Jaana : The Girl He Loved Too Much

Chapter 36

The rain had stopped, and the sky became a billion pure eyes of light and the grass green underfoot. It was as if night and day had become one beautiful moment. Dawn had come. Laying in Shahzain's arms, Sitara witnessed the sunrise as a canopy of gold, bright amid the blue, bidding the stars to take their nightly rest. As darkness surrenders, every color changes from tinges of charcoal to vibrancy.

A smile adorned her face, for the first time from the day she came here, she woke up being grateful that she did wake up, that she was alive to live another day with the man who though had claimed her as his long back but it's like she has started to know him just now.

Watching him sleep was blissful. She replayed the previous night, and once again, her heart fell for the monster lying beside her. The monster, who was the savior. Her mind went back to the news report she once saw on him 'Khan Saheb - Monster or Messiah' she never understood the blind following of the people towards a gangster. She only remembered this as a fleeting moment when he told her about Bahar. Yet she was not convinced that helping a beggar on the street can make him some God sent savior, but now she realized what the report was about. She felt a pang in her heart seeing how the people who are in power, who can actually do so much to uplift the life of the poor, who are meant to do this are misusing the power and a gangster who is an acclaimed murderer is actually doing something making their life worthwhile. The people who were elected by the people themselves, whom they have trusted with their life, with their future, were not actually their guardians but the wolves in the disguise of the sheep. Instead of taking care of their well-being, instead of implementing projects to uplift the life of needy, they are the one ripping them into shreds.

She has always witnessed his narcissistic side, someone who just takes what he wants without giving any heed to anyone's feeling but for the first time she saw his selfless side and that has swept her off her feet. For the first time, her heart skipped a beat not only because of his intense attractiveness but because he was so much more to what is on the surface. She was then mesmerized by his enticing looks, and now she encountered his soul and fell in love with him.

For the first time, she understood the peace in the fall that Nargis used to describe. If any one moment in time anchored her soul, creating a tether to this plane of reality, it was the moment she fell in love with him. She realized that she had a protector born of pure love, and how could she not love that? How could she not love all that he is.

"Bus dekhti hi rahogi humhe ya kuch kahogi bhi" (Will you say something also, or just keep staring at me?) she gasped at Shahzain's words, she thought he was sleeping. He opened his eyes with a smile, and she looked down blushed. "I thought you were asleep." she murmured looking down and he lifted her chin "I was, but my heart was beating faster and I realized my Jaana is looking at me" he said, and she blushed even more making him let out a small laugh. "Acha batao, kya dekh rahi thi?" (Ok, tell, what were you looking at?) He asked "Kuch nahi" (Nothing), and she replied, getting up from the bed. Moving towards the glass doors, she opened them and stepped outside. She stretched her arms, embracing the morning breeze. She smiled with closed eyes. She gasped as he wrapped her in his arms from behind. "Really? Nothing?" he said, placing his chin on her shoulder, pouting. She chuckled, turning towards him with still his arms around her waist. "Ji, kuch nahi. Ab mjhe aur kuch nahi dekhna, dekhegi to ye qudrat jisne mujhe aapse milwaya" (Right, nothing. Now I don't need to see anything, now the nature, the world, the destiny, that made us meet will see) she replied wrapping her arms around his neck, "Uh-huh aur kya dekhegi ye qudrat?" (And what will this nature see? ) asking, he moved a strand from her face behind her ear.

She held intertwined her fingers with his, holding his hand she said "Aajtak ye qudrat, Shahzain ki mohabbat ke gawah bani hai, par ab ye Sitara ki mohabbat dekhegi" (Till now, the nature has witnessed Shahzain's love, but now it will see how Sitara loves) she replied looking into his eyes, this was the bravest thing she ever said, and Shahzain's eyes replicate her own shock listening her words, but she was not fearful today. She was happy.

She reached leaned into him and enveloped his lips into her. Her kiss today was different from the passion she was devouring his lips with last night. Then, her kiss was the volume of passion that transcends the works of the great poets combined. Today, she was being vulnerable. She wanted to hold on to him. She was telling him that this was the promise of years. In her kiss, she was home.

"Promise me that I will have you forever," Shahzain's whispered as they broke the kissing with their foreheads touching. "Promise me this is not a dream, not an illusion. You will stay with me forever," he said, cupping her cheek. His voice has the urgency and the desperation and also a longing. He wanted to belong somewhere. Once and forever. He was scared that what if he lost her, because he was a monster, he didn't deserve her, and what if the destiny was just playing cruel games with him, luring him in the allure of eternal happiness and then will snatch his world from his arms. He never received true love, and he has allowed himself to be vulnerable for someone after an eternity. He killed the Shahzain who could understand kindness and love and became this stone hearted monster so that no one else could ever break him the way Firdaus did. He wanted reassurance.

"I promise. I will never leave you, even if I die, I will stay with you," she said, cupping his cheeks. She stood on her tip toes and kissed his forehead. "I promise Shahzain."

She let out a yelp as he picked her in his arms. "What are you doing?" She chortled."Shouldn't we start our day?" She said, laughing as he laid her down on the bed.

"And what's the better way to start the day other than taking my Jaana" he said, raiding her lips.