TᕼE GOᒪᗪ Iᑎ TᕼE ᗪᗩᖇK | ᑎᗩᗰᒍIᑎ (ON GOING)

ᖴOᖇTY

~The next morning~

NAMJOON

I was awoken by aggressive shaking from the shoulders and a warmth above me. I shouted in surprise and kicked Jin in the armpit.

"Aye!" He snapped, very lightly smacking my cheek. He adapted a confused and worried expression when I winced.

"Why are you always so jumpy whenever I hit you?" He asked softly. 

"No reason," I lied, a fake smile plastered across my face. Jin didn't buy it.

"Namjoon, did they hit you? Your parents?"

"Sometimes," I smiled sadly. Jin frowned deeply.

"Joonie, why didn't you tell me?"

"Same as always; I didn't want to bother you," I shrugged. Jin sighed.

"When will you get it through your head? I want you to bother me, I want you to be happy! When you asked me out, I thought that meant we wouldn't keep secrets from each other any more."

Well that fucking stung. Is he rethinking our relationship? Am I making things too hard for him, causing more stress? Does he deserve someone better than me? I mean, of course he does, he's beautiful and kind, I'm just a poor farm boy. I'm nothing without Jin.

"So you don't trust me?" Jin said abruptly when I had no response. I gaped at him.

"Where did you get that idea from?" I blurted out rather harshly. "I trust you with my fucking life!"

"Clearly not if you're still hiding things from me," Jin murmured. He was still nestled between my legs while I lay on my back, staring at me with his arms crossed. Since when was he so sassy? I wanted to say "it's too early in the day to be fighting", but something told me that would make the situation worse.

"I'm not hiding anything from you," I grit. Jin's eyes softened sadly.

"Joonie, I really hate fighting," he sighed. "And you know that I hate it, but I really just need you to trust me if we're going to date. It's already so risky, we can't hide anything else from each other."

"I'm not hiding anything from you!" I repeated loudly, starting to get frustrated. Jin raised his eyebrows.

"We've been dating for a month, and you never told me you were abused. Do you know how much that affects me too? I know it was hard to adapt to a new world, but I thought you could trust me by now."

"Jin, just listen to me for once." I sighed, struggling to keep my cool. I thought I could never yell at Jin or scare him, but now I'm debating it.

"It's like everything I say is going in one ear and out the other," I began. "I trust you. I love you. Why don't you believe me? It was just one secr-"

"Just one secret!" Jin shrieked, throwing his hands in the air. "Yeah, just one secret, a really big secret! You-"

"Jin!" I said loudly when he ignored me again. "You're not listening to me. Stop ranting about your own stuff, answer my question. Why do you think I would ever keep secrets from you?"

I saw the disgruntlement in Jin's expression as he tried to think of a reason. I suppressed a smirk.

"See? You trust me, I know you trust m-"

"You can't just say that!" He blurted out. My heart got stabbed.

"So you admit that you don't trust me?" I tried to sound confident like I was earlier, but my voice crumbled along with my heart.

"No, no, I didn't say that!" Jin said hurriedly. Tears were building up in the back of my eyes.

"Wow, I thought you, of all people, would trust me," I shuddered lowly.

"Namjoon, I do, I really do trust you!" He cried. I tried to get up, but he pinned me back down to the bed. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking straight, I didn't mean it," he whispered, a soft breeze coming in from the open bedroom door, slightly ruffling his hair. My heart still hurt, no matter how badly I wanted to believe him.

"I trust you, I love you," Jin said slowly, cautiously crawling beside me. "Please, Joon, I love and trust you more than anyone, I was just upset. C'mere."

I sighed as I fell into Jin's arms, melting against his torso. "'M sorry, Jin."

"Don't be," he whispered, stroking my hair reassuringly. I could tell he was still shaken from our first fight ever since we started dating; his heart beat fast against mine, his muscles were slightly tensed, and worry just radiated off him.

He kissed my teary eyelids, his plump lips soft as clouds. "No need to cry, Joonie, you're such a good boy," Jin whispered, squeezing my body.

"Mmh, I'm a good boy," I murmured, unaware of my words. My head really hurt, I just wanted to sleep. I've never felt so mentally weak before.

"A very good boy."

Oddly enough, I loved when Jin called me that. A small smile drew on my lips as I nuzzled his chest, softly kissing his tender skin. The next few minutes passed in silence, except the occasional laughter from the children and the sound of blades slicing off each other from those who practiced with swords. Jin's tiny hands rested on my shoulder blades since he couldn't reach much further down than that while I stuck my face in the rook of his neck, my arms folded on either side of him.

"Good boy," he repeated so quietly it was almost inaudible, kissing the crown of my head. I grunted softly, heaving my chin up so it rested on Jin's broad shoulder. This was my greatest source of comfort, nowadays; cuddling with my petite boyfriend. His warmth was just so reassuring, I couldn't help but let him win our argument over with a hug. I looked up when I felt his other shoulder move just to see that he had a butterfly resting on his crooked index finger.

"Oh no," he groaned quietly. "It's from Hoseok."

I didn't know why that was a bad thing, but I laid my head across his chest to read the note along with Jin after the butterfly flew off. Jin's fingers creeped up my back to massage my head with his free hand.

Jin

Teach Namjoon proper etiquette ASAP, Taemin insists meeting him at dinner tonight in the Golden Pod.

Hoseok

Jin sighed as he put the note down, cupping my face and squishing my cheeks. "You're in for a long day, babe."

"Wha' d'you mean?" My speech was a little weird from Jin squeezing the life out of my face, but I didn't mind.

"I'm gonna teach you a bunch of rules you've probably never even heard of before," Jin smiled sleepily, planting a kiss on my forehead.

"Oh," I mumbled. What if I mess everything up? I wondered aloud.

"You won't, Joon, and even if you do it's no big deal, I'll love you anyways," he grinned, nuzzling our noses together. I sighed happily.

"Whatever you say."