The Unforgettable Echoes Of Love

Chapter 23

As I approached the beach, a tall figure stood against the backdrop of the sea. I inched closer and stood next to him, enveloped in silence.

The wind howled, and the moon emerged from behind the clouds, casting an ethereal glow on the night. It was cold and dark, setting the somber mood.

"Thank you for picking me up," I said. I felt his eyes on me but didn't turn to meet his gaze. "You know I'd do anything for you," he whispered, hands buried in his pockets.

"You said you would explain yourself," I reminded him, stealing a glance. The moonlight painted one side of his face, revealing the complex character that was Xavi — handsome on one side but harboring toxicity and manipulation on the other.

His golden eyes locked onto mine as he walked towards his car, and I followed suit. His Jeep was pretty high so he had to pick me up and help me sit on top. He sat close to me, too close.

"When I saw you tonight, I realised that you mean more to me than I thought. I know an apology won't fix what I did, I know my actions were unforgivable and I understand that you'll never let me back into your heart. I truly am in love with you Ray. All of me loves you and I just hope that you'll find it in you to forgive me." He prated, staring at the beach.

I hated myself.

I hated myself for that lingering spark inside me whenever he offered an apology. This was the most genuine sorry he had given me, and the fact that my heart still fluttered, and butterflies still danced, blatantly revealed that I wasn't completely over him.

I knew I couldn't give in, but the truth was, if I didn't have Zyran, I might have. For so long, I had yearned for him to express remorse for breaking my heart, and that day finally arrived. Sitting there on the hood of his car, I received the apology I craved and rightfully deserved.

I couldn't deny the reality that a part of me still loved him. A part of me still longed for his touch and attention. A part of me that, with his words, only grew more significant.

"Ray, please say something." Xavi said nervously.

The words tumbled out of my mouth uncontrollably. "I love you too, Xavi," I blurted absentmindedly.

I could sense his piercing gaze on the side of my face, burning through my skin. Reluctantly tearing my eyes away from the beach, they landed on him.

Hope filled his eyes.

"¿En serio?" He asked, his tone laced with surprise. "En serio." I replied.
(Translation: Seriously?)

"Yeah, that's why I can't do this." My eyes instantly welled up with tears, and they cascaded down my cheeks. Xavi tenderly brought his hands to my face, gently wiping away my tears with his thumbs.

"Xavi, why did you do this to me?" My voice quivered just above a whisper before breaking into a torrent of tears. The agony he inflicted seemed to shadow every corner of my existence. It felt like happiness had become an elusive dream, shattered by the profound hurt he caused.

It was as if even Zyran's love couldn't mend the fragments of my broken self.

This entire ordeal forced me to question if my love for Zyran was genuine. I pondered whether, all this time, he was merely a makeshift remedy, attempting to conceal scars that refused to heal.

The fear of confronting such thoughts gnawed at me, but their resonance felt undeniably real.

"Lo siento," he breathed before enveloping me in a hug. I knew I should've refused, but as I mentioned before, whenever I was with him, my mind ceased to function, and my emotions took control.
(Translation: I'm sorry.)

We pulled apart, and for a fleeting moment, just a second, I felt the desire to let my love for him consume me as I gazed into his golden eyes.

Instead of kissing his lips, I kissed his cheek before swiftly leaping off the hood.

One more second, and I might have surrendered.

"Can you drive me home, please?" I asked, not even looking at him. "Yeah, sure."

******

The streets were shrouded in darkness and emptiness as we neared my neighborhood. The soft strains of pop music filled the otherwise quiet car.

I turned my head slightly to Xavi, who was focusing on the road, gripping the wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. The clenched jaw signaled that something was bothering him.

"What's on your mind?" I whispered. He swiftly looked at me before returning his gaze to the road. "You," he replied.

"I just don't understand." He sighed.

"What don't you understand?" I asked, my tone soft and almost quiet.

"How you love me but don't want me," Xavi said.

"I do, but I can't." It was like I couldn't think straight around him, and my emotions spilled out recklessly. I regretted saying what I did, even though it was true.

His jaw clenched even harder, and I feared it might break. "Why? Why the fuck can't you?" he demanded.

I didn't want to disclose details about Zyran because I knew Xavi would do anything to pull us apart, and I didn't want that. Xavi could be very possessive and aggressive, and I didn't want anyone to experience that dark side of him.

"It's complicated." Was all I said.

He emitted a frustrated sigh, his hand grazing his mouth as if to restrain hurtful words. "We're this close to being happy again and yet you're fucking ruining it all," he lamented, throwing his arms into the air.

Perhaps I was, but my indifference prevailed. It wasn't fair for him to strip everything away from me and then beg for it back as if he weren't the cause of its loss in the first place.

"I can't fucking believe you Xavi." I spoke, massaging my forehead. He scoffed, gesturing towards himself. "You can't believe me? Stop trying to turn the situation around Ray."

Oh my days!

"Be fucking for real now." A smile insidiously appeared on my face, and before restraint could intervene, I erupted into laughter.

I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. I didn't even know why, I just did.

"What's so funny?" He asked, visibly annoyed by my reaction. "I don't know." I replied truthfully, causing my laughter to cease completely.

Now I know—it was yet another facet of my fucking schizophrenia.

He knew but I was grateful that he didn't ask any further questions.

******

Upon reaching my house, a yearning for sleep consumed me. It was past midnight, and all I desired was to divest myself of my dress and makeup.

"Thank you for dropping me off." I expressed. He emitted a nonchalant hum, and I reluctantly swung open the door, proceeding into the enveloping darkness toward my house across the street.

In the driveway, an unfamiliar car caught my attention. A black Mercedes with a license plate all too familiar.

It was Bella's car.

Dramaaaa....

(23/01/2023)