lana del rey imagines

ꨄ︎ engagement rumors - but not with u ꨄ︎

Eight months. It's only been eight months since you and your ex broke up; six since she started dating someone else. And today, today you woke up with the news that was traveling the internet last night:

Lana Del Rey is engaged.

For some reason, you've been crying all day. But why? She moved on quickly and easily, as if erasing you from her life had been the simplest thing in the world. And you eventually did the same; sure, you haven't found anyone new yet, but you ripped her out of your heart. Or at least that's what you thought these last few months.

Until now.

Your tears fall on the Polaroids that are on your bed, one of the many possessions you still have with you. Her smile, her smile is radiant, authentic in most of the photos - except in the ones where she's not smiling because she's kissing you. She looks happy, you look happy.

Was it all just a simple illusion?

No. At least you know that on your side everything has been real and true; you loved her deeply, and, it hurts to admit it, but you still love her. She has been this wild and sweet person who appeared in your life to revolutionize everything you were, what you are, and everything you will ever be. You've never fallen so hard in love with someone, you've never loved someone as much as Lana, and you fear you can never open your soul again as you did with her.

You try to drink more whiskey only to find that the bottle is already empty. As you make your way to the kitchen in search of more alcohol, your sobs are the only sound echoing off the walls of your apartment. Back in your bed, you start drinking again while snuggling into the black hoodie you're wearing; one possession that's not yours. But you love it. Because it's like she's somehow holding you in her arms.

To complete the perfect night of "missing and crying for your supposedly forgotten ex", you go to the closet and return to bed with Blue, the blue plush teddy bear that you soon cling to. You sketch a nostalgic smile when you remember the day she gave it to you, along with a poem she wrote asking you to be her girlfriend, two years ago.

Everything you two have lived together seems so far away, as if it happened in another life. Perhaps it was for that reason your relationship didn't work out, because you weren't meant to be together in this one, this particularly disastrous life, at least not more than a year and a half. Lack of trust and jealousy caused things to stop working, to gradually fall apart until they shattered completely.

You grab your phone and look for her name among your contacts. She went from being love, baby, to just Lana. You dry your tears a bit while you wait for her to answer the call. Restlessness or nervousness are the last thing you feel; the level of alcohol that flows through your blood prevents it.

"Y/N?" It's the first thing you hear in a soft, fearful whisper.

"Hi, Lana," you say, trying not to drag your words so as not to expose your drunkenness. "I know it's late and I don't want t-to bother you, I j-just want to congratulate you on your enga-- engagement."

"Oh, so you know..."

"Yep, and it's okay. If you're happy with him, I'm happy f-for you, and that's all that r-really matters, right?"

She sighs. "I suppose. Are you drunk?"

"Maybe. Yeah, I am. Anyway, it's the last bottle of whiskey and I have to go buy m-more, so... That w-was it, congratulations."

"You're not driving drunk, are you?" You can perceive something strange in her voice, such as worry and fear, but sure you're hallucinating; why would she care for you at this point? "Y/N?"