Ntsumi ka Moreetsi

The Books

“I know, I am trying to figure out how I feel but I don’t know. My heart hurts physically. You know about the soldiers that returned home after an ambush, my hus, Pheko was part of that team. His been in icu and I have been by his side, as his been with me during the whole Phasha saga.” I wipe my tears as I narrate the events of my visit.
“I am sorry to hear that. How did that make you feel?” Lerato.
“Unwanted, unloved, it hurts, took me back to Sebenzile and her mother’s days.”
“I’m sorry you were triggered. In the same breath, I want you to remember what grief does.” Lerato.
“The psychologist in me understands, the human me does not understand. I don’t deserve his harshness, I hate that he has me thinking that when Babe dies, he will turn on me. I made a decision to walk away, to protect my heart before he hurts me.”
“That’s your hurt speaking, before the accident. Has he been unkind?”
I shake my head no, “Pheko has been kind and gentle maybe that’s why his outburst hurts so much.” Lerato gives me a knowing smile.
“I wish it didn’t hurt. I am going to give him space.”
“Are you not going to visit your husband?” she asks writing a note.
“That statement says a lot, step back from the hurt and think about my question.” Lerato.
“I will see him when he is home.”
“Okay, I will see you in 2 weeks. Take care and reflect on our conversation.” I get up and she gives me a hug. I walk out of the room. The drive home is long, the traffic is horrible. I arrive an hour later.
“Sanbonani.” I greet Babe, who is with the Moreetsi’s. Okuhle follows me to my bedroom, she us walking funny.
“How was work?” Okuhle
“It was okay. Your day?”
“Ag, it was chilled your brother and dad went out and got back about 3 hours ago. Babe went to bed and he woke up now, because your in laws are here.” Okuhle.
“I think he had his radiation and chemo today.” I take of my shoes and change into a dress then go to the kitchen to start cooking. Mrs Moreetsi joins us.
“Ausi, how are you today?” she asks.
“I’m good thanks.”
“Pheko started mobilizing today from the bed to chair. He asked to see you this evening.” Her eyes plead.
“I will go see him but not today.”
“Oh, he is getting a day pass to attend the funeral. Will you be picking him up?” she is really pushing her agenda. I decline with a bright smile. I leave them in the kitchen and come back with his set of keys and give them to his mother. She looks at me with her eyes wide open.
“What must I do with these?”
“The keys to the house to fetch Pheko’s clothes for the funeral on Friday.”
“I told you, I can’t enter your bedroom ausi.”
“You don’t enter if I’m there, I am giving you permission. Not that I need to, Pheko is your son mama. There is a fleece blanket in Momo’s room to cover that metal brace on his leg.”
“Is it because of yesterday?” I smile and shake my head.
“My father needs me, Pheko has you and his brother. I will see you on Friday at the funeral.”I find Babe sitting on his lazy boy with his eyes closed. Bhuti and Miso are talking soccer.
“I’m sorry for his behaviour.” Bhuti.
“It is not your place, everyone in this house knows this marriage was only to help me, I should not have gotten attached. I will get over my feelings do not worry.”I change the channel and increase the volume.
The Moreetsi’s leave after supper. I retire to my bedroom with Okuhle, she is clingy today and only wants me. I sleep immediately and get woken up by Okuhle tossing and turning.
“Are you okay?”
“No, the baby is coming. The pains are close to each other.” She calmly says. That makes me calm, I get out of bed and go start the car, triggering the alarm.
“What is happening, Ntsumi?” Babe asks. He and Miso are standing in the passage.
“Okuhle is in labour, we need the hospital.” The two men panic and start looking for the bag, I drive us to the hospital, they take Okuhle and I fill in the forms. Babe and I wait for 30 minutes before Miso walks to us smiling. I laugh as he approaches us, he frowns looking funnier, he has one shoe on and a sock. His shirt is inside out.
“Somohlaya, you are an aunt to a baby boy. Come meet him.” Babe and I go in the room after Miso. The baby is so beautiful, I pick him up and pray thanking God for his safe delivery.
“What is his name, Ntsumi bring the baby to his grandfather.”
“Khwezilokusa.” Miso answers. I give Babe the baby, he kisses the baby and praises God. We leave the hospital and Miso drives us home. It’s after 2am.
I wake up at 6:30 and prepare for work. The office is busy, I see the clients I postponed and only leave work at 6pm. I drive home and receive a call from the hospital where Pheko is admitted , my heart drops.
“Good evening, Mrs Moreetsi, you are speaking to sister Kobe. May you come to the hospital.”
“Is there something wrong with my husband?”
“The doctors would like to speak to you.”
“I am on my way.” I drive to the hospital and run out of the car into the hospital.
“Hello, I received a call from sister Kobe.”
“Oh yes, please come this wway” We walk to the opposite side of the ward where Pheko was laying.
“Where is my husband?”I ask my heart beating fast.