Peachy

Part 9. Entwined

"I'm going to let the girls know I'm ok."

"And are you?"
We are still close but he pulls back slightly to look at me.

"You've made me feel like I can breathe again. Turns out maybe you are into all that 'soppy shit' after all"

"Oi enough of that, don't go spreading those lies about babe" he laughs.

"Seriously though, I misjudged you. You got me through this today, under that top layer of asshole, there's a good man under there, I can feel that now."

"Woah, guessing I shouldn't get used to the compliments?"

"You got that right!" I smirk as I let go of his hand and walk off back to the villa.

I walk into Leah's bedroom and fall backwards onto the bed in a thump. The chaos of this afternoon has made my whole body tired.
"Hallie, I'm so sorry this happened. The things he said to you, I.. I"

"Really we don't need to go over it all." I cut her off.
"I had a moment and now I just want to forget it happened. Can we do that? Please?"

"Hun, some of the things he said were pretty out there and cruel, what was he on about?"

Taylor was pushing for me to explain everything to them and I could see there minds going a hundred miles an hour trying to figure it out. It had felt good to open up and let things out with Jax but to have to go over it all again? I just couldn't. Jax was basically a complete stranger and somehow it felt easy. I loved these girls like sisters but I'd chosen not to burden them with all the details. Maybe one day, but not today.

"I know you must want to know all the details but it isn't going to do any good, he's gone now and I'm ok. I really just want to enjoy this time together before Leah goes tomorrow"

They nod reluctantly.
"How can I leave you now?" Leah says worryingly.

"You take steps towards the door, one foot at a time, jump in the cab and get on the plane?" I sit up and smile.

"Seriously? Come on Hallie. After everything today and your making jokes."

"Yes, because I'm ok. I promise you. Now come and squeeze me".
Taylor has no hesitation and jumps straight on me with arms wide open. Leah looks slightly more unsure but joins us both and before we know it we are all back to laughing.

After a couple of hours both Leah and Taylor crash out. I'm physically exhausted but after everything today my mind won't shut off. I hate it when this happens. I decide to go and see if anyone else is still up, and to my surprise it looks like everyone had the same idea and call it a night early.

The door to the bedroom Jax is sleeping in is slightly ajar. I peer my head in and see that he's still awake sat on his phone. I think back to earlier that afternoon, I was surprised he was the one to comfort me. It was too soon for me to be having any kind of feeling towards anyone, yet standing here looking at him was making my heart flutter in my chest. He took the pain away by just being there. There was something between us, I wasn't sure exactly what but the connection felt rare to find. I wanted to know more about this man.

"Hey, can I join you?"
He shoots me a look as if that's a stupid question.

"Obviously. Get in." He gestures to the bed.

I see his black t-shirt crumpled up in a pile on the floor. I'm still in my bikini, so I pull the t-shirt over my head, take off the bikini discreetly from underneath and pop on a little black thong, which is hidden well from the top.

"Looks good on you peachy"
I climb into bed and pull the duvet up over me so I'm all snug and smile up at him.

"I was wondering where you'd got to"

"Oh he missed me!" I joke looking surprised as ever.

"Definitely not, don't get too excited babe, just expected you'd be here that's all."

"If you say so" I tease back.

"I was thinking, I don't know a single thing about you, other than your name really.."

"What would you like to know?"

"Anything.."

"I'm from London?"

"Not what I meant smart arse. Something about your life, something that maybe you don't usually talk about"

" Ok ok.. I live with Jesse in London, with our little sister Isla, she's 16. No parents. Our mum passed away 4 years ago when I was 19 and dad the following year. So it's been the 3 of us for a while now. Me and Jesse are her guardians and have been ever since".

"You took on a 12 year old when you were only 19. You've kept your family together, that's amazing."

"She's our sister." He shrugs like it's nothing.

"Is it ok to ask what happened?"

"It happened quick, we found out mum had cancer and before we knew it she was gone. When she died, dad didn't cope well, he loved her so deeply, he couldn't cope without her here and he took his life the following year"

I look at him in complete disbelief. It all rolled of his tounge like it was nothing. How could someone go through so much grief and yet cope enough to care for a sibling at such a young age let alone just be ok in general.

"What was your mum like?"
He smiles. The first time he's shown any real emotion since this conversation started.

"She was beautiful, like so beautiful Hallie, the kindest, most giving woman, always laughing and smiling and doing everything she could for us all, until the very end"

"She sounds incredible" I smile.

"She really was."

"And your dad?"

"It's hard.. he gave up and didn't fight for us. I can't get passed that to remember all the good? I know losing mum changed us all, but we still managed to step up, and he was meant to be our father not the other way around"

"hopefully one day you can remember him for the man he was before. I'm sure he loved you all deeply too"

"Maybe."

I move my body over so that we are laying closer together, pushing my leg between his and sliding my fingers through his so that we are fully entwined.

I could tell he was at his limit with sharing and I didn't wanna push.

"Thank you for today Jax"

"Really it was nothing.." he shrugs it off.

"Maybe to you, but to me it was everything. Somehow you just knew what I needed. You warn me away like your this bad man, but I saw one of them clearly today and that wasn't you.."

"Just don't hold your expectations too high peachy" he lifts my chin slightly so that we are looking clearly in each others eyes.
"I can't change who I am, I can't give you what you need. That's just not me"

I can't help but be disappointed to still get the same answer.

"This version of you that you talk about all the time is so far from what I'm seeing, you can't tell me your not feeling what I am?"

"All I can give you is right now. Can we just enjoy this week together?"
He avoided the question, of course he did. But there's no way he isn't feeling what I am. There's something between us and with each day that passes I feel it more.

He's looking from my eyes to my lips and the anticipation is making my heart race.

"I'm not going to kiss you unless you want me too.."
Without hesitation I nod
"Kiss me Jax".