Chapter 11: Inside Job 2

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Once again, i found myself not being able to sleep. I kept wondering if maybe, i was worried, very very worried, infact for the first time in 3 years i felt the void of having noone, no parents, no friends and that really really hurt. I couldnt even tell Tonny. I laid back on my bed staring at the ceiling, knowing nothing,  i didnt even know what to do. I dragged myself off my bed. I didnt know what to do, but i knew where i could go. The clock had just struck 11, most of the town was asleep, night patrol would be on and that meant i could at least go out.I didnt even bother getting a coat, my body was heating up from all the nerve. I drove off in the night. Luckily, it wasnt that far...

It was amusing how they still managed to make changes there. I always found it different from the last time i had gone there. But, somehow, i couldnt miss it out. I could recognise it. Apart from the jasmines that adorned the spot, making it look like a bed of flowers that always never seemed to wilt. Either the undertaker was a huge fan of these flowers, or something supernatural was happening. Whatever it was, it was taking doing good to them. I didnt plan what i would say when i got here, but, i just wanted to be at the closest place i could get to them. That moment,  i ran my eyes on their names engraved in a nice bold font and , i couldnt help it. Flash images of those events repeated in my head like a tape From the good times, to the......other times. I just knelt besides them and...and cried my soul out. I couldnt take it anymore. I was taken back to when i was a little girl
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20 years earlier

'Happy Birthday dear Popcorn.' I giggled while he smeared a little cake on my nose. 'And guess what we have. 'Chocolate cupcakes.' I clapped in glee while jumping up and down. Mother came in holding a huge tray of cupcakes, she was not even giving me the, 'youll get a tummy ache face' I had the biggest smile ever. Father placed me on his shoulders while he ran on the beach. I had my hands spread out, i felt like i could fly. I felt so close to the sky, like i was above it. 'Weee..go father..yeeeyy'
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12 years earlier

'Popcorn, we are gonna be late.' I had been in my room for the entire morning, looking at junior high scholar me in the mirror. I hadnt imagined this. The uniform suited me and i wanted to keep looking at that. I ran downstairs and father looked at me with pride and happiness, i think i even saw a little tear at the corner of his eyes. He embraced me, goodness, he lifted me up. I giggled. 'Father, you have to be careful of your back.' He laughed at me. 'You can never be too big for me Popcorn. Even when you're thiiiis big, you'll always be my little popcorn.' I embraced him even more, hoping for the same....
'Father, do you think we still have enough time to go see mother.' He went silent but smiled warmly 'Of course, im very sure your mother would get better the moment she sees you.' I couldnt wait to see her too, i wanted her to see how big i was. I was going to high school. I kept fixing myself so as not to ruin my outfit. I knew mother would want to see me taking care of myself as i had been doing for 3 full months. We finally arrived at the hospital, i kept myself from running to her ward. I held father's hand. 'Ohk dear, take it easy.' 'Hurry father.' We arrived and i swung the door open. 'Mother...look i ...' I stopped in my tracks. I saw some nurses making the bed, an empty bed. I looked back at father and he had the most confusing expression. He looked at me, almost like he was feeling sorry. I didnt know what it meant. It took sometime. I was becoming a big girl, but..i didnt like that big girl thought i was having. I slowly walked to the bed and ran my hand on it. It was still warm and smelled like her, my sweet sweet mother. What shocked everyone, including myself was, i didnt feel like crying at all. I turned back and went back to the door,  'Lets go father, we dont want me to be late for  school.' At that was it, the last time i shed tears.

Present...

Honestly, it wasnt the mole thing that triggered it. I had had this void for as long as i can remember, but i just chose to ignore it, not anymore. I was done being strong, i wasnt strong. I missed my mother and my father, there i said it. Screams turned to hiccups and then, i was just laying there. I didnt have any tears left. I ran out, with the tears, went my burdens. It felt great, i just hoped i had done it when he was still alive. But anyway, they were both here with me. My loving parents. I found myself sleeping in that position. The cold breeze felt
like nothing,  nothing compared to my parents' embrace. 'I love you mother and father.'

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