Love is such a concept. There's family love, friend love and then love that can't really be explained, but you still feel it for someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. But, sometimes people miss their chances to get with the person they love, or they fall out of love. I missed my chance. I told the boy I loved, that I loved him and he didn't accept me. After four years, he's doing so well off, being a part of a boy group, being famous and being constantly showered with love and affection by fans. Not only that but now he's with someone. I want to hate her, I want to be able to despise her. And yet I can't, because he's actually happy. How can he be so happy while I'm still hurting inside? After all the pain I've gone through by loving him? I need closure, I need to be able to say all the things I want to him.
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"Wow, Y/N! It's been a while!" Wonwoo said with a charming smile. I return the smile, weakly though. You'd thing after so many years I'd be okay with seeing him, and yet I'm not.
"Y-yeah, thanks for meeting me...I just um-wanted to talk to you about something.." My voice trails off as I take a sip of my iced coffee. The cafe we're at is quiet, peaceful music playing softly in the background as other costumers enjoy their time. Wonwoo eyes me, an eyebrow quirked on his handsome face.
"What about?" I sigh as I look at him once again. I feel my heart skip a beat.
"About what happened, four years ago." I said.
"Y/N. We've talked about it. I have a girlfriend now too. I don't need to re live the moment with you. It kind of broke our friendship." He said firmly. His words sting, I bite my lip to keep my emotions in check.
"Maybe you were able to get over it, but I haven't alright? I've spent countless nights crying and staying up thinking what I did that screwed us up. You told me once you loved me then when I finally had the guts to say it back, your feelings had moved on. Maybe you are over it, but I'm not. I just want some closure, that's all I'm asking for. So please listen to me?" I plead. Wonwoo's eyes soften, a glint of sympathy in his eyes.
"Alright. I'll listen."
"When you told me you didn't have any feelings for me, I broke. I haven't been the same for four years. I haven't been able to get over it, I haven't dated anyone or even tried thinking about anyone else. Not only that but you, oh you kept baiting me into thinking you had some feelings for me. You suddenly got a girlfriend, but you always give me these lingering stares, those soft touches on my shoulder. They weren't friendly Wonwoo, I felt like you might have had feelings for me again. For a while you seemed so sad and depressed with that girl of yours. She pushes you around, she manipulates you and make you do things that you wouldn't have done before. I just want to know you're happy. I want to be able to get over you and now have all these feelings keep coming up every time I have to see you." I take a breath and try to read his face. Wonwoo looks at me, a mix of emotions going through his face, a little bit of sadness, anger and maybe even relief.
"You're right okay? I wasn't happy with Eunhee for a while, all these feelings I had for you kept resurfacing. I didn't mean to lead you on, it just kinda happened. I'm sorry you had to go through that. But Eunhee and I fixed our relationship and I am truly happy now. I want you to be able to let go and find someone who will love you for the amazing person you are. Please Y/N, as your friend I want you to be happy." Wonwoo said, he had a small smile as he said the last part. I can't help but feel a whole wave of peacefulness wash over, small tears escape my eyes as I finally feel the large weight being lifted off my shoulders. Wonwoo and I stayed for a while after, just to catch up and then we said our goodbyes. For real this time too. I knew I wasn't going to be able to see him again. It had to be a part of me letting him go. Now I feel that I can finally move on.
So this story is really close to my heart right now because I'm trying my best to get over this guy I've liked for almost 4 years now. I feel like I need to cry and just let it go but I can't so writing about it is helping a lot.
Aside from that depressing shit, HI MY LOVELIES!
I know I haven't been active and I'm so so so so so sorry!! I'm going through senior year right now and it's kicking my ass. BUT I got accepted into a university!! I'm excited and hopefully I will try my best to write more. Thank you to all of you that took the time to read my story and this little note. I am going to work hard to graduate and make sure I write for all you lovelies!!
-Sari <3
