I Want You For Myself (Sasuke/Itachi Romance)

23. Animus

How could I possibly tell time in a place like this? I didn't know whether it had been seconds, or minutes...but it felt like I had been trapped within the confines of my own mind for an eternity, just floating. I wasn't sure exactly why I was here. I wasn't dead, but I couldn't wake up, no matter how long or loud I screamed into the void. I must be in the Inbetween...not quite dead, but not fully alive.

It was so empty in here. I felt so...alone; Surrounded by darkness and forced to drown in my own thoughts just to stay in touch with myself. Because if I didn't think, the silence of this place was going to drive me insane. Yet, what else could I possibly think of, but him?

My lower lip trembled, the feeling of breaking down into little pieces becoming all too eminent. I was here because of him. 

Because of Sasuke...

My heart ached at the very thought of his name, my mind swirling with a mixture of anger and denial. 

"How could he have done this to me?" A lump formed in my throat as I felt tears spring forward. "How could he turn his back on everything, just like that?" 

No matter how may times I ran it through my head, I couldn't wrap my brain around why he had done what he did. "I suppose I asked for this," I whispered to myself. 

What was it that I had said? "Take me with you...or kill me." My chest felt like it was imploding as I struggled with my grief knowing he made his choice very clear to me now.

The darkness shifted around me, sensing my anguish and as it closed around me I panicked slightly. Have you ever had a shadow embrace you before? It is the strangest sensation. Nothing was warm or happy about its touch, yet I somehow found comfort from it, as it literally wrapped its arms around me, consoling me.

"Shhh, you don't need to cry anymore."

Looking up, I met my own familiar face that wore the shadows like a cloak. It was like staring into a mirror, only my features were distorted. Eyes a startling golden color that stained red at the edges. Teeth a tad too sharp to be human.

It was her. Okami...this was the first time I had looked her dead in the eye, let alone let her touch me, without pulling away in disgust. The old me would have done it...but, I didn't feel like the old me anymore. I felt like, with each moment I stayed here, the very person I was, was drifting away like dying embers in the wind.

In this place, where I felt I was being swept away further and further into the void that threatened to devour me, I clung to her presence; her words, desperately trying to anchor myself to anything I could. For the moment, she was my solace. For the moment, I welcomed her because it meant I wasn't alone.

I choked back the cries that threatened to escape, "I feel...I feel like if I even move, I'll shatter." Tears welled up in my eyes. "It hurts so much."  This pain, this betrayal, the lonliness...it was all eating away at me.

"I want to give up...," I couldn't hold it in anymore, sobs began cascading from me, my tears falling into the vast dark nothingness. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, "I-I don't want to feel this way anymore. I don't want to feel anything!"

"I can take the pain away...If you let me...I can help you." Her voice was like velvet, soft and soothing.

"How?"

"I can teach you not to love so much."

His words rang in my head. "What would a demon like you know anything about love?" Sasuke had scoffed.

"Love...love is what got me here, isn't it?"

Okami's shadowy figure rose above me, holding out her hand, urging me to take it. "I can make it go away. It's time to open your eyes to reality...and reality is harsh."