|Concrete and Gold||dave grohl|

Chapter Twenty Six•Rest

TW: Topics of depression and suicide relating to Kurt Cobain and Dave Grohl

April 5th, 1994

"Kurt Cobain Found Dead In His Seattle Home At The Age of 27."

April 12th, 1994

It had been the worst week of everyone's lives. Eliza finished her classes early so that she could move in with Dave in his home in Seattle. She didn't have to begin work as a teacher until August, giving her about five months to stay with him until she had to figure out her next move.

Dave was a disaster. In the past week, Eliza couldn't recount a time when she remembered him to be sober. He had begun to rely on her to do everything around the house, a job that she gladly took on. She wanted to do everything she could to help him out. Virginia came and stayed with him for a few weeks while Eliza went back to her dorm to pack up the rest of her stuff.

"How is he doing? I can't even imagine." Abby asked while the pair was on a coffee date to catch up while Eliza was visiting home.

"Honestly, he's doing terrible. He's depressed but won't admit it. He doesn't ever leave the house, and I rarely see him leave his room. I make sure that he eats three meals a day, bathes, I take care of the house. I do everything."

"Eliza." Abby rested her hand on top of Eliza's. "You must be exhausted."

"I really am." She bowed her head between her shoulders, taking a deep breath. "But I can't even imagine how exhausted Dave must be. I want to help him every way that I can. This really isn't about me."

"Is he seeing anyone about this?"

"No. I've tried to get him to see a therapist, but he refuses. He always gets so upset when I ask."

"That's weird."

"I know. I'm really worried about him. But if he doesn't want the help, I guess I can't force it on him." Eliza shrugged.

After being home for a few weeks, Eliza flew back to Seattle, taking back her role as caretaker and allowing Virginia to go home.

A month went by, and spring was starting to blossom. Eliza hoped that the warm weather would prompt Dave to get out of the house, and surprisingly, it did. He started doing grocery shopping and going on walks, but something was still missing. The conversations that he shared with Eliza were brief, and she always felt like she was talking to a wall.

"How was your day?" She'd ask as he came home from wherever he had spent his days.

"Good." Was his usual response, giving her nothing more than a quick smile.

"Do you want to sit with me for dinner?" Eliza asked, trying to spend more time with him.

"No, I'll just eat upstairs." He'd say, grabbing the hot plate of food that Eliza had prepared and ascend up the stairs.

Weeks passed following the same routine. Eliza was left flustered, but still took care of him as if there was nothing wrong.

On a phone call with her mother, Eliza recounted her situation.

"He really does nothing?" Her mom asked.

"He goes out to god knows where every day. We don't usually interact. We haven't even really touched since Kurt passed."

"Honey, I know you want to be there for Dave, but there has to be a point where he takes over a little bit. You can't stay there forever taking care of him."

"I know, I know. When the fall hits I'll have to go to work."

"Has he talked at all about his future? Is he going to join another band?"