HIS ROYAL BRIDE

CHAPTER 37

CHAPTER 37

[KULANI]

It’s for the second time this year that I find myself confined within the four walls of a prison cell. When I arrived home from my mother’s house, I found Kurhula waiting for me, perceptibly irked with my disappearing act. The first thing he did when our eyes met was to extend his palm like a loan shark waiting to receive all that belongs to Ceasar. I dropped my head because I couldn’t bear looking him in the eye.
‘Bring it back’ he firmly emphasized.
‘It’s in the car’ I quickly confessed.
‘Why did you even take it? As far as I know, you don’t even know how to shoot’
I wiped the streak of sweat from my forehead and immediately stopped when I realized that my hand was shaking – following the crazy tempo of my heartbeat. He silently tapped the empty space beside him on the bed and I followed the unsaid instruction.
‘I’m not mad at you…’ he softly assured. I continued to sit there without a word. ‘I was just worried about you when I realized that the gun wasn’t here and you also had left without saying shxt. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?’
I nodded, without fully processing what he was saying.
‘What’s going on?’
I swallowed and almost choked on my guilt.
‘Nothing’ I answered. He immediately sighed.
‘So you’re just going to sit there and lie?’
I couldn’t tell what was in his head. I couldn’t look at him. A lot was busy getting topsy-turvy up in my head and this wasn’t a pleasant experience. It made me super anxious. I was struggling to accept the fact that I had no ability to turn back the hands of time.
‘I’m not lying’
‘Baby, I do this shxt for a living. You’re saying one thing but your body language tells me another. What the fvck is going on?’
He was the first person my heart wanted to run to when the incident was still fresh but at that moment when he asked, I felt like… I don’t even know what I was feeling. The tears cascaded down and under my chin when it finally hit me. I had done it. All those intrusive thoughts of wanting to retaliate had finally won. Under all these empathetic and peace-seeking layers of myself, lies a true version of my mother’s daughter. Growing up, there was a saying my father really liked. When people would express their disbelief and equal disappointment when a well-mannered woman happened to mother a troublesome menace of a child, he would usually say that pastors seldomly raised better pastors; they always birthed common thieves and unscrupulous politicians. Right now as I sit here on this cold and hardened cemented floor, I disagree. A lion’s offspring is always innately predatory. None of this should surprise me because after all is said and the sun eventually sets, I am still Pam’s daughter, grotesquely so.
What was barely even a conversation between Kurhula and I melted into a silent hug. When I couldn’t speak, he pulled me into his arms and allowed me to further crumble against him. Fikani’s knock kicked me out of the thin semblance of calm I was slowly seeping into. He asked the both of us to meet him in the study and that’s when I blurted it out that I had shot my mother to her death, and that his twin brother knew. The judgemental frown that creased his face crushed me internally.
‘You did what?’
‘I don’t know what I was thinking. I just wanted her to confess to killing my baby. I shouldn’t have went there but I did…’
He seemed to calm down. Probably because of the mention of our baby, the baby that he was looking forward to giving the world from the moment he was informed of its formation. Somehow, I just knew that he was going to be a daddy’s boy. I watched as Kurhula’s chest dropped in loud signs of defeat.
‘When the cops show up here, you know nothing. Are we clear?’ he commanded after a long and dreadful moment of him keeping to himself.
‘What?’
‘I’m the owner of the firearm. You probably forgot that important fact but I’m not gonna allow you to set foot in jail. I promised—’
‘But—’
‘I promised I’d always protect you, even when you’re being reckless!’
He was annoyed, and there was no opportunity for me to get mad at the tone he was taking with me because he had a point. I applied zero thinking in this instance. However, I wasn’t going to allow him to do time on my behalf. You don’t do that to the one person who would carry the world on his shoulders and set it alight if the need arose, all in your name.
We both got up and I followed him out. When we got to Fikani, we found him sitting on the office desk – typing on his phone.
‘Took you long enough’ he mentioned without raising his face from the screen. I was paranoid that more than two people knew about this. A weak part of me wanted to go report this to the police but it was getting arm-wrestled by the fear of being locked up for good, and the latter was winning.
‘Where exactly were you standing when your mother was shot?’ Fikani asked. I raised a brow. Why is it important? He loudly exhaled and jumped off the surface he was seated on and Kurhula occupied his chair – visibly stressed. Fikani pulled the notebook and asked Kurhula for a pen. He didn’t hear him. Fikani tapped the desk and only then did Kurhula start paying attention. Fikani got the pen and handed it to me.
‘I need you to draw your exact position in relation to your mother’s when the gun went off’
He was stressing me out. Did I look like I was the mood to be partaking in kindergarten activities right now? Drawing? Really?
‘You were inside the house with her, correct?’
I nodded.
‘I have reason to believe that you’re not the one who pulled the trigger. You might be convinced that you were because you’re inexperienced but I highly doubt that you were alone at that scene. Just draw quickly please’ he was getting impatient. My blood was chilling at this realisation. At the same time, I was desperate for him to be right. Kurhula was just watching us speak. If only I had a penny for his thoughts. I took the pen and dotted my position, then my mother’s as far as I could remember, using the door behind me and the window for some reference.
‘Thought as much. There was no way you could’ve shot with such great precision with your inexperience. Bro, do you recognise this brass?’ he turned towards Kurhula, who silently opened his palm for Fikani to drop the bullet casing. He studied it for a few seconds and shook his head.
‘This ain’t mine’ Kurhula responded before putting it down.
‘Then I guess we have nothing to worry about. Just as long as you’re sure that you touched nothing else in that house’
‘Tell me something Mlambya. What exactly was your plan by going to the crime scene?’ Kurhula asked.
‘Damage control’
Kurhula was silent but the suspicion was like badly matched foundation on his face. Fikani was confident in his vague statement and it was clear that he was not prepared to say anything more. The silence was starting to get too loud for me, so I left. When I heard the cry coming from the back, I remembered that there was a baby in the yard whose mother was in hospital fighting for her life. I wanted to ignore the cry as I showered but the little one was not letting up. I got dressed in sleepwear even though people would be awake soon. I left the house and went to knock so I could attempt to calm her, and that’s how I felt in love with the nameless baby. She was like a soothing lullaby in the middle of a raging storm. Something about her innocence made absolute sense. She eventually quietened her down as I sang to her. If babies knew what waited ahead, they would be inconsolable. I thought calming her was my biggest feat of the day, until the police came knocking on our door. Now I am sitting here wondering how she is doing. I can still smell her natural babyish scent. New-borns smell like a medley of sweet things.
There’s two other women in here. One is sleeping and the other is staring at me. I am pretending that I don’t see her because if anybody has to teach her that staring is rude, it is not going to be me.
‘You seem out of place here’ she finally says and she sits up. She has this masculine and dominant air about her. That’s what she’s been trying to decipher all along? Why I am here? Why is she in here?
‘Ey, Beauty. Do you talk?’ she asks. I almost laugh because this question rightfully reminds me of an incident where I had to pretend I was mute for a man to leave me alone at the mall. It worked, and I’m thinking of pulling that stunt again. That man had also given me a name as well, a name I can’t recall now.
I sigh.
‘Murder’ I say. ‘Alleged murder’
She scoffs. I know what she finds amusing. This is an adjective usually reserved for the third person. I just felt I should say it; I didn’t do it. I’m confident that I did not do it. I just allow the fear and the panic to switch off a few buttons on my logic board. I did not do it.
‘Let me guess’ she gets up from the bunk bed and comes to sit beside me. ‘A man?’ she asks.
I don’t respond. I don’t have the energy to.
‘I’m not judging you. If so, very good’
I shake my head.
‘My mother’ I correct her before this further gets misconstrued. I also need that silence back.
‘Sheesh…’ she goes – not sounding shocked at all.
‘And you?’ it’s my turn to ask.
‘No dead bodies. Just drugs this time’
This time?
The other lady raises her head from the bed and looks at me. She also gets up and comes to sit in front of me, reeking of alcohol. If she hadn’t caught her balance, she would’ve fell right on top of me.
‘Oh aram skepsel. Let me pray for you my child’ she offers and tries to take my hands. I decline. She looks slightly older than the both of us. I was under the impression that she was asleep while she was furtively listening to our conversation. Not that I mind. I do not care.
‘I’m okay, thank you’
‘You don’t want me to pray? It’s for this reason that you are in this God-forsaken place’ she spits. The other cellmate laughs while rolling a blunt. Is that even allowed in here?
‘People who usually announce that they want to pray for you are pretentious. You could’ve silently prayed for her there by your bed, instead you are, playing heaven clerk whereas you’re also arrested maybe for far more heinous crimes’ she says, still rolling. I laugh internally.
‘I’m sorry but what could be more terrible than killing your own mother?’ the question comes out before I can secure a leash on it. She glances at me before handing me the weed she has just nicely rolled up. I politely turn her down. She shrugs and pulls on it.
‘Let me guess. You also don’t drink?’
I nod and she subtly laughs.
‘I have a feeling your mother provoked you’ she shares.
‘I didn’t do it’
‘You look like you’re beating yourself up about it though. Stop, otherwise these grey walls will drive you insane before you even make it to court. Tamia…’ she offers me her hand. I can’t help but smile.
‘Kuli’
The intoxicated prayer warrior had passed out on the floor.
‘We both got here yesterday. She poisoned all five of her kids, in case you’re wondering’ Tamia states and blows out the smoke.
My eyes widen at this unsolicited piece of information.
‘How old?’
‘Between the ages of two and eight. When I tell people that just because you can have kids, it doesn’t mean you should, they think I’m crazy. Look at her now, going through a helluva lot’ she stands up and goes back to her bed, honestly unbothered.
‘Someone’s here to see you’ the police officer says, looking at me. The previous one told me that we cannot have visitors. I am hoping it’s Kurhula, or my dad. Seeing either of them could help salvage the little sanity I have left.
I get up from the floor and wait as the heavy metal is being unlocked. I wait for the handcuffs but she just offers me a tight-lipped smile and gestures that I should walk ahead of her. I find Kurhula in the visitor’s room and he immediately stands up when he sees me. He calls the officer by name and is acknowledged with a friendly nod. We are left to be alone and he pulls me closer to him.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks, and I just stare. I don’t know. Is this what I’ll refer to someday when it’s fitting to say, ‘I’ve been through worse’?
‘You’re not going to stay in here for long. I promise you this’ he offers me his pinky finger and I laugh, before crossing it with mine.
‘Have you eaten?’ he asks and I shake my head.
‘Please say something my love’
I sigh and pull out a chair. Standing here is making me a bit dizzy.
‘You never said anything right?’
I shake my head. I’m too tired to speak, especially anything about this case. If I am to go to prison for life, so be it.
‘Mbilu ya Kurhula, I’m going to need you to be strong otherwise the prosecutor is going to shred you to pieces. There’s no case here… well if you play according to my rules’
I raise my brow. Why does that sound so sinister? He takes a seat across me.
‘The only thing the police have on you is a single eyewitness, nothing more’
‘Someone saw me. That’s enough to put me behind bars’
‘Why do you think they call me Jaguar?’ he asks with a confident smirk and I chuckle.
‘You are going to deny ever being at your mother’s house at the time of her murder. Aunt Lydia is prepared to be your alibi’
I laugh breathlessly. Why am I not surprised? If there’s anyone who would shamelessly be prepared to lie under oath, it would be her.
‘I don’t know baby. I feel like this is going to backfire’
‘If you’ve never trusted me before, I’m going to need you to trust me just this one time, with your whole heart’
I’m really not sure about this.
‘Why can’t I tell the truth? Can’t you get me off that way?’
‘You’re their only suspect. They want to put someone behind bars for this. If you admit to ever being there, that will give them the stamina to bury you. Now they’re operating on hearsay and nothing else. Please trust me, I know what I’m talking about’
I find myself fidgeting. He puts his hands over mine.
‘I know you’re scared, with good reason but I promise you my love, if you do as I say, this whole thing will be chucked out of court, okay?’
I wipe my tears and nod. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I would be okay with whatever outcome but this gets real as each minute passes by. I am not prison material.
‘How’s the little one?’ I ask and he immediately drops his chest.
‘Do me a favour?’
I look at him expectantly.
‘Please don’t get attached to that baby. We’re here today because you couldn’t handle heartbreak my love…’
I drop my eyes.
‘Don’t get me wrong. I am not judging you. I just don’t want to see you hurt, okay?’ he softly pleads as he gets up. He has a point, as always.