August | Hermione Granger x OFC

Epilogue Part 7: 31/05/98

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31/05/98

Dear Dylan,

It's been 29 days.

Lloyd's been sentenced to three months in Azkaban, until term starts.

Then he'll have the same conditions as me, but if he breaks the rules, he'll be put away for 30 years.

Hermione thinks that since the Dementors are gone, the Ministry's making up for it by handing out longer sentences. And of course in the grand scheme of things three months isn't long. If anything, he's getting off easy.

But it's Azkaban. And it's Lloyd.

I can't tell if I'm more upset or furious. Definitely both.

I'm angry with the Wizengamot. I'm angry with Kingsley. I'm angry with Hermione. I'm angry with Lloyd's idiot lawyer who was supposed to be the best money could buy. And I'm angry with Lloyd too, but he's my brother so that's sort of the default.

I'm fuming with Draco. When the Aurors took Lloyd away, I tried to talk to Draco but he shouted at me. Of course Hermione came to my defence and he called her a Mudblood. Really? After everything?

I still have to see him most days for community service, but I'm not going to talk to him for a long time. Not unless he offers Hermione a genuine apology. But I don't know about that. He's a complete twonk.

The thing is that I know he didn't mean it. I know he was emotional about Lloyd's sentence. Probably even more than me. But I don't care.

Molly says George isn't doing well. No wonder, is it? He lost his twin.

I'm not sorry I didn't tell you about Fred. I didn't want you to spend your last moments heartbroken. I just wish you had told me sooner that you were together. I wish you hadn't felt like you had to keep it from me. I loved Fred too, you know. He was a good guy. I bet you were a brilliant couple.

I told Molly she can bring George with her to the house but I'm not sure he's up for it yet.

Olivia not talking to me is making me really anxious. And then there's Willow. She's visited the house more than once and she's working on the telly for me but I can tell that if it came to it she'd take Olivia's side. It's not that Olivia and I are in an outright argument or anything, but I did almost kill her, so. I understand why she's keeping her distance, even though she told me that it was all over and done after I came "back to life" or whatever the bloody hell that was.

I had really, actually, genuinely wanted to die back then, when you died and I thought Lloyd was dead too, and when everyone was fighting. I just wanted it all to end. And maybe I'm still in two minds about it. Or maybe not.

Funny. I'm in two minds about being in two minds.

I don't know. For now I'll just have to tough it out I suppose.

I would never actually... you know. "Off myself". As far as I'm aware. I mean, I know I technically tried to already, but that was different.

I was given a second chance at life, so I shouldn't waste it, right? I should live, for you and for myself.

I would never actually off myself. But I just wish it wasn't so hard.

Right. I think this is the sort of stuff I should be telling my therapist. But that's hard too.

I'm trying my best.

I hope Hermione and everyone else knows that.

Until next week.

Love, Robyn

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