RESTLESS HEARTS

CHAPTER 41

A/N
*Forgot to upload this chapter with the rest, yesterday. My bad*

•JULIANA•

When anger, heartbreak, and sadness collide, it's like a ticking time bomb within me. Most people have a way to vent, but not me. I was raised to use my fists as a release.

These emotions can drive you to the brink, where fury clouds your vision, and the only way to defuse it is through physical action.

But each punch I throw at that heavy punching bag just seems to inflate the bubble of my pain further, refusing to burst.

Every strike, every rush of adrenaline, and every drop of sweat only stoke the fire within me.

Shawn's words echo in my mind with every blow.

"You had every choice."

"You could've said no to your father."

"You don't deserve any form forgiveness from me."

Hit. Hit. Hit.

If I could turn back time, I'd change everything. I would have told him the truth, and that alone could've made a difference. But it's too late; the truth had also shattered the bond that held us together.

"I don't want to see you again. Ever...if possible."

I grasp the punching bag, gasping for air, tears mixing with sweat. A hand lands gently on my shoulder; it was Kim, looking at me with concern in her eyes.

I can't help it; I break down, and Kim holds me up.

"It's okay, Jules. It'll be alright."

"He doesn't want to see me again."

Kim pulls me back to meet her gaze, tears in her eyes.

"I know, but we'll find a way to fix it, like we always do."

Her words ease the pain but don't erase it.

"It hurts...I hate it so much," I confess, my hand rubbing my aching chest.

Kim soothes me, and her thumb brushes away the tears.

"It's okay to be hurt, Jules. Everyone goes through their first heartbreak. The pain will go away soon, I promise."

"What if it doesn't?" I ask through sobs, and her eyes softens.

"It will. You and Shawn will be together again, I'm sure of it."

"I loved him, Kim."

Her eyes slightly widened in surprise.

"I'm sure you did."

"But I ruined everything. I hurt him, the people he cared about, and lied about everything. He'll never forgive me for that."

She caresses my face, but I turn away.

I walk to the window. I checked out of my hotel room yesterday right after our fight, and rent out a smaller studio instead.

I was afraid a spacious room will drown me in loneliness, so the small room was all I could live with right now.

"Will you be okay, Jules?" Kim asks.

I manage a weak smile, looking out at the rain.

"I will be."

Raindrops blur my reflection on the glass, red-eyed and tear-stained. I'm not one to cry often, especially over a man, but Kim's right; everyone faces their first heartbreak.

I was taught to never give up on what I want. If I want something, I'll get it, no matter who stands in my way.

I love Shawn, always have, but never got the chance to tell him.

He may not want to forgive me, but I'll make things right, no matter how long it takes.

I'll get him to forgive me and give us a second chance, and I'll even bet the odds against it all.