A/N: sorry for the 100th time

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My grandmother ended up passing away almost a month ago now, and I'm struggling the most I've ever been in my entire life. I log on every now and then just to scroll through the comments on here and you all make me want to cry. I love you all so much. I want to start writing again and I want to come back so bad but I just don't know when I'm going to be able to. And I know you all understand and I appreciate you all for it. You guys are genuinely the most loving and caring and supportive people I know even if I guess I don't really know any of you.

I hate everything. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I stay awake til my body crashes and then I sleep for what feels like forever. I don't Even feel like a person anymore most of the time. Losing my grandma broke me. She suffered for so long and it felt like we all just had to sit there watching. And then right before that my partners grandmother passed away as well. Usually writing helps me escape, but I just haven't been able to get anything out. But when I log onto here and read the comments of you all being so nice and supportive and absolutely hilarious I smile, and actually forget about everything for a little bit.

I love you. I'll be back someday, I promise

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