an intimidating aura to make everyone cower in fear.. But isn’t that what Batman did? To intimidate the criminals the thugs in this city, unlike the Joker batman did it to save people while he killed. He knew deep down Bruce Wayne was now seen as a criminal, not everyday a millionaire is announced dating a serial killer. Though he also couldn’t deny that he found some part of him endearing the clown as he chuckled to himself in a different world, a world full of evil and chaos, crime and destruction. If someone told Bruce he’d be in a relationship with the Joker, he'd punch them in their face, telling them - no dare them to say something as ridiculous as that. But here he was, sleeping with him, wanting him under his control.

“Hey bats, do you believe in fairytales?” the Joker asked, suddenly pulling The vigilante from his thoughts he looked far away as if he was searching for something in those pitch black woods. The vigilante looked up the moon high in the sky illuminating them from the evident doom this forest held, after a moment he answered “Fairytales only happen when a miracle is made…” he said thinking to back when he found his fathers secrets…Working with the falcones and how his mother was affected.

 the Joker turned to batman his movements all but stopped the cold night breeze biting as his skin the clowns face devoid of emotion but those green jaded eyes glimmered in what Bruce could only describe as yearning even when his eyes dilated wild and fierce in the cold Gotham air. “You’re a strange one Bats” is all he said beforehand, walking forward again, leaving Bruce with more questions

The rest of the walk was settled in silence the clown was quiet for a change as his gloved hands caressed the bark of the trees, the vigilante found himself missing his banter of politics and sick jokes even if he’d never admit it out right to himself…or anyone for that matter.

The cold night breeze bit at the clowns skin like he was getting pricked by a thousand needles his coat doing little to appease the coming harsh season of winter, his fingers burned the acid he endured years ago only doubling the sensation almost numbing him and though he was used to it by now it still never made it any that much less  uncomfortable.

So as he walked through the silent air, knowing Bruce was stirring up a storm in his head, he never did stop with his over extensive thinking…But the clown didn’t want to interrupt this feeling. This silence shrouded them. He was never one enjoying silence, but this was different more raw and heavy. Knowing that if he did move, batman would be right behind him stopping him…He knew Bruce wanted this to work he knew he wanted this fairytale he had with Selina, something stable that he could hold on to waking up in a warm bed on a Sunday morning coffee being brought to him on a silver platter a breakfast meal fit for a king the smell of bacon in the air as his butler handed him the news paper his lover emerging from a shower after hot raw sex and kissing him on the lips…

The clown imagined that life years ago but it was ripped from him, and now with his and Bruces relationship it was more like him hanging on to a ledge with death meeting him if he falls waking up hours through the night fearing his throat would be slit and he’d be dead as Joker would sip coffee using his corpse as a foot stool. Though batman would never admit it, the clown knew it all too well. He knew batman his movements, his thoughts Bruce he knew well too he was similar to his bats, but he wasn’t as calculated. More daring, and the Joker found that all the more amusing these past weeks days years…who was counting anyway?

Well, batman was losing his touch, and Joker planned on snapping him back to reality one way or another. Remind him that there was no happy ending for them, no stability nothing…Just regret, anguish and death.

So the clown ran suddenly deeper into the woods hearing that growl of his bats call to him oh he missed the chase the adrenaline the fights he cackled as he was forced onto the ground “Joker what are you-“ a satisfying crack and he had his bats stumbling as the clown kicked him in his stomach laughing all the while the shrill excitement he could feel it tingling all over he hugged himself “Its like I’m falling for you all over again~” the Joker cooed with a sheepish grin towering over his boyfriend with a knife in his hand Bruce looked up bright blue eye widening in anger sadness and something so much deeper the clown bent down gliding his blade across batman’s chest with ease surprised he wasn’t getting pummeled yet he was inches away from his face when the joker said loud and clear “After we’re done getting past Ms. Salad and her sidekick, I’m going to fuck you in the bat mobile” the clown stood up satisfied before walking off he couldn’t help the smile that tugged his lips knowing Bruce was watching him

“Fucking in the bat mobile is prohibited!” Batman argued “I refuse to get my car dirty because you want to” he huffed the clown frown frustrated it was like 20 minutes after his statement that he went on about “besides! The seats are made of special material” the joker groaned done hearing excuses “Then we’ll do it on top of the car!” he yelled having enough with his bats kill joy behavior “We can’t do that either your butt will be imprinted on it” the joker sighed pinching the bridge of his nose “THAT’S THE POINT BATSY!” he snapped.

Suddenly there was a strange brown fog coming in spreading through the forest as a giant blimp flew past them in the air. Batman was quick to react putting on a special mask and yanking the clown from his collar and putting the same gas mask on him “what’s this for?” the clown asked unsure of what to make of it. Ignoring Jokers questions Bruce reported to the commissioner “I think scarecrow just made his move have the city evacuated immediately!” he informed him looking up in the sky describing the blimp “It has a pumpkin on the front. Be careful”

“CHRIST! We’re already struggling as it is. Thank you, batman we’ll do what we can here catch the sonavabitch”

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Thank you all for patiently waiting and supporting this story that's taken almost 2 years. XD longest story ive ever written ill be honest