Head Over Heels In Fake

School

My head pounds as I wake up. The cold, Monday morning air hits me like a ton of bricks as I push the duvet of my fragile body. Food isn't appealing to me any more. Nothing is. My bones have begun to peer through my skin and were showing quite clearly. But I could not eat. I just couldn't. The food made me sick. When I told Kingston about this he smiled sympathetically.  "It's all part of the grieving process" he said stroking my hair. "It will get better"
Kingston had become a rock for me. He was always there when I needed him. He comforted me but also told me how it was. He told me that I wasn't to only one feeling like this. And that made it better. More acceptable because I know he was going through it as well. Many evenings were spent on my bed, lying together, crying together and watching movies together. Nothing romantic. No. Just comfort.

This morning was different to any other morning. I was going back to school. After one week off, I feel I am ready.
Slowly my hands pull a pair of ripped jeans over my bare legs. I grab a band shirt (fall out boy) and my trusty leather jacket and pull those over my bra.
Mum drives me in to school round the back way. Not many people come this way. When she pulls up I attempt to get out of the car but mums warm hand pulls me back.
"You look ill" she says soothingly. "Yo can always go home. Try again another day"
My throat wants to say 'yes mummy take me home' but I force my mouth to smile.
"No, it's okay, I'm okay"
Mum mimicked my smile. "Okay. Have s good day sweetie, do you need me to pick you up?"
"No, I'm going out with Kingston . Just to the cafe. Then he's dropping me to Ann. She changed my appointment" I explain before giving mum a quick kiss and getting out of the car.
Masie texts me just after I get out.
Masie: you coming in today x
Me: yeah, just got here, where are you? X
Masie: just coming round the back x
Me: okay meet me by PE x
I click my phone off and story walking towards PE. People stare like they used to. Sympathetic glances and smiles. One group of year eight girls saw me amd turned into a huddle almost at once. As I reach them, they all look up and smile.
"Bless her, she's so sad" one of them whispers to her friend.
"Yeah, apparently they were in love"
You bet your arse we were in love. A tear rolls down my cheek and the girls 'aww' in unison. I hurry on, wiping e tear from my cheek.
Soon I reach PE and I see Maise standing against the wall. Her newly died hair is piled on top of her head elegantly. Suddenly it hits me. I haven't seen my best friend since the funeral. Her once long, light hair had been changed into a dark ban and I suited her. I guess we all needed change.
"Maise!" I call and Masie sees me before running towards me and enveloping me in a tight hug.
"Oh my god!" She gasps. "Oh my god how are you" she whispers and I shrug.
"I've been better" I mutter "how about you"
"Still in shock." Maise sighs, pushing us apart and playing with her new hair.
"I like it" I say, festering at her hair and she grins before her face drops.
"I don't know why but I looked in the mirror the day after the funeral, I saw my hair and you know, when I first talked to Carter, he said 'I like your hair, you could cut it short though. It would look nice' and I just laughed at him. It was like an ongoing argument. A petty one, it wasn't real but then I thought, yeah you know what Carter, you prick, I'm going to take your advice. And I did and I like it. I bet he's sitting up there laughing at me"
Maise chuckled quietly. I smile. "Well I like it" I say before linking my best friends arm together we walk through the halls before a mob of wanna be girls swarm us.
"Aww, we missed you Jess" the girls say
"Your jacket is so nice!"
"Sad about Carter!"
"Do you miss him"
The girls skit around me, touching my clothes and hair and face. They coo in my ear and make pathetic sympathy comments. They close in on myself and Maise until we have nearly no breathing room. My heart pounds in my chest and blood rushes in my ears. The girls cackles fill up my brain and like a shaken coke can p, I explode.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yell "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The crowd turns silent. Last time so,etching like this happened, Cadter came and saved me. But he's not here now.
"All of you, leave p me alone" I whisper and I grab Masie's hand. Then I run, Maise follows after sending a dirty scowl at the gaggle of gossiping girls.
Tear roll down my cheeks once again. Finally I find a free corridor and I run down it. My sobs, although quiet, shake my bow to skinny body.
My eyes turn blurry and I blink furiously p, trying to clear them.
Maise is down the other end of the corridor, I must of let go of her hand.
I hear her calling out to someone but I don't know who.
The words make no sense. Suddenly another figure appears. I can't see who becomes the blur still lingers in my eyes. Then a pair of warm hand cup my face.
"Jessie, jessie. Jessie it's okay. It's all okay" the person says.
"Carter?" I say, a flicker of pointless hope flurries in my stomach.
"No Jessie, not its Kingston"
Then everything comes into focus. My breathing slows down and so does my heart. The word make sense.
"Oh shit" I mutter, reaching up and holding onto Kingston's wrists. His hands stay on my face.
I look around slowly to see Maise and Ned standing, hugging near the entrance to the corridor.
"I'm going to stand up now" I mutter to Kingston who nods and helps me to my feet. I glance up and see Beth staring at me from the other side of the corridor.
"Beth, please, I really can't be doing with it right now" I mutter, causing Masie, Ned and Kingston to spin around and see her, but instead of replying, bath sprints down the corridor towards me. 'She's going to attack me' I think, getting ready to fight back but to my utter surprise, Beth hugs me. A tight embrace which I slowly give back. When she moves away from me, I see her eye makeup running.
"I really did care about him" Beth whispers before Turing her back and walking away.
I smile sadly after her.
School goes slowly, the girls are at least now not talking to me but it's different.
When the bell goes, I hop onto Kingston's motorbike and he drives us down the the local cafe where we sit in silence.
The coffee tastes nice and I drink it slowly, just as Kingston drinks his tea.
I take this chance to examine him. The though, sharp lines of his features contradict his personality quite poetically. His light blue eyes contrast with his dark tanned skin and his silky brown hair. Kingston's hands and placed around the newspaper . He's handsome.
No I can't say that, I've got Carter.
No I don't. I don't have Carter at all. Carter, my boy, is gone. Gone and I need to move on. Miss him, he's my love. I love him so I must miss him, yes, but move on.
Cautiously, my hands unclasp the hot coffee and slip onto his. Kingston looks up,startled before squeezing them once and holding onto them. His lips formed a little smile.
"You okay?" He asks and I nodded.
"Thank you, King, for everything"
Kingston nodded once. "It's my pleasure Jess. My pleasure"