Jaana : The Girl He Loved Too Much

Chapter 40

"Shahzain," seeing him enter the house, Sitara literally ran towards him. She was hell scared about the consequences she was going to face, yet the fear she was trapped in anticipation was much worse than actually facing him delivering the punishment.

"Please let me explain." Before he could say anything, she started blabbering, like she was trying to put up her side quickly before the judgment was passed.

"Please don't hurt Bahar or Nargis it's not their fault. I am sorry I wrote that letter, but I have never spoken to Bahar. I promise you I have never disobeyed you." She hastily picked up the notepad. She brought in the living room beforehand only. "See, I used to write and talk to her. I didn't go against your word. She never heard my voice. You can check it. I never asked her to connect with my family. This is the first time I have written this letter. I didn't mean to lie to you. It just slipped my mind when you asked. I am sorry I should have asked you before sending that letter. But please trust me, I didn't say anything wrong. I just wanted to share my feelings with her. You must have read the letter, right? There was nothing I said that was wrong. I swear. I know I made a mistake, but this is my mistake, and I will take whatever punishment you feel is right, but please don't hurt them. Please," her rant met his silent glare.

"Wh-why aren't you saying anything?" She asked meekly when he strolled inside the house without responding. "I think you have a lot to say. Why don't you say first." He said, taunting her as he shuffled the notepad with a scoff that made her look down.

"Wow, you must be happy making a fool of me. I must say I am impressed, " he said cockily leaning on the couch, and she shook her head. "You are taking it wrong. Please understand, it was just -" his raised palm cut off her explanation in between. The grip around the notepad got tighter, and her heart was sinking at the thought of Bahar.

"Wh-where is Bahar?" She asked, twisting her fingers. Her nervousness was at its peak. "Bahar is gone," he said flatly, and her eyes widened. "Did-did you k-kill her?" She asked with a shaky voice. "Please-please say you didn't kill her." she asked desperately, coming closer to him. She held his shirt fisting it. "But-but her kids, please, they are so young, how can you do this? It wasn't her fault - "I didn't kill her." he cut her off, freeing his shirt from her grip before she kept going on and on. Hearing his words, she let out a breath of relief. "Thank God," she murmured, closing her eyes and thanking God that she had not become the victim of his wrath.

"But she is gone." He said, lifting the notepad in front of her. He tore it away, making her eyes drop. "When I said I don't want you talking to anyone else, I made it clear I can't share you. This is no different from it, " he said, reaching closer to her. His deep voice made her shiver to the core. She swallowed a lump. "Ji-wo-" he held her jaw tightly before she could give any excuse. "Shh, I don't want to hear anything. There will be no writing, no friendship, you are mine Jaana just mine. Your thoughts belong to me. Do you understand? " "Ye-Yes. I-I will never let it happen again." She said, trying not to aggravate him. "But you did," he said with gritted teeth. His hold was getting tighter around her jaw. "I-I am sorry, Shahzain. I didn't mean to hurt you, please. I never tried to hurt you. It was just an outlet." She tried to explain. "An outlet for what?" He yelled, making her shudder. He left her jaw and held the sofa. He was letting out his anger in his grip.

"Shahzain-" she tried to hold his shoulder when he turned with all his fury. He held her with her arms tightly. "Am I not enough? Hmmm, Jaana? Why do you need someone else?" He said, his anguish made tears welled up at the back of his eyes. "You are." She said, holding him. "Please don't think like this," she hugged him, seeing how much he was hurting. "I love you, Shahzain. You are always enough. I don't need anyone else. Please don't take me wrong." She kept hugging him, trying to convince him that talking to Bahar by writing is nowhere close to replacing him. She just needed someone, a little support, so that the silence in his world did not make her go crazy.
She was surrounded by people all her life. Her family and her friends were always with her. She was not used to this silence, this life, and hence, by writing to Bahar, she tried to avoid the loneliness that had engulfed her.