Raya is different from the typical 17-year-old with lots of friends and a social life. She's been dealing with schizophrenia since she was young, feeling like an outsider, especially in high school where she only has two friends and a close host fam...
Pretending that everything was normal turned out to be harder than I thought. It was exhausting.
My thoughts kept going back to Saturday night and my head was about to fucking explode. As Isaac, Dommy, Raya and I sat in the living room, Dommy and I kept shooting glances at each other. I wanted to tell her everything but I didn't want to ruin us.
I knew that I had to work on my commitment but I was fucked up. I didn't know how to do that.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I turned it on. It was Dommy.
Dommy 💕
Why do you look so sad?
Everything ok?
Just tired.
Didn't get much sleep.
A pang of guilt swept through my entire body. The fact that she cared so much, noticing every little detail about me, made it clear that it wouldn't be long before she found out.
I was fucked.
It was only a matter of time before I'd start losing everything.
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My life had never felt so boring.
Ever since that weird discussion between Zyran and I, we hadn't seen each other. My heart and body ached for his presence and touch but I knew that I had to give it some time.
I didn't feel like I had done something that bad but I comprehended that talking about his parents or best friend, was a topic he'd rather not like to discuss.
I felt miserable. It was as if my source of happiness had been snatched away from me and I was left in a dark well; as if the only way to get out was for Zyran to come and pull me out.
I missed him and I needed him.
Why would anyone want to be with you anyway? You're crazy.
Tears welled up in my eyes as the voices continued to tear me apart and consume every last bit of self esteem I had.
My feelings for him were only growing stronger and I found myself not being able to be happy without him.
Levi's sudden departure from the couch snapped me out of my thoughts. Dommy shot me a frown, and I just shrugged. He'd been acting strange all day, and I had no clue what was bothering him.
"Is he okay?" She asked, seemingly concerned. "I don't know. Why don't you go ask him?" I smirked, nudging her elbow. She smiled shyly and stood up.
