RESTLESS HEARTS

CHAPTER 46

•SHAWN•

Three weeks had passed. No calls, no messages, no voicemails. Just radio silence. Jules had vanished without a trace, leaving no remnants of her existence behind.

I couldn't shake off the memory of our last encounter, a bitter ending etched into my mind. Every day, I replayed that moment, wondering what I could have done differently, what words might have made her stay. But deep down, we both knew nothing could mend the damage we'd inflicted on each other. 

Our relationship had become a loop of hurt with no way out.

My thoughts were tangled, mirroring the mess in my heart. I still loved her, yet I wasn't ready to invite her back into my life. The desire to have her back clashed painfully with the need to keep her away from me.

At this point, seeking therapy seemed like the only logical step. My mind was a jumble, incapable of finding a solution. Nothing felt right anymore.

I attempted to focus on the documents before me, but the words blurred and merged into an incomprehensible mess. Frustration mounted, and I tossed my pen aside, resting my head in my hands.

Work pressure added another layer of chaos. Each day in the office blurred into the next, and I questioned my purpose there. The reasons for my presence seemed distant and hazy.

In a moment of distraction, I swiveled my chair to face the floor-to-ceiling window overlooking San Francisco's skyline. The view was breathtaking, momentarily stealing my troubles away.

For a fleeting moment, memories of Jules flooded my mind. I recalled her laughter, her smile, the way she spoke. A pang of longing tightened my chest.

God, I missed her.

The ache of missing someone reached depths I hadn't known before, each memory like a dagger in my heart. But assigning blame was futile. We both had our reasons for letting go, and the damage was done.

Yet, it wasn't too late to mend it. The opportunity to fix things was still within reach. I didn't care about her past or who she was; I loved her, just as she was. She hadn't changed to win my heart; she had always been herself—just Jules.

It struck me then how much time I had wasted dwelling on the past when I could be searching for her, fighting for us.

Realization hit me like a lightning bolt. I leaped from my chair, determined to act. I reached for my phone, intent on telling Agent King that the search for Jules must continue.

A knock echoed through the room, and I glanced up to see Josh standing at the door. I gestured for him to wait a moment while I made the call.

To my surprise, the call went straight to voicemail. Confusion furrowed my brow as I stared at the phone screen, wondering what could be delaying Agent King's response.

"Hey, man, you feeling alright?" Josh's question snapped my attention away from my phone, and I glanced at him, puzzled.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

His forehead creased as he studied my face.

"You don't look so good. You're paler than usual. Are you sure you're okay? Not feeling weak or cold or anything?"

I pressed my hand to my forehead, checking my temperature. There was a bit of warmth, but overall, I felt fine. Nothing seemed wrong with me.

"Nah, I'm good. I've got to go see Agent King. I need to talk to him about Jules," I told him, closing the files on the desk and hastily organizing the scattered papers back into their folders.

"Wait, why?" Josh asked, intrigued, and I paused, staring at him.

"What do you mean, 'why,' Josh? We're talking about the woman I love here. I'm going to see Agent King, and I'll do whatever it takes to find her and bring her back."

I started to circle the table but stopped abruptly when a wave of dizziness hit me.

"But is that a good idea right now? I mean, she made it clear she was leaving for good and never coming back," Josh's words echoed distantly. I gripped the edge of the table, trying to steady myself as my head throbbed painfully.

What was happening to me?

The room spun, and I looked at Josh, who was now a blurry figure.

"Shawn, are you okay?" I heard Josh ask, and the last thing I saw before blacking out was him rushing towards me as I collapsed to the floor.