Two Shades of Jess [Jessie J, Ariana G., Nicki M.] *COMPLETED*

Fourteen - Love Not Lust

(Jessie's P.O.V.)

Three months later, I was still in the same situation I was for a while. Between Nicki and Ariana. Dividing my time between them, and making sure they don't know about the other. Sometimes it tore me up, other times I was perfectly fine with it. I've told nobody about the love affair, not wanting to be judged.

I was with Ariana at her house, snuggled on the couch watching tv. I still don't know who the father to her baby is, but I promised I'd help her with it. She told her mom about it yesterday.

"She was happy, but sad, Jess," Ari informed. "She's always wanted a grandchild, but she was worried about you and my career. How you would take it and all."

Smiling, I kissed the top of her head. "She's so sweet. I care too much about you just to abandon you, baby."

Ariana sat up and looked me in the eye. She took a deep breath before saying, "I love you, Jessie. You've been there for me. It makes me happy knowing how much you cared for me. You make me so happy, you just don't know. You don't have to say it back, I just wanted to tell you so you'd know."

I smiled at her. She was just too adorable.

"I love you, too," I responded, catching her lips in a kiss.

Then, I picked her up for the billionth time and carried her to her room. She wanted a shower, and I did too, so we went in seperate bathrooms to shower.

~

Ariana cuddled into me as we laid in her bed, my arm around her small frame. She sighed before looking up at me. I honestly loved this girl, and nobody can change my mind about it. And I loved Nicki, too. I just couldn't say it because we haven't spoke due to her touring.

"Jess?" Ari questioned.

"Yes?"

"Would you still love me when I get big?"

"Of course. It's not about who's the dad and who made it, I'll love it no matter what."

Ari giggled, snuggling into me. "I honestly thank you, Jessie. You don't have to care for it, yet you do. Why?"

"Baby, I'm your girlfriend. And I love you. And it's a part of you. Technically, I have to love it. Or else I would be one of them people who walks out on the pregnant girl, even though it wasn't her fault, right?"

Ariana stayed silent.

"Right, babe?"

No response. Ariana looked down.

"Can I show you how much I love you?" She asked, sitting up.

I sat up also. She was chewing on her lip, staring intently at me. "Ari, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I don't want to force you."

"You're not. I want to show you how much I love you. I really do. You make me feel amazing, just by looking at me or simple touching by holding my hand. I want to express my love for you."

I leaned in to softly kiss her. It grew passionate, then turned heated after a few moments. Her lips explored my body, taking off items of clothing on the way. I've never felt this way before. Her light touches and kisses made me feel...loved. I actually felt loved. Don't get me wrong, I have thought about Nicki, and was about to tell her to stop, but the pleasure took over.

"Jess?" She squeaked once all my clothes were off.

I looked down at her. "Yes?"

"I, uh...never, um, done this b-before."

I smiled at her cuteness. Her being cute was my weakness. She blushed wildly. Of course she's never done this before. I'm her first girlfriend, and probably her only. She never looks at other girls with such attraction, only for me. When she says a girl is "cute", it's only a mere compliment, and she continues doing whatever she's doing. And, she absolutely never gets nervous around another woman like she does with me. Her cheeks turn red, and she stumbles over her words at times, and she says the cutest things to make me smile or laugh. And Joan says she constantly talks about me. I'm sure I'm the one for her.

"I'll guide you," I said, smiling a little.

Indeed, I did. I guided her hand to the right places, instructing her what to do. She was a little timid at times, but I coaxed her into it, and she tried everything she learned for the first time. I had to admit, it took a while for her to get it, but she eventually she got it. Sorry, she wasn't the best, but it didn't matter because she did it for love not lust.

When I came from my high, Ari was smiling at me. She came up and gave me a sweet kiss. "How was I?"

"Amazing for your first time, baby. Now let me do you."

And then we flipped over, and I did the same as Ari when it was me. I kissed her body, taking off clothes. Already she was moaning. And when I got to her center, I used my mouth instead. Within the first few seconds, Ari was a moaning mess under me. She couldn't stop moaning my name, or tugging on my hair, or squirming her small body. And in about five minutes, literally, Ariana cried out, releasing into my mouth. I wasn't sure if it was from it being her first lesbian experience, or if I was THAT good.

"J-Jess," she breathed, pulling me up. Her lips immediately went to mine, kissing me passionately.

"I love you," I said on her lips.

"I love you more," she replied, giggling.

~

Ariana had to go to the studio to complete her album and music videos before she got too big to do anything anymore. Of course she was keeping the baby. But she hasn't announced it to the public yet.

So, I was with Nicki at her house. She knows about Ariana's baby, but isn't enthusiastic about it.

"I'm sorry Jess, but she's just too young! Even I haven't been pregnant, and I'm in my early thirties!" Nicki stated.

"Good. You better not be. If you was, I'd have to kill you," I joked.

"I wouldn't even think of cheating on you, Jessica." Nicki snuggled into my body more.

Even though it was obvious, what she said made me think about my situation. Nicki didn't deserve this. Neither did Ariana. I'm just using them for my own selfish games. I'm a horrible person, really. What has gotten into me? I've noticed ever since I stayed in L.A., I changed. I'm not my usual, "be happy and confident" self. Not the "always do good and believe in yourself" girl. America's changed me. I don't regret working with Nicki and Ariana. I regret losing myself. I can't stay here. I know I need to go back to England, but my management won't let me, I'm sure of it.

But, not only did I realize that. I pieced everything together about my relationship with Ariana. And I came to a horrible conclusion.

Ariana's cheating on me.

A/N: PLOT TWIST! But, I bet you're all like "Jessie deserved it! She cheated first!" Like the smart people you are.

Sorry for the people who doesn't like Jessiana. They needs their moments too. And, I'm not gonna have a lot of chapters left either. I pre-write these chapters, and I'm starting on sixteen. Things get pretty heated at the end, trust me!

Okay, this REALLY needs to be edited.