lana del rey imagines

ꨄ︎ nothing like her ꨄ︎

Lana doesn't care about other people.

It's not that she's a self-centered bitch-maybe a little-but she's got too much shit going on in her own life to deal with anyone else's. Depression, anxiety, mommy issues and the list goes on and on. There are loud voices in her mind that keep her isolated from the rest of the world most of the time. At least that's how it was until you came into the picture.

The only person who keeps her grounded, respects her boundaries and understands her weirdness, that's you. You were hired as her assistant five months ago and, until this very moment, she was convinced that worrying about you is not her job or responsibility.

But it's getting hard not to.

Especially when you're sobbing on her shoulder. She didn't expect a simple hug would end in this delicate, awkward situation-awkward because Lana has no fucking clue what's going on, what to do, let alone what to say.

Hug you? Sounds good but she doesn't.

Ask you if you're okay? That would be a terrible idea.

Luckily you don't give her time to do either, as you suddenly pull away on your own. Eyes wide open in shock, as if you've just realized your big mistake. Because she's your boss, your boss. You can't have a fucking breakdown right now, not in front of her!

"I'm... I'm sorry...."

Your voice cracks and you're unable to hold eye contact from how painfully embarrassed you are.

Lana frowns, a flash of worry shining across her face. For someone who's so badass and tough 24/7, this vulnerable side of you has your boss wanting to know the motive behind it with such desperation. Because only that way can she help you, or try to at least, and thus alleviate whatever it is that's bothering you, hurting you.

"What is it?" She softly asks, surprising herself.

"Nothing, it's nothing." The small smile that accompanies your reply is brittle, not convincing enough.

"You know I'm not buying that crap," Lana can't help herself, gently combing your hair behind your ear. The sight of your tears falling makes her want to kiss them away. She decides she's going to worry about that crazy thought later. "C'mon, it's me."

You feel relief the moment she retracts her hand because you were about to lean into her touch. You use your own to wipe away your tears.

"Exactly. You're going to fire me."

Lana can barely hold in her giggle. "I won't," from the look you give her, the amusement fades a little. "I won't," she reassures you. "You can trust me."

Her honey-like voice and the honesty her eyes hold is overwhelming, you duck your gaze. Your fingertips trace the butterfly-shaped pendant on the chain Lana has just given you. When she asked you to meet her in the living room, you were one hundred percent convinced that she would show you the way to the door, never to return.

You're so, so glad you were wrong.

But you never expected this gesture, either. Like, you thought you were invisible to Lana all this time. That she told you, "I've got a little something for you.... To thank you for all that you do for me.... It's so silly but..." and all that cute rambling of hers in the face of nervous situations, is easily the highlight of your day. Of your year.

"It's been a long time since someone last had a gesture like yours. My last girlfriend, she would-"

Your abrupt silence only heightens Lana's interest even more. "She would...? What?"

Agh! You just can't stand it, that she's talking to you oh so softly. It makes you want to tell her all your secrets.

"You know, make me feel like I'm worthless," you look up barely. "And now, I kinda feel like I don't deserve the good things that happen to me. This job, this beautiful gift, you."