HIS ROYAL BRIDE

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 11

[KULANI]

After Kurhula and Fikani agreed that we needed to go out, a decision was taken to visit Phongolia resort for the weekend. They told the elders that they needed some time to bond while their actual words were, ‘We need to get away from these meddling ones’. These two are more alike than they are different. Fikani is just good at hiding his madness around people. He’s the shy one. Boitumelo and I are the back of the car. The gents stopped by a Tops to get some alcohol and we went to get breakfast supplies.
‘So you don’t drink? As in at all?’ she asks as she picks up the tray of eggs. I nod and push the trolley forward.
‘Girl! Life is too much of an extreme sport for you to be facing it head on and sober’
I laugh. I am tired of having this conversation to be honest. Alcohol consumers should leave teetotallers alone. I once tasted the whiskey that my father had left in a glass and I began wondering why people associate booze with fun. It tasted like an abortifacient. After that little illegal experiment, I needed to go brush my teeth to cleanse my tastebuds.
‘Ah but I kinda get you. I also want to stop drinking since we’re trying for a child’ she says. I have come to notice that Boitumelo overshares a lot. She’s the type of person to find you in a bus and next thing you’re hearing about how her aunt slept with a Ben 10 and put him in her will. Conversations like these make me uncomfortable because I know how dangerous they can get. My granny always said you don’t announce early pregnancies, job interviews and pending negotiations before they come to fruition. This is just as good as an early pregnancy.
‘If there’s an African concoction that you know of, please let me know’ she keeps talking. I chuckle. What makes her think I’m concoction savvy?
‘At this point, I am even considering surrogacy’
The more she speaks, I get to realize that Fikani never told her the root of their fertility problems.
‘Speaking of which, would you carry a child for somebody else?’ she asks. I truly hope this is hypothetical question.
‘Uhm… I don’t know. Don’t you have to have a child first for you to qualify as a surrogate?’
‘You don’t have… that little boy?’
‘AK?’ – I laugh – ‘He’s not mine, not biologically’
She looks embarrassed.
‘I’m sorry. The way you’re so good with him I just concluded that—’
‘Don’t worry about it’
‘So he’s Kurhula’s?’
I nod.
‘Where’s the mother? How are you handling the baby mama drama?’
Tumi doesn’t keep quiet and I’m in that mood where I want to retreat into a corner and just shut up for a couple of hours.
‘Uhm…’ I lose my train of thought. I close my eyes and softly rub my forehead.
‘Are you okay?’
I nod.
‘I’m fine. I haven’t met her yet’ I answer and see the two duplicates approaching. They took their stuff to the car and probably thought we were taking too long. Fikani kisses his wife and Kurhula looks at me with a worried face.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks as the two chat away about how pleasant they’re finding the rurals. He has his one hand on my waist.
‘I’m fine’ I offer him a subtle shut-lip smile. He gives me that ‘Why are you lying?’ look
I laugh.
‘We’ll pay so long’ Fikani says and pushes the trolley forward.
‘What’s going on? I saw you from that aisle that something was up’
‘I’m just… I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’ll be good, it’s no big deal’ I assure and brush his upper arms.
‘You sure?’
I guarantee with a nod.
‘Okay let’s get out of here then’ he takes me by hand and we go find the other couple.

…

After taking a long shower post-supper, I was ready to socialize again. We agreed to meet by the fireplace even though it wouldn’t be lit. Night cold is slowly creeping in so we might reconsider in that regard. When I leave the room, I hear their noise from the pool area and walk in that direction. I hope the mosquitos here have some decorum. When the lights meet the water, it creates a cosy and cute illumination I find pleasing to watch.
‘Welcome back. I was getting tired of this one third-wheeling us’ Fikani says and we all laugh.
‘Oh it be like that?’ Kurhula asks with a playfully raised brow, receiving me in his arms. He pushes my hair out of the way and kisses my shoulder.
‘How was your bath?’ he asks as he wraps his hands around me.
‘What you’re not gonna do is flirt in front of us’ Fikani jokes.
‘Heh mfo, I never said shxt when you were all over your wife so allow me to have my moment’
‘Can I pour you a drink?’ Tumi asks, holding the juice bottle up.
‘No thank you’ I politely say. She shrugs and fills up her glass. I can smell the alcohol Kurhula has been drinking in his breath. I thought I was fine but I lied to myself. This is why I don’t like being around people. They will take it personal if I leave right now so I’m forced to stay.
‘You still haven’t told me how you guys met’ Kurhula says. I am sitting on his lap. Tumi looks at Fikani with a growing smile on her face.
‘We met via Twitter, indirectly’
Kurhula pulls his brows and head back, amused by this.
‘Carry on’ he encourages. Fikani laughs.
‘His friend posted something problematic and I wasn’t going to let him get away with it. That found its way to the DMs and he mentioned something about me being his friend’s type, only to find that he was right and that he was my type too’
I’m confused.
‘Wait. The friend, Fikani’s friend is the one that saw that you two would look good together?’ I ask. They both nod.
‘Interesting…’ Kurhula says. ‘From there?’
‘The rest was history’
‘Weren’t you afraid that he might be part of a trafficking syndicate? Phela this face is one of a seasoned criminal’ Kurhula jests and we laugh.
‘You do realize that you have the same face, right?’ Tumi asks.
‘I look nothing like this motherfvcker’ Fikani argues and empties his glass in one gulp.
‘I was about to say the same thing’ Kurhula supports.
They’re being childish and it’s hilarious.
‘It’s insane how just a few weeks ago, I was thinking about how I wished I had a little brother then the unimaginable happens’ Fikani says.
‘I’m the little brother?’ Kurhula says, ready for a fight.
‘I am talking about Junior. Sit your a** down’
‘I was about to iron you my boy’
‘The same way you ironed that old man?’
They shoot out laughter. This shouldn’t even be a laughing matter.
Tumi can’t stop laughing at their meaningless argument.
‘What old man? Can you two grow up?’ she urges, still laughing.
‘That one with grey hair?’ Fikani draws the picture to his confused wife. ‘The one with the neck brace baby man’
‘You’re responsible for that?’ she’s shocked.
‘Long story. I’m not proud’
‘That nonchalant look tells me otherwise’
They continued arguing and I notice how Fikani’s eyes are riveted on me. I avoid them a couple of times and he drops his eyes into his glass. I thought I was seeing things this morning but that odd look is back. I guess he’s one of those people who aren’t afraid to stare, like me. The difference is, I don’t initiate. I only stare back but this time, I am feeling uneasy holding it. That was rather uncomfortable. Kurhula’s phone rings and he releases a loud sigh. I see a Kgosi on the screen.
‘Can I take this, baby? Just two minutes. It’s important’
I get up from him and he moves away from us. Tumi finishes off her drink and shakes her head while getting up.
‘I am no night owl. By this time, I should be in bed. Are you coming?’ she asks her husband.
‘In a minute’ he says with a smile. She kisses his cheek and squeezes my arm goodnight. Her body is to die for in those linen pants. You can never not notice it. She has an almost flat behind with wide curves.
‘You remind me of someone…’ he points me with the rocks glass, distracting me from watching Tumi as she disappears. ‘I just can’t put my finger on who’ he takes a slow sip.
‘I’m told I look like a lot of people everywhere I go so, I’m not surprised’ I lie for the sake of conversation. I raise my eyes to Kurhula. He’s still on the phone, pacing up and down. What he’s discussing there must be serious judging by the hand gestures. Fikani is quiet and swirling his drink.
‘Those people you’re said to have a resemblance with must be quite beautiful then’ he finally responds after an equivalent of seven months.
‘Fvck, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I’m sorry’ he mumbles to himself. What on earth is going on between this chair and the one he’s seated on? The distance is small but it seems to be accommodating an overwhelming amount of a lot. I am not going to read too much into this.
‘I will take that as a compliment. Please tell him that he’ll find me inside. I’m also starting to feel my eyes getting heavy’ I leave him with the message and walk away. His eyes are piercing my back.