Head Over Heels In Fake

Devistation

The nightmare was more vivid. More pronounced. Maybe it's be issue they haven't visited me in quite a while. And this time, I don't see a face. But I feel the breath. Feel the hands.
I wake suddenly. Gasping for breath. Slowly my small body pushes itself into a sitting position. I close my eyes, trying to relax. My hands are pressed down either side of me, supporting my weight and my hair is messy and knotted.
My fingers curl around the little water bottle by my bed and I down the contents in one.
Then I reach for the phone.
Quickly I check the clock . Half two. I call Carter like I usually do.
It rings twice before a muffled "hello?" Comes to my ear.
"Carter?" I whisper.
"Jessie are you okay?" Carter asks and I nod but remembering that he can't see me I say "yeah , I am now I have heard your voice"
"Did you have a nightmare?"
"Yep. It was all black. I could just hear things. Smell things. Feel things" I feel hot droplets of water running down my cheeks.
"It's over now though beautiful" Carter whispers through the phone.
"Yeah it is. I'm going to sleep again" I reply, thankful just for hearing his beautiful voice.
"Are you really?"
"No"
Carter chuckles. "Goodnight my beautiful girl"
"Night Carter. My knight in shining armour"
Carter laughs before hanging up.
I smile for a while. The phone still pressed to my ear. Then my arm drops, smashing the phone to my chest. Tears roll down my cheeks as I stare blankly at the ceiling above me for about half an hour before I feel my eyes droop without me telling them to.
Then I'm sleeping. Sleeping restlessly in an unknown oblivion.

When what seams like a few minutes has passed I open my eyes and glance at the clock .
Five a.m.
What had woken me? I wonder as I pick the phone up from next to me and place it on the bedside table. Then I hear it. Knocking. Knocking on the front door.
How I hear it from all the way up hear I have no idea.
Slowly I get up and walk over to my window to which conveniently looks over the front door.
I pull back the curtains to see one police man and one police woman.
My eyes widen before I pull a long jumper over my pyjamas , which consist of a tank top and shorts, and run down the stairs.
When I reach the door, I unlock it quickly before throwing it open.
"Sorry to keep you waiting, officers, I was asleep."
Neither of the police people say a word.
I lean against the frame of the door and cross my arms.
"Can I help you at all?" I ask, quieter this time.
The woman gulps. Her dark skin crinkles as she furrows her brow.
"Let's go inside" she says, her voice hardly more then a whisper.
I nod slowly before stepping aside and letting the police officers through.
I show then through to e kitchen before calling for Meg, my sister, because mums not here. Meg comes comes quickly.
When the four of us are seated around the dining room table the woman clears her throat.
"I'm afraid we have some bad news" she says slowly and gently. "Carter Pick was involved in a traffic collision early this morning. He was walking across a zebra crossing when a speeding car hit him. Mr Pick was pronounced dead at the scene"
The hear drops. Not just my heart but my stomach and my lungs and parts of me that I didn't even know existed.
"He left a note saying he was coming to visit you"
I gasp, holding my seat tightly with both hands, afraid I might fall off.
I gasp again but this time, the rushing air noise comes out as a sob. A ratting sob that clenches my body and soul. And then it starts. The feeling that overwhelms me p. It's not grief. It's something I have never experienced before.
I feel Meg crying silently beside me. But I can't cry silently so I bolt it. Out of the door and into the street.
Grief flows freely and menacingly around my body. My face is wet which tears that I never noticed fell and I cry loudly. I scream. My hands tear through my hair and drag across my face.
He can't be dead. He can't be.
I run fast out of the street and towards the only zebra crossing I know, half hoping to see a boy with a lopsided grin sitting in the back of a ambulance, with maybe a broken arm. My legs take me fast and I continue crying.
When I found a corner I see it. An ambulance. Hope rises above the grief as I sprit around to the back of it. But instead of seeing a beautiful boy. My beautiful boy. I see a body bag. A black body bag with something, someone inside it. My knees buckle and I fall to the hard floor beside me. I scream out and cry at the body bag as it is carefully lowered into the ambulance.
One of the paramedics turns to his partner.
"What was his name again, Mick?" He asks with a form between his hands.
"Carter, Carter Pick. That's what they think anyway."
The other man nods. My crys have become so loud they are silent. Slowly I find the strength to stand up.
My legs walk towards Mick.
"Excuse me. You said it could be Carter Pick. I was, am his girlfriend. Can I see the face to tell you for sure?"
"No can do" Mick says. The amount of emotion in his voice is minuscule. "Now move along"
I close my eyes tightly then open them again to see the doors slam shut and the ambulance zoom away.
I stand at the zebra crossing. Wind flicks my hair. My arms hang by my sides and I stand perfectly still. My eyes still producing tears but silent ones.
My boy.
My knight in shiny armour.