An Intangible Pattern

The last person to accept help from.

Alex's chest was tight, bound by a chain of emotions. It had finally happened: she had been attacked by an Alpha. What was worse was she had lost control of herself and become an active participant. She could not deny that it had been intoxicating, that it had felt good; but now that it was over she felt a devastating sense of loss and shame. She had acted like an animal and all but given herself to a complete stranger, on her sister's wedding day. She did not know who she hated more, the man lying on top of her… or herself.
The tightness around her heart snapped and her chest lurched. She tried to stifle her sobs, but they shook her rib cage defiantly. The alpha raised his head looking at her in puzzlement then, on seeing her tears, his expression fell into one of deep regret. 

"I'm sorry…" he whispered, his voice leaden with misery, "...I'm so sorry!" 

He rolled off her and gathered her into his chest stroking her hair gently and she, in that moment, was so desperate for comfort she let him. They lay there for some time as she cried brokenly into his shoulder.
After she cried herself out, he resolutely croaked. "I'll take whatever punishment you decide. I won't resist, I'll come with you to the police, I'll turn myself in."

She remained quiet for a moment and then sighed, "No… I can't. We can't."

He froze and replied sharply, "Why?"

She did not answer; he remained expectantly silent until she did.

"Because…" she choked and drew in a deep breath. Her voice grew tight as she explained, "... Because, I don't want this to be what Cat remembers about her wedding day!"

He remained still, his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed and she focused on the flutter of an artery in his neck.

He sighed in resignation and quietly said. "Ok. What do you want to do?"

She sat up, feeling woozy and tried to cover herself in the rags of her dress but it was futile. He too sat up, took off his suit jacket and wrapped it around her. 

"I need to get back to the hotel… I'll tell them I was feeling sick and needed to lie down." She grasped her clutch bag and tried to stand up but she felt faint and her legs would not support her. He caught her as she fell and she laughed hysterically.
The only person I can rely on, is the man who assaulted me! What a joke!

As though reading her thoughts he said "I know I'm the last person you want to accept help from right now, but please, if you won't confide in anyone else, please let me do this for you. The rut has passed, I won't hurt you anymore." She looked at him, his expression was grave and he seemed sincere. She shouldn't trust him, but she was exhausted and didn't know what else to do, so she nodded.

He picked her up in his arms and started down the stairs he had come from. When they reached the bottom, he avoided the hall looking for another exit. Her heart lurched as they approached an open fire exit: there was someone there... a kitchen porter smoking a cigarette. She closed her eyes and turned her head into the alpha's shoulder to hide her face. He smelled of sweat and fabric softener and something she couldn't identify, but it was pleasant. Inwardly she chastised herself for the stupid thought. The porter looked at them quizzically. Noah nodded in greeting and calmly said, "She's feeling sick and needs to lie down. I don't have my phone, if anyone is looking for the bride's sister, tell them she's gone back to the hotel." The porter shrugged and stepped aside. 

They were silent as he carried her across the car park to the hotel. She breathed in the cool night air and it steadied her, soothing her nausea and headache.
As they entered the hotel, she closed her eyes against the brightness of the reception hall and heard the polite greetings of the staff. The alpha nodded in return.

I guess they think we're lovers. She thought. Even in her detached state, it disturbed her to think of how little challenge was offered as they passed by. She imagined this happening to other women, possibly drugged or unconscious, abducted by god knows who, for god knows what. Met with in incurious glances as a tormenter walked brazenly past with his victim. She vaguely wondered if any crimes had occurred in this hotel…. she would look it up, if this man did not decide to murder her…maybe she will be the first…

When they reached the elevator he finally spoke to her. His voice rumbled in his chest as he asked,  "Alexandra, where do you need to go?"

"Oh," she said, broken from her morbid reverie. She hesitated, wondering if it was wise to tell him where her room was. But was there any hope of escape? She really did not think that she could stand, let alone outrun an alpha. "It's room 607, 6th floor. The keycard is in my bag."

He set her feet down to free up one hand and pressed the button. They stood awkwardly in silence as they ascended, listening to the elevator music. It felt so surreal after everything, it almost seemed funny to her. 

The doors pinged open on her floor and he picked her up again, carrying her to her room.

Inside, the air felt oppressively hot and static so he set her down on the bed and turned on the air conditioning. Now she was at her destination, she became conscious of her body again. She ached and she felt the slickness of his semen between her thighs. It disgusted her. 

She rolled off the bed intent on showering, but she stumbled and fell. He was at her side in an instant and lifted her up again. The panic that had been dormant rose up and clamoured through her and she beat against his chest. She tried to scream but her voice would not come. 
"Please, Alexandra! I'm not going to hurt you, just tell me what you need." He pleaded.
"Put me down, I just want to go to the bathroom, I feel disgusting, don't touch me!"
He looked at her sorrowfully but did not release her. He carried her to the bathroom and set her down on the edge of the bathtub. He turned on the shower and tested the water with his hand. 
"Can you shower alone?"
"Yes."  She said, sliding into the bathtub without taking her clothes, such as they were, off. He placed the shower gel and a towel closer to her and left.
Fingers trembling, she pulled off her clothes and sat with arms wrapped around her knees. She closed her eyes and focused on the water beating down on her back. Exhaustion overwhelmed her and she fell asleep.