☆ in bloom ★ (style)

thirteen

3390 words (happy birthday trey parker 👍)

we practiced the shit out of ourselves. but we sound amazing. it's officially friday, the night of the concert and all of our songs are officially flawless. they all sound like the originals, but with our own little touch here and there. (by 'touch' i mean little rhythm changes or slight note adjustments.)

we might aswell be squealing right now, but that's gay so we're just playing it off cool. after a group high five and little celebration, we start to pack up the instruments and other things we might need. as the others are packing, my eyes land on butters, who's looking down at his guitar melancholically.

"you good?"

"u-uh yeah.." he responds wearily. this is a bit normal for butters. whenever there's a ton of guitar solos (as there usually is) butters is always so nervous that he's gonna mess up, but he never does. he just doesn't recognize his own talent. he's so self conscious and it makes me pity him. everyone knows he's outstanding on his instrument except for him. if he can hear all these other guys play flawlessly, why can't he hear that for himself? he's always scared he's gonna fuck up his adjustments right before the concert, or break a string or soemthing but it never happens. he'll recognize his own talent one day, i know he will. he just needs a little bit of time.

we pack up all our stuff and somehow manage to fit it all in jimmys car.

the car ride to starry night is only 10 minutes from jimmys, but it felt like a road trip. butters insisted upon driving us all there. i can only assume he offered so that he could think of something else to think about instead of the concert. me on the other hand? the concerts the only thing i want to think about. i'm so excited for everyone to hear us play. and i'll admit, im a little excited for the alcohol. even though i know how i get, i try not to think of that, but instead think about drinking with kyle and how we're gonna stay at his place tonight. he's gonna be blown away i garuntee. our bands talent progresses with every concert we do, but this one's going to be significantly better then the last one. i can feel it. and he's going to be back stage the whole time with heidi! i'll be preforming for him and him only. i just happen to have a few hundred people clap.

when we practice, with every word i sing, i direct then at kyle. thinking of him as the meaning behind my lyrics just give them a sense of familiarity. i feel like i'm bonding with the song on a different level when i give them my own meaning. it makes me feel like, even for an instance, that we wrote them ourselves.

my stomachs completely in my throat by the time we finally pull into the parking lot. we get to park in the handicapped spot up front.

we unloaded the trunk and wheeled our stuff to the stage. there's already like 50 people here early. we won't even start playing for another 45 minutes. i look around, and so far none of these people are kyle.

out of habit, i text kyle to see where he is.

kyle: me and heidi just pulled in. we're in the parking lot, are you guys setting up?

stan: yup

i put my phone away and my adrenaline dies down a little, but nonetheless im still borderline shaking.

after what seems like an hour, i finally see kyle from back stage. i wave to him and motion for him to come onto the stage.

he runs over to where i'm standing in front of the mic. it's not on right now, but i still out my hand over it anyway. "this is where you'll be in like two weeks." i smile up at him. "that's in two weeks. how about tonight? aren't you excited? or is this like any other concert?" he asks me. "well, it's gonna be a little different. for one, you're here. and for two, there's gonna be a lot more light action going on. i think they might even turn in the projectors. they said it was really hyped up."