An Intangible Pattern

Honour among thieves

"Do you really have to go?"
Alex hugged her sister and kissed her cheek.
"Yes. If I stay away too long they'll give my room to someone else. Besides, I'm in the way."
She glanced between Cat and Arthur and gave them both an apologetic smile.
Arthur blushed and averted his eyes, suddenly intent on the ceiling, but he did his best to deny her assertions.
"You are never in the way Alex, you are welcome to stay here as long as you want."
"Thanks, but I really should go back. I want to, I kind of miss the place."
Cat took her sister's hand and locked eyes with her, "At least come back and stay at Christmas time?"
Alex stuffed down her uneasy feelings and managed to smile as she nodded in agreement. She packed the last of her belongings and said her goodbyes then got into her car. Wisterlea was long out of sight in her rearview mirror when she finally breathed easily; the oppressive tension lifted with every mile she put between herself and the town, and she wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry with relief.
Multiple times she caught herself speeding in her anxiousness to get back to the sanitorium and she forced herself to slow down and enjoy the rolling hills, checkered with fields and sparkling in the frosty morning.
Time seemed to stretch and it felt to her that the journey took twice as long as it should have; however her heart swelled at the familiar sight of the tall stone walls and the guarded gates of home. She drank in the sight of the familiar estate, its secluded copses, open fields, buildings and shops where she could roam without looking over her shoulder. In this tiny refuge, there were no alpha's to watch out for; noone was going to stalk her or hunt her down here; even if that man did find her, he would have to get past security.
And Noah? He was like a maelstrom, pulling her irresistibly into his orbit where they would both be smashed to pieces.
She was only too glad to avoid him right now. She didn't know what to do where he was concerned, he seemed to be determined to self-destruct and it made her sick and angry that he thought he was doing it all for her. She hadn't asked him to and she had no desire to be indebted to him. It wasn't so much the thought of turning herself into the police that scared her, it was everything that would come after; the thought of a thousand eyes turned on her, boring into her all at once, and among them the disappointed gaze of those she loved most. It made her chest tighten to think of it. However, at some point, she knew she would need to face what she had done, but Noah complicated everything; before she could gather her courage, he would pull her back or make a decision that removed any control of the situation from her hands.
Being around Noah was disorienting; she hated him and yet she didn't, she was afraid of him and yet she wasn't, she wanted him and yet...no it was best to be as far away from him as possible.
She pulled up to the old barn that was her home and walked past the security desk. Lin, a tall broad security woman looked up from her laptop and gave her a cheerful smile.
"Look who it isnae! I was starting to think you weren't coming back."
Alex greeted her warmly and asked,
"Did anything exciting happen while I was gone?"
"Does anything exciting ever happen around here? Nah, you had some letters while you were gone though. You really should give us an address next time so we can forward these on."
"Sorry, my sister kept me rushed off my feet." She flicked through the stack of letters. Nothing seemed to be important so she tucked them into her pocket.
"D'ya want a hand with your luggage?"
"No, thanks Lin, it's not heavy, I'll manage."
She gave her a grateful smile as she hoisted her suitcase and started up the stairs.
"See you at dinner then, Ravi's cooking tonight."
"See you!"
Eagerly, she unlocked her bedroom door and walked in. Sunlight streamed through the blinds filling the room with a warm glow and she watched as dust motes danced in the golden rays. Everything was as she left it; the bright crocheted blanket smoothed over her bed; the stack of folded laundry on her armchair; her notepad on the desk, opened at an abandoned thought.
She sat down on her bed feeling at last safe, however, after a few moments she began to notice the silence. The sound of Cat, chattering enthusiastically about her latest project, was missing here; there was no Arthur to poke fun at her; no Jess ready with a salacious comment, nor Rob with his infectious laughter. Even her mother's neurotic fussing would have been a welcome sound. This place was safe, but it was also empty.
She sighed unsure what to do next.
This is the way things have to be. He's still out there somewhere and at least he can't find me here. And if he can't find me he won't find Cat, I have to stay away to keep her from being dragged down too.