You stare almost blankly at the message you just received. Feeling the sour lump in your throat, you throw your phone down. Breathing in and out to calm down, your lip quivered and as much as you wanted to cry, no tears were coming out. You had known Wonwoo for about ten years now, and from day one you have had a massive crush on him. There was just something about him that you couldn't put your finger on, something that always drew you back to him. You have had other relationships which have ended now, and in the back of your head you were filled with the what ifs about Wonwoo. Early this year, he had reached out to you out of the blue; you were newly single not looking for anything and could have combusted on the spot when you saw his name on your phone. You guys would hang out till the early hours, share secrets, and kiss very passionately. You wanted to know where his head was at, and you were always met with a "I like you a lot, but I'm just not ready for a relationship yet."
This has gone on for 8 months now. You would drive to meet him, buy him lunch and drop by his work. You would do everything that a good girlfriend would but you didn't have the title. You could truly say you loved him, you wanted to be with him for forever. But it seems like he always had different plans.
"Hey Y/N. I just wanted to say that I've really enjoyed these last couple of months, but I can't give you what you want. I feel bad, like I'm stringing you along and I can't do that to you anymore. I really hope we can stay friends and that you can find someone to give you what you deserve."
You read over the message for the millionth time and you can't help but feel so stupid. Of course he didn't want you. He was out of your league, he was aiming higher than you and he knew that. But you gave him everything you could, why did you have to try to convince him that you were able to be a good girlfriend? You huffed, shaking yourself out of these thoughts. You did nothing wrong, you did what you could to show him how much you cared and loved him. And if it wasn't enough, then he was the problem. NOT YOU!
"Okay. Sure, friends sounds good." Was all that you were able to reply. You put your phone down, laced up some running shoes and took off from the front door. The air was crisp, the moon was shining and all you could do was run. Letting the adrenaline course through, your lungs heaved for air and it felt so good. That's when you felt the first tear drop. You stopped and let out a small sob; and it was okay. You needed to get all this out. Feeling calm now, you smiled to yourself and felt okay. Will you always have a piece of your heart dedicated to him? Yes. But can you move on and be okay for the first time in years?? Yes. And finally you can feel at peace.
I haven't written on here in forever, and I feel kinda rusty. Let me know if this one was any good lol
-Sari
