Head Over Heels In Fake

Just a blip

After coffee, King dropped me off at the hospital.
"You don't have to wait, mums picking me up" I said and King nodded.
"Okay, well I'll see you at school" he says, smiling coyly. I nodded and smiled back.
King revved the motorbike engine and zooms off into the distance.
My eyes linger on him for a while and I smile softly. Just friends. But he was perfect for me. He knows what ps going on with me. And he's sweet, funny, attractive, Carter would want me to move on right? I bet he's sitting up there with a bunch of stunningly beautiful angels feeding him grapes and I bet he spends a heavenly night with each of them because yeah, you only live once but your dead forever so make the bloody most of it.
"Go get those Angels Mr Pick. You know you can" I mutter before turning around and marching up the hospital steps.
Soon I reach the waiting room and within two minutes I'm called into see Ann.
Since coming to see her for he first time, we have grown close. I feel more comfortable around her then I do with my own family.
"Hey Ann" I say as I fling my bag onto the chair and go to sit on the sofa she has newly installed.
"Hey, how are you doing?" She says, smiling at me. "How long haven't I seen you for?"
"Two months, that's your fault. You went on holiday and then cancelled my appointments"
Ann grins. "Yeah well I was spending time with my new Granddaughter" she says and I squeal happily.
"Mary had it? She had the baby!"
Ann nods, looking very happy.
"How's Carter doing?" She asks, reaching over for my case book.
Oh shit. She didn't know.
"Um..." I whisper, trying to find the right words. My hand reaches up to my forehead. Your not going to cry this time Fow.
"Ann, Carter is dead." I say slowly. Ann gasps audibly.
"He was hit by a car about two weeks ago"
Ann shakes her head in shock. "But he was so good for you"
"Don't you think I don't know that!" I shout before apologising. "Sorry, it's just, I loved him you know" Don't you cry Jessie, don't you bloody cry.
"Yeah, yeah, I know what it's like. When I was your age, I loved this boy. He died and my parents didn't tell me till recently. I know what it's like. And trust me, it's just a blip in your long life. A big blip, a monumental blip, but just a blip" Ann's eyes had filled with tears just talking about her lost love. "Now tell me everything"
So I do. I tell Ann how he was coming to see me, about the funeral, about school. Everything.
"Ann, is it bad I think I'm falling for someone so soon after... You know.... And is it bad this person is Carters best friend?"
Ann smiled sadly. "No. It's not bad at all. It's good. You know he's not coming back and your moving on. I bet he's got over ten girlfriends up there" she points her pen to the sky "and I bet he wants you to move on. He still loves you. I always think that the feeling the person dies with, the feelings they are holding in their heart at the point of death are the feelings they feel forever more. He was feeling love, Jessie, he loves you forever, like you will love him forever. But I bet he wants you to move on. To enjoy life. And it's even better it's his best friend. He will know what's going on in your head because it will be happening to them to"

The rest of he session is spent talking about King. And I'm happy about that.
When the session ends, Ann walks me to the office door and hugs me tightly. "Have a good week okay? And get some food down you, your way to thin"
I smile and wish her a good week also and tell her to send her granddaughter love from me.

Mum is waiting for me just outside the hospital. I check my phone before I get in the car and see I have a text from Rachel.
Rachel: I need to talk to you. Meet me at the park at half five xx
Rachel and her boyfriend hadn't worked out so I wondered if it was something to do with that. I agreed and got mum to drop me off there saying I could walk home.

Rachel was waiting for me at the gates. Before I got out of the car I closed my eyes tightly, this is where it happened. Images of his face flash before my eyes and I open them quickly.
"Sweetie, are you okay?" Mum asks and I nod quickly.
"I'll, er, I'll see you at home" I hurry out of the car to towards Rachel.
Her pretty face is tear stained and heft hairs a mess. Rachel's eyeliner is smudged and her mascara is running down her face.
The mans face flashes in front of my eyes. I won't go in that direction, I'll go the other way. But this was for Rachel.
"Hey what's up!?" I say, pulling Rachel into a huge hug as I reach her.
She sobs into my shoulder. "Rachel, what's happened?" I ask, slightly more concerned now.
Rachel takes my hand and lead is me to a corner. The corner it happened.
"No Rach, not over there"
Rachel stops crying for one second to realise where she was taking me before nodding frantically.
"Okay, yeah sorry, over here then" she says through sobs and pulls me over to the other side of the park.
She cries for a while longer before I start to talk to her.
"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong or...?" I say and she nods.
"God, your going to hate me" she says, rubbing her eyes. "Jessie, I'm a lesbian" she says in one breath.
I wait for the rest. But it doesn't come. "So..." I say, trying to prompt the reason she was crying. 
"So I'm a lesbian! Don't you get it?!"
"Get what?"
"I like girls. Girls not guys"
"Yeah I know that lesbian means, Rachel"
Rachel stares at me, worry lurking in her dark eyes. "Don't you hate me?"
I laugh "why the hell would I hate you?! It's cool. Like its cool I'm straight and it's cool that the guy from home ec is bi. It's all cool."
"And I think I like this girl in my English class" she whispers and I nod.
"What's her name?"
"Calla. Calla Frost"
I recognise the name and put it with a face."The ginger" Rachel nods "she's pretty. I like her and I think she's bi"
Rachel smiles. "Yeah, we have been talking for a few weeks. Like six weeks and I came out to her a few days ago and she totally wasn't freaked. I also came out to Kelly. You know Kelly?"
I smirked remembering the text I sent her. 'Piss Off you noisy cow' was the exact text.
"Yeah I know her"
"Yeah well I came out to her and she told me she heard that you were like totally homophobic and I should come out to you as gently as possible because you might hurt me"
I laughed. "Seriously!"
"Yeah!" Rachel was laughing too.
"She just hates me because I told her to piss off. I bet the fact your a lesbian and I'm a homophobe is whirling around school right now."
Rachel smiled cunningly. "I've got a plan" she says, wiping the mascara from under her eyes.

The next day, before school, Rachel comes over ready to put the plan into action. Last night, we went into town and bought a gay pride shirt. Rachel had it on when she arrived and I grinned at her. "You look great" I said and she smiled. "I hope Calla likes it"
"She will. She'll be proud you have come out the closet"
Rachel smiles and then we set to work.
We text Kelly from Rachel's phone.
R: so how many people have you told about me being gay?
K: practically either whole school knows, but I didn't tell them. Have you come out to Jessie yet?
R: yea.
K: it was her then. She hates gays, how did she react?
R: she reacted well.
K: such a two faced bitch! But then again, all  Queenies are!
R: I guess so...
Hen I got s text from Maise.
Masie: have you heard, Rach is gay! I knew it! I'm so happy for her!
Me: yeah I heard. The rumour going round is I'm a homophobe. But don't listen to it, it's not true. We have a plan!
Then I get another text from a girl called Tiff.
Tiff: your so horrid! You best friend came out to you and you push her away. I should of know. Bloody homophobe.
And then I get another one just like it. And another. And another. I just smile. The plan is working.
We hop on my moped and race to school. I'm greeted with Beth and a crowd of angry people.
"I never had you down as a homophobe, Fow"
"Yeah well..."
I help Rachel off my bike. Her shirt is still covered with her jacket. She pulls of her helmet and the crowd watches intrigued.
Then Rachel unzips her jacket and shows off her pride shirt. I link her arm.
"That's because I'm not one"
Rachel laughs and together we walk into school, the crowd smiling after us and that includes Beth.
Maybe she's okay after all.